- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
This is my first personal post here, and I am frustrated and confused and in need of some advice about my relationship.
I have been engaged to my FI since June and we are getting married in October of this year. Our sex life is leaving a lot to be desired, at least on my part. In the beginning our sex life was much more spontaneous and adventurous. Then it began to wane. He’s definitely “in the mood” a lot, but his attempts at telling/showing me often leave me annoyed or disappointed. He will just come up to me and start grabbing me, and it’s often poorly timed as well.
I’m a very sexual person, and I’ve barely had sex in the past few months. In the past, all of my sexual relationships didn’t require much work. The guys pretty much knew what they were doing and I didn’t have to give much direction as far as how to please me. Maybe I was just lucky. I’ve started comparing my FI to my ex, who I had the best sex of my life with. I don’t want to have these thoughts, because he’s 100 times the man my ex will ever be.
I love my FI so much, and he is an amazing man. I can’t wait to be married to him. The problem is, I don’t want this looming over us at the start of our marriage. I want to talk to him about it now and work on things so we are both happy.
I have mentioned a few things to him in the past, like asking him to be more assertive. He just doesn’t seem the type. I even ask him about fantasies or random things he may want to try out, and most of it is pretty boring. Am i just used to dating freaky guys or something??
I know you can’t have everything in life, but I’m afraid if I don’t talk to him and try to work on being more satisfied, that it will ruin our relationship. I always ensure he’s satisfied in every way, and when I ask him if there’s anything else I can do, he always says that he is. He never makes suggestions, and i’ve tried to make him feel comfortable so he could say anything to me. I wouldn’t judge.
So I need advice on how to approach the topic, and maybe even what to say to him??
Basically, I just need to be satisfied more. I’m not having orgasms, and I find myself avoiding certain sexual acts just to spare myself the disappointment. How do you tell someone to do something better without hurting them?
Is this normal?? Thanks in advance for the help.