Post # 1
I know that sounds terrible, but I’m getting down about Christmas. It’s our 5th one together. We had an extensive ring/marriage talk in early November and he even suggested that I send him some pics and go try some on to see what I like (my friend has been wanting to do this for a while). So I did. I never brought it up after that because our discussion covered everything I needed to know.
NOW, Christmas is 2 days away and I really don’t have it in me to pretend I’m excited about any other gift. THEN to be dragged all over the state to see his family, then my family and act happy all day. I’ll be so deflated. THEN I have to return to work, where everyone will be wondering if I’m engaged yet (I’ve been with him longer than most of the married women I work with….)
How do you guys plan on faking a happy reaction when you’re really crushed on the inside? Lots of booze?? haha.
Post # 3
Booze could definitely take the edge off! But…try to remember that you are with your SO for a reason -because he’s awesome. He is your future husband and when the proposal comes, it will be fantastic!
Post # 4
I have my plan all worked out if I dont get my ring lol. I just picture in my head what his face would look like if I looked disappointed on Christmas morning. Just picturing the sadness in his face would be too crushing for me to bear. I know he always puts alot of thought into his gifts, so I couldn’t make him feel horrible because I was expecting something different.
Post # 5
If you figure that out let me know I’d like a lesson as well! I’m in the same boat. Last I knew I was getting a t-shirt of some kind. Not that I don’t love anything SO gives me as it isn’t the gift but the thought.
Post # 6
Let me know when you figure it out so I can fake better next year! haha Maybe if you try to convince yourself that you don’t actually want it to be on Christmas then you won’t look disappointed? When you go back to work perhaps you could act surprised that people would think he would propose on Christmas? For me it’s always harder dealing with the people who thought it would happen then explaining to them. Good Luck!
Post # 7
Just figure you aren’t going to get a ring for christmas. Just accept the fact that it isn’t going to happen, convince yourself it won’t happen. On new years last year I had a moment when I got really excited thinking maybe Fiance would propose that night but I quickly put it out of my head saying that there was no way that was going to happen… So then when it did I was genuinely surprised and if it hadn’t happened I certainly wasn’t expecting it so I would have been fine. 🙂
Post # 8
@KJM2013: OMG this is so me! After SO leading me on for months thinking that he’s got something about the ring on his phone and that I will be able to see it around Christmas, he turns around and says that we can’t get engaged yet because we don’t make enough. Ugh! He knows I’ve had my hopes up for this ring! Seriously it’s the only thing I wanted! My friends say that I should be thankful for what I have and that I have SO. I will be thinking about this as I open gifts.
Post # 9
I’m in the same boat!
I have been told not to expect a Christmas proposal and I know I’m just getting a gift voucher. Not that I don’t love gift vouchers but honestly I hate getting them from SO because I feel like it’s a cop out gift.
Oh well. I hope he enjoys the amazingly thoughtful (and expensive) present I’m getting him!
Post # 10
I second the booze idea, everythings awesome if your kind of drunk…..not too drunk though because then you might let it slip as to why your dranking in the first place.
Post # 11
Just think about why you like the holidays in general, and be excited for that. Try to make it about the magical feeling of the holiday you have loved from before you were waiting!
Post # 12
@KJM2013: Sorry i appreciate all the comments of “oh your with your SO for a reason and the proposal with come” blah blah lol. But i am in the same boat and i KNOW that does not help.
Honestly i dont plan on hiding my disappointment much. I dont see why us girls have to sit around and feel anxious and depressed because we’re waiting for the proposal and they get away free.
I have a HORRIBLE feeling my SO bought me diamond earrings. As lovely as that would be…i will probably ask if there is a matching ring. I did not ask for diamond earrings. I asked for a life long committment. We went shopping in November and he knows what i want. He knows its upsetting me. He knows the holidays are hard being a girlfriend again. So smarten up!
Ugh i am sooo with you. I will be miserable and probably drunk and i dont care. lol
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
@Rush1986: Although I don’t think the guys have the same anxious experience because they’re in control, the guys don’t get off totally free. I know my SO feels bad because he can’t make my engagement dreams come true for Christmas and he tells me all the time it makes him feel so awful to see me so upset about not being engaged yet, but that it will all be worth it when the time comes and that he has a really good plan. Sometimes it can be hard to realise but the proposal is about the guy too. Yes, I’m finding it really really really hard to wait, but I don’t want to make the experience miserable for my SO. This is something special for me, but it’s also something equally special for him.
I’m definitely disappointed that I’m not getting a ring this Christmas (it’s our fourth one together and I’ve been waiting for a ring for almost two years), but it’s not fair for me to put a damper on his Christmas or my family’s Christmas, just because I didn’t get a ring. Besides, if he proposes in a few weeks I don’t want to look back and think of how miserably I acted at Christmas.
I think the best thing to do is just focus on why you love being together during the holidays (especially how great and relaxed it was before you were waiting). Think about all the other surprises you’ve gotten over the years and focus on how when the proposal does come it’ll be the best surprise of them all and 94938498x better because you’ve been waiting for what seems like forever!
Post # 14
I know exactly how you feel, 5 xmases for us too. I like the drinking idea and I’ll be trying not to think about the possibility of him proposing on xmas… It’s better not to try to get my hopes up so I’ll feel less crushed, hope that it’s a good xmas no matter what for you two!
Post # 15
Thanks for all of the feedback. I’ll keep you guys posted. Have a great Christmas, Bees!
Post # 16
This is precisely why I don’t like traditional engagements. It’s completely unfair that one partner, so often men, are the ones who ultimately make the decision. Even when marriage has been discussed, and perhaps even the ring and the wedding specifically, to have to hold your breath and wish and hope…it bothers me greatly.
Of course, I realize many women would have it no other way. I can certainly respect that, and I’m simply sharing my opinion.
As to how to handle this, I say make it happen this year. Ask him to marry you. 🙂