Post # 1
I have a lot of younger cousin. I am the oldest. Big cousin is getting married and everyone wants to be a part of it. I am so happy and grateful. It’s just I am receiving a lot of family pressure to put kids in my wedding. I already have a ring bearer, two flower girls and a junior bridesmaid. The junior bridesmaid will be 12 at the time of the wedding. I have two twin cousins and another cousin and they are all 8 years old. I am getting a lot of pressure on my family to find meaningful roles for them. They are too old for flower girls. The guestbook job is stupid. I could have them hand out programs but I’ve been told that’s stupid as well. So the only thing I can think of is making the junior a full fledged bridesmaid and calling the other three juniors. I would just get them all the same dress and say whatever, but I ordered Alfred Angelo BM dresses and they aren’t doing rush orders. Any advice would be appreciiated. I really don’t want the kids to feel I love them any less than the others.
Post # 3
I don’t think having a child by the guestbook or being given the task to hand our programs is “stupid.” If you have these items at your wedding, someone has to be given the job to man them. Would your family call it a stupid job if these kids weren’t involved?
Anyway, adding children to your wedding party just to silence people isn’t going to silence them. The nagging will never end. If you don’t want them in the actual wedding party that stands up with you, then give them the program and guestbook tasks.
Your family can’t have their cake and eat it, too. If they want them to do something in your wedding, they should be satisfied with whatever job the children are given.
Heck, do these kids even want to be a part of it? Their desire (or lack thereof) should be put first.
It’s your wedding, place people where you see fit.
Post # 4
I’m in the same position. I am having my closest adult friends/family as my BM’s – As BIG COUSIN, I have asked my two younger female cousins and two younger male cousins to write a short comedic/love poem about me and FI. They are little comics. So during the speaches, they will get up and read the short poem they wrote together 🙂 – They are very excited and happy to do it…lol
Post # 5
Make the 8 year olds wear the same thing as the flower girls and have them walk first. Make them part of the bridal party like Kate Moss.
Post # 6
@MrsLulu: I was going to suggest the same thing. 8 years old is fine for a flower girl (and they can also be given the task of looking after younger flower girls/ring bearers during the ceremony). Remember how cute all the little girls were in Kate Middleton’s wedding?
Post # 7
I don’t think those jobs are stupid. Or lighting candles at the ceremony, introducing the couple at the reception, saying grace. I have a whole bunch of neices and nephews and I am asking them all to do little jobs, so they feel included.
Post # 8
Definitely have them hand out programs, man the guest book … your venue might allow you to deputize them as “cake servers” … when my sister got married a few years ago, she had a couple of little cousins as “train bearers” (may or may not work depending on your gown) … at weddings in my family, instead of putting favors on the tables we usually have the little cousins go around the reception and pass them out, so I’ll be asking a couple of my cousins to do this … someone mentioned candlelighters …