(Closed) Help!! Need officiant advice

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My first wedding involved a minister and he never sat down with us. I say go with the friend. I’m having my little brother ordained to marry us.

Post # 4
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We met with a pastor but the pastor doesn’t help plan the wedding.  That time is spent on premarital counseling.  Our pastor didn’t tell us what to do for the ceremony.  We told him what we wanted.  He did tell us what is customary but like I said, we told him what we wanted.  I say get your friend ordained and research on the net for guidance with planning the ceremony.  

Post # 5
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

we’re not religious either.  we’re getting married on a golf course or the terrace of a country club.  we didn’t want religious but we also didn’t want elvis either.  (we’re getting married in vegas.)  we just contacted the different ministers listed on the venue’s recommended vendor list. i looked on their websites and looked at their basic ceremony wording.  most provided religious and non-denominational ceremonies.  the first minister we contacted was booked but he gave us contact information for a former professional baseball player turned pastor.  we went ahead and booked with him.  we’re both huge baseball fans!

 

Post # 7
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am using a retired judge and he sad down and went over everything with us and said we can meet as many times as we like…  I would look and see if one in your area would be willing to do the same. 

Post # 8
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You really dont have to to go through many things with the person Marrying you.

their job is to make it legal.

Me and my husband are not religious either, and all I simply did was google Officants in my area and I was able to read a lil paragraph on everyone.

We went with someone who’s a Humanist, and doesnt have a particular faith but can marry just about anyone. She helped me with the vows, and We spent maybe 20 mins with her at the wedding before she left to the next Wedding,

Now if you want a friend to marry you, thats fine too. Its a small fee and the paper work is easy.

But you will see as you go deeper into the Wedding planning, that the Officiant is the least of your planning worries. And one of the easiest to check off.

 

Good Luck,

Post # 9
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@ashers033:  I guess you could ask the secretary how things work with the JOP performing the ceremony.  They probably don’t sit down with you though.  Someone, somewhere on this site stated that they got married and it was like getting a driver’s lisence.  No exchanging of vows.  Money was collected and lisence was signed and issued.  I think they went to the courthouse, but I’m not sure.  

Post # 11
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Even though you aren’t religious, check with some of the officants of the congregations in your area.  I’ve been a wedding planner for a long time, and many of the officiants that handled the ceremonies on our lakeside spot were from churches in the area, but the services ranged from very sprirtual to very secular. 

Even a JOP should be able to meet with you once to go over the wording that they use. 

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had the same problem. My fiance and I aren’t very religious. The problem was that I grew up roman Catholic and my grandparents are very religious. My parents didn’t care where I was getting married (actually my mom was encouraging me to just elope in Hawaii). I knew I had to have some religiou saspects in my ceremony though because it would make my grandparents happy, since they were already going to be pissed I wasn’t getting married in a church. I went on The Knot, looked up officients in Pittsburgh (I live about 40 minutes away form there, but the officient just charges a little for travel) and I was able to find a reverend who was a former Catholic priest who had gotten married and now is an officient. He was perfect for us because he gave us options for our outline and allows us to make it our own. He’s great. I suggest looking on their for someone. Good Luck!

Post # 14
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It might just take some time for your mom to get used to it.  My parents weren’t quite excited about the idea either.  We had a friend get ordained online.  My dad had issues because it wasn’t a pastor so I used arguments such as, “does he even remember who performed his ceremony” and “countless marriages occur in the church and countless marriages end in divorce so having a minister doesn’t make ours any less valid”.  He came around.  For my mom I pleaded to a more emotional side.  As in “wouldn’t it be awesome to have a friend that we hang out with all the time” and “we’d really like someone who really KNOWS both of us rather than one or the other”.  She also thought it wouldn’t be very religious so we agreed to have my dad say a prayer which was awesome.  I just found out what their issues were and compromised.

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