Help! Not sure who to tip!!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who did you tip?
    Hair and Makeup : (13 votes)
    29 %
    DJ : (7 votes)
    16 %
    Photographer : (3 votes)
    7 %
    Extra for servers at Venue : (4 votes)
    9 %
    Venue Coordinator : (3 votes)
    7 %
    Shuttle Driver : (6 votes)
    13 %
    Ceremony Guitar player (close friend) : (3 votes)
    7 %
    Videographer : (3 votes)
    7 %
    Reverend : (3 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    691 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I need this information too! Martha Stewart is saying 20% of the catering bill to the servers and that is like 2000 dollars!!

    Post # 4
    Member
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    You haven’t included the type of poll where people can vote for multiples.

    My rule of thumb is: I only tip when the person isn’t the owner. So, if the hair/makeup lady works for herself, then you don’t need to tip b/c she’s making the entire amount herself. I usually still tip them about $5-10 anyway because I feel uncomfortable not tipping, but you really don’t have to. I would say same goes for DJ/Photog – did you hire a company or did you hire the DJ/Photog himself?

    As for the venue, I think you need to tip the venue and they’re supposed to tip out to the servers, I’m not really sure but I would assume that’s how it works.

    Post # 7
    Member
    691 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Orchd12:  my venue coordinator stated that the 20% service charge was the tip, but then after I signed the contract the same coordinator sent me an email saying that the tip was not included. I was furious!! I think I am tipping 3 dollars a plate. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    560 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I made sure my DOC tipped our DJ and bartenders at the beginning of their shift .  Not sure if doing so made a difference in anything but everyone was amazed at how fast drink service was sbd how strong the drinks were pouRed.  Also Dj was amazing , everyone danced and we got a ton of compliments on his performance .  Our DJ came up at end of night and said how much he liked our style (of tipping lol.) I only tipped shuttle driver , our personal servers( wish I hadent though) and the hair/makeup people.  The doc owns her own business and frankly didnt do much for me before or during and venue coordinator ruined my wedding planning experience bc she’s a horrible person so didnt tip them.  I personally didnt tip photog or video bc they own their own businesses and we werepaying   an insane amount as it was. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @aicila:  You should email them back and tell them that that’s not what they said when you booked the venue and clarify with them in advance. An 18% service charge certainly sounds like a tip to me! I wouldn’t tip the DJ or photog b/c they work for themselves or the venue b/c to me, a service charge in that amount is a tip already.

    I would probably tip the venue coordinator, depending on how much work she’s done for you – not a percentage, but like $10-20 or something and the shuttle driver.

    The reverend is supposed to get an invite to your wedding, I think a free meal at the end of the day is a tip enough.

    Are your hair and makeup people working for a company or for themselves? I would probably tip them if they did a really good job either way, honestly.

    So I vote to tip the hair/makeup people and the coordinator if you feel like they did a good job. Everyone else, I don’t think it’s necessary.

    Post # 10
    Member
    691 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @futuremrsk18:  venue coordinator is awful And she won’t even be our coordinator that day ( she coordinating another wedding that day, so someone I never met will be coordinating) . I am not planning on tipping her. All she did was take down what we wanted in regards to food. I venue is charging us a $100 a plate with a 20% service fee. 

    I know what to type everyone else. The coordinator just threw in a curve ball that I wasn’t expecting. 

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    6505 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We tipped the DJ, florist delivery person, cake delivery person, reverend, photographer, videographer, hair and make up artist, our shuttle driver, and the guy running the photo booth. For what it’s worth they all owned their own business except for the DJ and the hair and make up artist. I don’t think the ownership should make a difference when it comes to tipping. I know I have seen and heard that “rule” but I think that people should be tipped based on how they do rather than based on whether or not they own the business.

    Double check with your venue. A service charge is not always the same as a tip. If they are truly using the 18% as a service charge there is a chance that the servers and bar tenders won’t see any of that.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @aicila:  Ok, then no coordinator. I guess that means you’re just tipping hair/makeup.

    Post # 15
    Member
    560 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @Orchd12:  like I said we didn’t tip thst many vendors so we had more to spend, we gave each bartender 150 and Dj 150.  dj said it was extremely generous but since we live in south NJ (insanely expensive for weddings ) I thought thst it would be average.  

    Post # 16
    Member
    3806 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Orchd12:  We’re tipping hair and makeup artist 20% and the DJ 20%. The venue includes gratuity. We may tip the photographer AFTER we receive our photos but I don’t know – we’ve already paid $3900.

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