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Help on formal invitation addressing? Thanks!

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
  •  
    1.
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    ArtichokeHeart    10/17/09   NYC

    Hi there,

    So the FMIL wants to write Mr. and Mrs. John Thompson on all of the invites.  However, lots of our friends, as well as ourselves, prefer a more contempory approach, where the wife is not listed as necessarily encompassed within the husband's name.  For example, I'd like to do, instead:

    Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Thompson

    Is this a formal and acceptable alternative?  How are other folks doing this?  I'm happy to let the FMIL write it how she wants for her friends, but for the FI's and my friends, we'd like to modernize it up.

    Thanks!

     
    2.
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    361 posts
    Helper bee
    sarsk624    9.5.09   Philadelphia

    That is not considered "acceptable." Although, my family and I are of the same feelings while my FILS were not. We went with Mr. and Mrs. John Smith for those who preferred and John and Jane Smith for those who did not.

     
    3.
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    BW4606      

    The (old-fashioned, arguably lame) rule is that you never "seperate" the man's first and last names.  So, if you wanted, it'd be a little better to put Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith.

     
    4.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    2,280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    dorsay    August 2009  

    I wrote a post that probably won't help you, but has a few good resources linked in it. http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/06/22/horrorifics/

     I personally think that a woman shouldn't have to be known by her husband's name alone - and Emily Post agrees! She says it's alright to address each half of the couple.

    http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/forms_of_address.htm

    good luck!

    I also linked the crane blue book and a few helpful practical wedding posts in there.

     
    5.
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    Bee
    882 posts
    Busy bee
    powderpuff    July 11, 2009   Chicago

    I agree with the others. This doesn't really work. It kinda makes the man look like he has no last name.

    I like John and Jane Smith.

    Also:

    Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith

    Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith (woman's name is always first when listed separately).

    Check out this post on A Practical Wedding for help:

    http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2009/02/addressing-wedding-invitations-and.html

    I hope this helps! This is a tricky topic.

     
    6.
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    ArtichokeHeart    10/17/09   NYC

    Thank you so very much!  My FI and I just checked back, and the right answers were right here, and...moving on to the next task!  Thanks!

     
    7.
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    514 posts
    Busy bee
    lisalulu    September 19, 2009   Santa Barbara,CA

    I put both my mother's name and my fmil's name on my invitation. Then the calligrapher charged extra to include female names for addressing the invitations and I folded. :( I just went the other way because of economy. That's wrong, I know. It's time to modernize it up. I should have started with my calligrapher who charged extra for that and threw a fit. :(

     

     

     

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