help!!!!! Need Advice and bad bridesmaid scene

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

It sounds like you both are being MORE than accomodating to your wedding party. I hope your FI stood up for you, and at this point I probably would be tempted to tell them both to pound sand. They must have paid for their outfits already by now, right? If they aren’t in it won’t they be losing money? 

Post # 5
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I kinda just semi read your whole post but yeah I pretty much think that if one agrees to be a BM one should expect to spend some Serious money. If I were in your position, Iwould make sure they still want to be part of your wedding and prepare that they might leave you hanging.It isn’t your fault they seemingly decided to merge incomes. 

Post # 7
Member
27 posts
Newbee

Looks like they’re expecting it to be a free ride, but are sadly mistaken.  It also seems like you’ve taken care of everything, not to mention WAY. IN. ADVANCE.  They have so much time to save up for (even though it’s a few hundred dollars) anything they made need. You planned everything out ahead of time, so it’s pretty shocking that they’re already complaining.  They’ll know what it’s like to be in your shoes when it’s time for those two to get married – if they end up getting married.  I also hope that your fiance stood up for you regarding those very hurtful things that they said to you.  Nobody knows what it’s like until it’s their turn to get married.

Post # 8
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know it sucks, and I’m sorry, but… Good riddance to those two!  Be glad they showed their true colors now. 

Post # 9
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I hope you are not second guessing your actions or feeling guilty. You have been MORE than accommodating and generous with your bridal party. Complaining when your only responsibilities are to buy a dress/ tux and chip in for a bach party? And you have over a year to figure it out? Please!  They sound like miserable people. At least they’re a package deal and both sides are still even! 

Post # 10
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Loosing a friend is always hard, esp when you are the one bending over backwards. I feel so bad you made so many sacrifices to your big day just for her. A real friend would never ask you to do that or act that way. maybe this new bf is influencing her negatively, is controlling, or maybe she is just super jealous. Maybe they have an issue you know nothing about. Regardless you don’t deserve to be treated the way she treated you. Stand strong and realize you are better off and have other good people on your side. you will get sad and angry about it (it’s like a break up!) and it’s ok to miss the good parts of your friend, at the end of the day though you need to worry about yourself. She will eventually realize her mistake and regret her loss of you as a great friend, but by then you will have mkved on. You got this girl just ignore her (that will send a messag!) and focus on your big day!

Post # 11
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

Have the two of them never been in a wedding party before? Either way, the last thing I would ever be comfortable doing is complaining about the cost involved to the (already extremely accomodating) bride and groom! If you guys had set a top price with them and went way over it I could understand, but it sounds as if you guys have already discussed all of that. 

Like other posters said, I don’t think this is how true friends would be acting in this situation…especially on the boyfriends end! If your not certain whether she knows about the email situation, I would ease off on talking to her for a few days and see if she questions it or just lets it happen. That would give you your answer. 

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your planning with the rest of your bridal party!

Post # 12
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@lpore3003:  What a pair of assholes.  You need those toxic pests out of your wedding and out of your LIFE!

Post # 14
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@lpore3003:  wow, what you are covering for all of your BM’s is VERY generous. I would be thrilled if someone offered to pay for HALF of the things that you are (hair and makeup the very least) I dont know why this couple would demean you and insult you, and Im sure it hurts. To say the things that was said, they must have been thinking this for a long time. Those are not real friends!!!! You are better off without them. Enjoy your day with those who love and appreciate all that you have done for them!! 

Post # 15
Member
2519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@lpore3003:  Cut the two crazies out of your wedding party and carry on. You are being MORE than accomodating and super generous. After the way they treated you do you even want them in your wedding??

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

lpore3003:  

I feel like a bad bride, haha. You’re doing SOOO much for your party, more than you should IMO.

I say you’re better with out those 2 in your wedding party! We have two married couples in our party and they played the ‘double the expense’ card, which I thought wasn’t fair, they knew what was involved when they agreed to be in the wedding. I also had one friend back out because she couldn’t afford it. Which I completely respect. She’s still a good friend and is still invited to everything. We’re not having an expensive wedding, but my party is responsible for their transportation and accomodation the night of the wedding.

You derserve to be treated with much more respect, especially by someone standing up for you on one of the most important days of your life. Let them go, they’re jerks!

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