Post # 1
So we are just finishing up sending out our Save the Dates and….we keep getting emails and texts from friends from various stages of our lives asking when they are getting their Save The Date. In addition, some of our friends are already asking if they can bring a date.Our wedding venue only holds 220 and we already have sent 245 STDs. I have a very large family and allowing our single friends to bring dates is just not an option. Anyone experience people inviting themselves to your wedding? I would NEVER invite myself or expect to be invited to someone’s wedding. I just think it is so rude and I’m struggling with how to handle it. My fiance and I are kind of pushovers so that doesn’t help the situation. Sorry I just needed to vent!
Post # 3
We had a few people ask if they were invited. I promptly told them no if they weren’t. Others I wasn’t sure of at the beginning, and told them also that if there was room they would be but I couldn’t make any prmises.
It’s really rude of anyone to ask so don’t feel bad being blunt back and telling them no.
Post # 4
If you are using FB then you can post a message due to the size of the families attending it is unfortunate but you will not be able to invite all of our friends. Please understand this is not being done to exclude you we just dont have the room.
Please accept our sincere apology for not inviting everyone we know.
HOPE THIS HELPS…BIG HUG
Post # 5
It is very rude to assume you are invited without receiving an invite or save the date. You are well within your rights to tell them you do not have space to accommodate everyone, due to your huge family.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I would just ignore it, and don’t lead anyone on. However I have to ask WHY you would send 245 STDs for a venue that can only hold 220. Does that mean that 245 PEOPLE got STDs or you sent 245 cards??
Post # 7
It’s definitely an uncomfortable situation. If I were you, I would decide on a common strategy together with your FI. A standard answer in the line of “Unfortunately not. We’re focusing on family, and we’re limited in terms of the venue”.
Post # 8
@MrsDeLovely: Be honest but not rude.. Explain that budget is limited and IF they get a save the date they will know they are invited. As far as the guests.. again be honest. Our budget does not allow us to add +1’s. HTH
Post # 9
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@MrsDeLovely: A) These people aren’t inviting themselves, they’re asking if they’re invited – which is rude of them to do
B) You can’t invite more people than your venue can hold.
If you sent 245 STDs did they go out to couples and families…. because in my mind that means you invited 490 people or more!!
It’s up to you who you invite, I didn’t respond to a lot of people that said things like that.
Post # 10
Oh man that sucks. I would hate that if it happened to me. Just tell everyone there’s a space issue and your venue just can’t fit everyone and tell them if you can squeeze them in then you will but no promises.
Post # 11
justbe honest but polite…. something like ‘i wish we could invite everyone but its just impossible with our families’
for the guests i would stick yo same type speech plus add something like ….it was so hard bc of numbets but we hope you will.still.be able to join us
Post # 12
Ugh we are both pushovers as well and are having the same problem!
Post # 13
Just tell them respectfully “Im really sorry, we both have huge families and decided to only invite our very closest friends. We would have loved to invite everyone, but we have a limited budget. Please dont take it personally, as we wish we could afford for more friends to come”
Post # 14
OMG. This is too funny! This happened to me too and I think it’s truly bizarre. We are in this massive group message on FB with a bunch of OLD friends from college. Neither of us actually write in the thread but we get all the other messages. Anyway, people wrote on that thread about where we should have our wedding (AND WHEN) so that we could have a reunion. I read that and thought, SO AWKWARD, we already mailed our STDs and NONE of you were invited!
Anyway, I’m sorry that this is happening to you. SO annoying and awkward. I would say, don’t worry about it and just say no. Say that your sorry but that you both have large families and that there just isn’t enough space.
Update us on what you do because I’ll be curious as to how your situation turns out! Good luck!
Post # 15
a friend asked over fb if she could bring a date. When i didn’t respond asap she sent me another message saying … too late i rsvp’d for 2!!
Post # 16
@Pink Asawa: omg THAT is rude i cannot believe that!!
Our venue also only holds 220 :S I’m just telling people we are concentrating on our family because its so big