Post # 1
I’m fairly new around here I have commented on other post but this is my first. I really could use some advice here. Okay my wedding is April 2014. Right now FI and I are working out our budget, and I also have a tour scheduled with the venue we have chosen next Saturday. This place books quickly so if things go well I wanted to put down a deposit ASAP. Now here’s my problem.
All of FI’s family lives here in Virginia and some in Chicago. FI and I thought it would be great to help out with some of the travel expenses so I suggested that we pay for the hotels for all of our out of town guest. Well FI also wants to pay for a portion if not all of their plane tickets. We have the money to do it BUT I would like to stay well under our 25k budget I just don;t want to spend spend spend just because we have it saved.
So I think I have come up with a solution. Our ceremony will be at 5:30, I was thinking maybe we could have the guest fly in the morning of the wedding, instead of the day before to cut cost on the hotel fee, rehearsal dinner, and the breakfast we would have to provide for all 30 guest.
I also wanted think that we should only pay for the plane tickets of those in the bridal party. I have yet to talk to FI about this I am as soon as he gets home but wanted some outside thoughts on this..what do you guys think?
Post # 3
I think paying for the hotels for guests is overly generous. If I had to travel for a wedding, I would understand I need to budget for a hotel. Also, not sure where in VA you are, but hotels get expensive around here, and you could easily drop several thousand dollars on that alone. I also don’t think you can dictate when people fly in; that’s not fair to people who may want to make it a vacation,
Post # 4
I’m not sure how many guests you were thinking about inviting and how many are out of town guests, but weddings are expensive enough as it is. Adding in airfare AND hotel for your guests, you’ll be at your 25k budget before you know it!
I think you and your FI definitely need to sit down and agree on a budget. I think paying for one night of the hotel room is already more than enough. If people want to come in earlier or stay longer they can pay for the room themselves.
Post # 5
Wow, you two are very generous! I have traveled to friends/family weddings before, but I have never had them offer to pay! I wish we were able to do that for our wedding guests too, but our budget won’t allow for it. We are offering our guest bedrooms at our house, but that’s it 🙂
Post # 6
Are you sure you can afford to do that and stay in your 25k budget? Weddings are very expensive as is, so I can’t imagine paying for hotel and airfare for the guests on top of that.
Post # 7
At most, I would offer to pay for one night at the hotel (actually I would never do this, but this seems like a good compromise to me). I don’t think you should be dictating when people fly in and I don’t think anyone is going to expect you to pay for their flight.
Post # 8
Thanks for the comments everyone.
Ok as far as when the guest are going to fly in, they would be traveling from VA to TX..all are family and maybe 8 close friends they have asked us when we wanted them to fly in because they all wanted to fly in on the same date (sorry for the confusion)
I also think it’s generous to pay for the hotel and this is what I’m trying to get FI to understand, paying for airfare is not in our budget and pulling money out of our savings is NOT an option & I know he’s going to want to up the budget because of this and I don;t agree with spending more than 25k even if we can afford it. I feel that we are being more than generous as is.
Post # 9
Personally, if I were a guest, I don’t prefer to fly in the day of the wedding. I’d rather pay for my own airfare to get there at least 1 day before so I can get settled and relax a bit before the craziness of getting dressed up and being there on time, especially if it’s a city I’m not familiar with and need to drive anywhere to get to the venue(s).
Post # 10
maybe just pay a small credit to everyones room, or pay for another meal. I agree with other people above, i have been to DWs before and never expected the bride & groom to pay for my hotel.
Post # 11
I went through this line of thought as well and in the end, we could not afford to pay for a wedding and for everyone. So we went DW far away, instead of where we live and they travel to us. So what we have done is negogiate deals from hotels, and if people are flying together, group airfare rates. By doing this, we have saved everyone at least a few hundred dollars. I think it is extremly generous of you to pay for the hotels. It adds up.
Post # 12
I think the wedding cost will pile up and you’ll be happy you went the traditional route and left guests to pay for their own accomodations and travel.
Post # 13
I don’t think you really need to pay for hotels or airfare. As a guest, I would expect to be paying for those things myself. But since you had planned it anyway, paying for hotel rooms is extremely generous of you so I don’t think paying for flights is necessary.
Post # 14
I think that’s very generous but it also becomes tricky, as a guest I wouldn’t want to fly in that morning and I may want to stay later. So you paying for the room would make it tricky for me to have the trip I want. I think you hosting meals is a much more generous and classy alternative. I also think you can give amazing oot bags to your guests and provide transportation. Where in Virginia is your wedding?