HELP! No one can come to my wedding!

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Have you thought about inviting friends?

Post # 3
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

CarribeanBridetoBe:  Did you discuss this with them before you decided to have a DW? Is the cost the issue? Can you pay for your closest family to attend? 

Post # 6
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

CarribeanBridetoBe:  I think a DW is a great idea, but it’s clear it’s not what you really wanted. If you wanted to go away and marry your FI and didn’t care who was there I would say carry on as planned. But it sounds like having your family there is really important to you, so something needs to be worked out.

You have a couple choices, carry on as planned, get married with a small number of people for a DW, then have a party with your family + others who couldn’t make it when you get back.

Or, you can take a hit financially, call off the DW, try to get the peoples money back that have already paid, if not reimburse them yourself, and have a small intimate wedding at home.

OR, since you may be taking a hit anyways, pay for the people you want there… providing the money is the reason they can’t come.

Post # 7
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

CarribeanBridetoBe:  That’s strange to me… backing out all of a sudden. I’m doing a domestic destination, and if people backed out like that (including family), it would be their loss. Of course I would be mad, but I wanted to spend my special day with them, and they decided it’s not important. I wouldn’t waste my energy on it.

Post # 11
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

CarribeanBridetoBe:  How many people already bought their tickets? Do they have travel insurance? If only a couple, could you buy the tickets from them to use for a honeymoon? Have them transfer it to your name, if you could buy it from them? That way they aren’t out anything and you can have your little church wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

CarribeanBridetoBe:  Scheduling? Afraid to fly?

Those are super shitty reasons if you ask me. They had months, did your mom develop the fear of flying last night? It depends on your relationship with your family, but if people told me that after of months of saying they would come I would be pissed.

Yes, your marriage is the most important thing, but your reaction is reasonable given the situation. I would be losing my shit if I were you, so good for you for staying calm!

What happens if you cancel the wedding, move it, then they still can’t come? Personally, I would keep the DW and have a party when you get back. Some people might change their minds.

PS. I don’t think a one sided wedding would be awkward. They’re your family now too! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
6032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

winterwoodlandbride15:  I can’t agree with you that scheduling or fear of flying are shitty reasons to not attend a destination wedding. When you plan any wedding, you know that you will be asking guests to give up a certain amount of their free time to attend; with a destination wedding, the amount of time the guest must invest is significantly higher.  If someone’s work schedule changes, or perhaps their company leave policy changes, they may not be able to dedicate the many days needed to get there, attend the wedding, and get back. Maybe they are facing limited leave time and having to choose between having their own vacation and attending the DW.  The one being shitty is not the guest; it’s the bride who has no empathy for the guest, especially after the bride has basically asked the guest to make significant sacrifices to attend.

As for fear of flying, while I personally love to fly, I know how many people find it terrifying, especially when it comes to the puddle jumpers and turbo-props that are often used between the US mainland and the USVI.  Scared is scared and it’s entirely predictable that some folks might be too fearful to want to fly, even for a family member’s wedding.  Have a little empathy.

Post # 14
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Horseradish:  It’s not that they may be scared to fly, I HATE flying, it’s terrible. It’s that it wasn’t an issue for the last 6 months, and now is all of a sudden a problem.

As for scheduling, you’re right, it depends on what the conflict is. Just seems fishy everyone was a go, then all of a sudden EVERYONE cancels together the same night. Hmmm.

Post # 15
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

CarribeanBridetoBe:  I had a terrible fear of flying, until I went to my doctor and she perscribed an anti-anxiety for when I fly. It helps SO much. I no longer worry when I get on the plane because I can relax. I cannot imagine getting married without my mom. Could you suggest she go to a doctor to help her fly?

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