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Okie dokie...I admit up-front that I am an idiot and the whole "28 days" thing escaped my mind when thinking about my period/honeymoon/wedding planning.
My fiance and I don't want to use the birth control pill, and will be using the fertility awareness method instead. That was fine and dandy with me until I started my period yesterday, 4 days earlier than anticipated. When talking with a friend last night about the whole 28 days thing, I realized I am now schedule to start ON MY WEDDING DAY in less than 2 months.
I'd really like to know what options I have, other than messing with birth control, which is all I can seem to find info about. Anyone have any other ideas of how to start my period early so I can be done in time for the wedding/honeymoon? Any old wives tricks, or brilliant ideas otherwise?
I'm a virgin and really want the wedding night and honeymoon to be special - not a messy affair. PLEASE help.
Oh bummer. I have the same situation happening here. We are getting married September 5 and going to Mexico on the 9th. I'm scheduled to start on the 5th. :( I got birth control to change it, I don't really know of any other way, but I'd like to know if you find out.
I bumped mine using BC pills, which I've been on for a quite some time now. :( Can you call you OB/GYN to ask about what options you might have?
Just a warning, BC usually takes about 3 to 4 months to regulate your body. So you might not be able to use that method.
Before I started taking BC, stress used to knock me out of whack, and I used to be fairly regular. With wedding plan there is no lack of stress, so maybe next month it will switch on you again.
Are you charting your cycle? If you are planning to use FAM you need to be writing this stuff down to get a handle on your basic pattern. You may not have a 28-day cycle, so counting out 28-day increments might not be appropriate for you.
NSAIDs (non-streroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, like Aleve and Ibuprofen) can impact the severity and duration of your period. So you might not be able to move it without hormones, but you may be able to mitigate how bad it is.
I was unaware that you could change your cycle without hormonal intervention.
If you don't believe in BC, you might be up a creek without a paddle. But, if you are OK using it to deter your period, a shot is typically the most effective way to stop your period asap. Unless of course your uterine lining has built up enough, then, no matter how many hormones are in, sometimes it just has to shed itself. Or, it can also get so thin it just sheds all the time.
Good luck. As far as I know, stress is a major factor in periods. But, if you delay your actual period and you are actually ovulating, you could get false readings.
Your OBGYN might have some tricks, but I'm not aware of any. Condoms would be less messy, but then again, I think those are in the same category as birth control if you are Catholic. Depending on your flow, it really COULD be a big messy thing, too. Take caution; you don't want your bed to look like a crime scene. Sorry if that's TMI, but I get really self conscious about what housekeepers see of my bedding and with as heavy of a period that I have. Once i started in my sleep and bled all over my sheets and i was SO embarassed. =(
If you've been keeping track of your periods regularly, try this site:
It helps you determine the variations you may have. For example, I vary anywhere from 28 to 35 days and I make extra notes during the month and find that months that I frequently mark "stressful" days tend to be the months in which im at 34-35 days.
Might not be much of a help so close to your wedding, unless you actually remember or have written down details.
I use FAM because BC pills scares the heck out of me. I used to think my schedule was irregular, then I realized that it was just longer than the "average." So it would occur a little later in the month every month, moving all over the calendar as time went on. Write down the day you got your period and start counting, you may be pleasantly surprised!
Don't worry. Even if it's a little messy, it will still be special! You've got the rest of your lives for that sort of thing, after all. ;)
(BTW, you can wait 2-3 days until the heavy flow is over, then put a towel down. Less mess, easy clean up.)
Thanks, ladies :)
@Starburst - That site is helpful in figuring me out, although not-so-helpful in telling me a different date than I expected...
@ejs4y8 - Can the OB/GYN give just one shot closer to wedding time to throw my schedule off? I'm not familiar with how birth control shots work. Also, how long are the chemicals in your system then? We're OK with condoms, so we're already planning on doing that, but right now I'm fairly desparate to not be dealing with the actual period that week.
To make matters even more fun, I've never been a tampon user...Sorry if that's too much info :) For our beach adventure, that could prove to also be a major problem. *sigh* This could be a really interesting honeymoon...
Maybe a diaphragm could be an option...? That may be difficult to use if you've never been a tampon user, but you have some time to get used to it. Even if you have your period, then I believe using a diaphragm can "hold things off" for a few hours while you're having fun...in addition to being a birth control method.
I don't know much about birth control shots, but I would imagine that getting one just to stave off your period would not be the best idea. I would call your doctor to discuss different options.
Also, on the tampon front...if there's not a medical reason you can't use them, two months is definitely enough to get used to using them. As someone who just walked her younger sister through doing this, please feel free to PM me if you need advice :o)
no sure if this well be helpful or not ... but I did find some articles on using meditation and positive thinking to help control your own body. You could look into that!
Just a heads up, but regardless of period or not, your wedding night can still be a little messy :p Many times a woman will bleed after she has sex for the first time. Not always (I didn't), and some more than others, but it's a possibility. For whatever reason, that's not something I ever learned in school and took me awhile to learn, so just thought I'd throw that out there...
You can try birth control just for now. I never did the shots, but my pills regulated me from day one without any spotting or anything. If you don't want to use hormonal birth control, you'll just have to stick it out! I've heard of some "home remedies" that can change your flow, but I would be extremely cautious about trying any of them because things that mess with your body like that are often bad for you (pills on the other hand, are quite regulated). It's just like how women will take castor oil (without a doctor or midwife's supervision) to try to induce labor, but it causes horrible diarreaha and sometimes the baby is born way too quickly, often while the mother is USING the bathroom which is of course totally unsafe. That's why I'm leary of home remidies that mess with the body's functions
I'd definitely not do a shot right before the wedding as it can take some time to filter into your body. for me, it worked best riht after my period, when my uterus was basically empty
it's good for 3 months unless there is a shot i'm not aware of
if this is a one time only thing definitely ask your obgyn what you can do as it's better to start NOW than later b/c sometimes bc can make you sick and you have to switch types
The pill is generally more quickly reversed than the shot, and the shot has more side effects and spotting than the pill on average. Your--and everyone else's--specific mileage with either may vary. You could start birth control pills now, take the first pack as intended with a placebo period, and then start the second pack, and keep taking active pills until the last day of your honeymoon. Although there's no guarantee that you won't spot, it'll most likely work fine from day 1. I usually go months (once I even went almost two years) without a period or spotting. I never had any side effects from the pill--I love the damn things, but side effects often decrease with time, and if they're unbearable, they would stop within days of you stopping the active pills. The shot persists in your body for at least 3-4 months.
I don't know of any reliable non hormonal methods. You can go right back to NFP immediately after your period (which would happen a few days after your honeymoon if you stopped the last day of it), as many people regain fertility immediately (but again, your mileage may vary). The pill rocks for period control.
find some ladies with the cycle you like and hang out with them for a month or 2 
Worked in my college apartment.
@ Melissabegins - Haha, what a funny suggestion. How do you go about finding THOSE friends? Facebook ad: "Looking for some fun, strongly-pheremoned ladies who start menstruating consistently around the 10th of the month. Please contact ASAP for fun times and friendship."
I'd love to see what kind of responses that would get ;)
As far as the pill - If I was to start, say next week, after the end of this period, could I then just go a month and a half, do a full cycle of pills and then truncate the second month and take the sugar pills the week before the wedding, thus starting my period and coming off BC before the honeymoon? Does that sound logically like it would work?
Thanks for all the suggestions, ladies! I know ultimately that it will be something my sweet FH and I will decide together, but it's great to have some more savvy knowledge under my belt before that conversation!
The pill usually takes about 3 months to get everything all regulated. And you really have to take the pills in the "correct" way (3 weeks of hormones, 1 week of sugar pills) to get your body in sync. I would not recommend taking them for a month and a half and then coming off of them. You would end up probably spotting and such and in a worse situation than you are in now. Just my opinion.
I would definitely think about talking to your OB/GYN (if you have one). Also, as other ladies said, your cycle might be a bit off kilter because of stress and wedding planning (and even being nervous about the wedding night!) I also agree with others that if your period is relatively light on your wedding night, you could definitely go ahead with your "plans." Condoms will keep things a little cleaner for your FH and as pp mentioned, you may bleed anyway bc it is your first time. (I personally didn't, but I had also participated in several "activities" prior to then)
fromctov - I bet you with a little sleuthing, you can find that on the web! :-P
Good luck to you. My vote would be, unfortunately, to get on BC and skip the placibo weeks. I just did that for the first time this past month and it worked surprisingly well. They have their drawbacks and implications, but people get BC prescribed for lots of things, including acne, regulating or lessening a heavy period, whatever. You can stop taking it as soon as possible and be just fine.
Hmm, honestly, I can't think of any other way to control your cycle except with BC. I think you have a tough decision to make: either make an appointment with an obg/yn to discuss BC options, or just risk it and hope that stress/diet, etc. will change your cycle.
But you'll have to make a decision soon, because you'll want to start the BC as soon as possible to get used to it before your wedding. Not really get used to it so much as let it work itself out (sometimes, spotting can occur, but I've never had any side effects).
Planned Parenthood would be a great place to go to discuss your options. They have all kinds of affordable plans where sometimes they won't require an exam to get the pills (you'll have to have an exam to continue with the pills after a certain amount of time, though).
I'm on the pill, so for me, it would be an easy choice :) Especially on your honeymoon, you'll want to have sex for the first time without mentrual blood. Having your period won't ruin your honeymoon, but I suspect it would put a damper on it a little.
Good luck with whatever you decide! Just be sure it's the right choice for you.
Even using BC pills doesn't always work. I have never been able to successfully do this.
Please talk to your OB/GYN as soon aspossible! I am sure she can help you devise a safe plan for this. If your flow is heavy, it would be a real bummer to have your period on your wedding day and honeymoon! It might be worth a short foray into BC land for that - there are many low dose pills out there that are great. You can actually go on a pill that will allow you to skip your periods all together for a few months - and then after the honeymoon you can return to normal!
ALSO, your doctor would want to start you on BC right when this period ends - so if you wait too long, it will likely be another month and then you won't have much time for your body to adjust and it might not work...
@CtoV I did almost exactly what you tried with truncating a pill cycle to move my period for my wedding. I didn't mention it before because I thought you didn't want to use bc pills at all. But doing this worked for me.
I didn't even bother to do a whole first month. I started the pill right after my period ended (which was as soon as I could get it, otherwise I would have started on day 1) and took it for two weeks, and then quit in the middle of the pill cycle, around day 21 (where your period beginning is day 1). I got my period a few days after quitting the pill and everything reset. I got my period two weeks before the wedding instead of on my wedding day, just as I had hoped.
If you're charting your body temperature as part of the FAM, know that the hormones can linger in your body and make your temps artificially high, which could make you think it was okay to have unprotected sex when it's not really. So after you're done the short pill cycle, make sure you've returned to normal and that you've got a handle with what's going on in your body before you have unprotected sex based on FAM. You will have garnered no pregancy prevention from the pill but it will have hopefully moved your cycle. PM me if you've got more questions....this isn't an "official" method but I worked it out on my own and it worked for me.
Ugh, I forgot about this part when FI and I decided to get me off the pill (I have been artificially hormonally regulated for the last 10 years!). I have no idea if I'll have my period or not for the honeymoon, so I'm glad that we haven't waited (there was no reason for us to) and that we're not spending our honeymoon on the beach. ;)
I can't offer any medically sound advice, but if you really want to make sure you don't get your period on your wedding day, I'd get a three-month prescription now, fill it immediately, and take an active pill everyday until you get back from the honeymoon. You'll have to talk to your doctor about the best birth control pills to allow you to skip periods (some kinds will work for that, and other kinds will not or might even make you sick). Your doctor might suggest Seasonique or one of those types; I don't recommend them--I spotted (almost as heavy as my actual period) for two months straight on it. I took Cryselle and just skipped the placebo pills if I needed to (not more than a couple of times a year.
I don't think that stopping taking the pills before the wedding so that you get your period before the wedding is a good idea. I used to get my period after taking the placebo for four days, when I'd already started active pills again, so there is no guarantee that you'll just start bleeding the day you stop the active pills.
"As far as the pill - If I was to start, say next week, after the end of this period, could I then just go a month and a half, do a full cycle of pills and then truncate the second month and take the sugar pills the week before the wedding, thus starting my period and coming off BC before the honeymoon? Does that sound logically like it would work?"
Caution: You are better off extending rather than truncating. When you take fewer than 21 days of active pills in a row, you may be at risk for becoming pregnant. Furthermore, there's no guarantee you will get a "period"/withdrawal bleed after taking only 14 days of active pills. However, extended cycles are proven to be safe and effective (see Seasonale). There's no guarantee you won't spot, but by my calculation you'd only need to take four weeks (28) active pills in a row, which is not very many.
I know that NFP can be effective, but the pill can throw off some of the fertility awareness signs that you use. The truncated cycle followed by reliance on NFP immediately after having your hormones controlled by the pill could be a recipe for an unplanned pregnancy.
If taking the one week extension of pills during your honeymoon is unacceptable to you for religious reasons, I'd urge you to not mess with your cycle at all, unless not having your period that week is more important to you than not getting pregnant. Please, please talk to your OB/GYN.
Thanks so much for all of the advice, Bees! I made an appointment with my doctor, so I'll discuss my options with her and see what she recommends. I appreciate all the wisdom and helpful hints about how to avoid this most-untimely event at my wedding :)
also, raspberry leaf tea works to induce my period a few days early, so this may be an option.
start taking it daily two weeks before your period is due and it may make it come early enough to avoid the wedding and honeymoon.
Not exactly a suggestion of what to do, but some reassurance, I guess: I was sceduled to start mine a few days after my wedding and due to (I think) the stress of the last few weeks of planning, losing some additional weight, and generally just a crazy month, I ended up starting about 10 days late! (pretty unusual for me) So you never really know, getting married is a crazy life-changing event that can definitely affect your menstrual cycle.
You don't want to use birth control for a month and come off it. The month after you stop BC, you are supposed to be more fertal than usual. Also, I don't think the Dr. will let you do that. I think they give it to you in increments of 3, after you regulate on it you can skip the sugar pill week, and go straight to the next pack. Bam! No period. That's what I did when we went on Vacation wen my FSIL got married.
Other than that I can't think of a lot of options for you.
Oh, and tampons are awesome! I haven't used them since I started the pill (my flow is too light) but if you get them in right you can't even feel it!
One thing I haven't seen mentioned here yet is the option of a Diva Cup. I've never used them before, but they are menstrual cups that work differently than tampons. According to the site, you can have sex while they're in without having to worry as much about the mess. It might be worth looking into!
Good luck!
@ saramari -- I use a Diva Cup, which is fantastic, but I don't think there's any way you could have sex with one in. Maybe you're thinking of Instead? I know of people who have used Instead and said it works great for those purposes, but when I tried Instead, I had terrible problems with the cup slipping out of place. So I never even bothered trying sex while wearing one...could certainly be worth a try, though.
MelissaBegins - that's hysterical. And so true. Even with BC I was all messed up due to my roomies in college. I actually had to stop and restart BC so that I wasn't fighting their cycles anymore! I wonder who was leading the way on that one...
Just wanted to give a follow-up! I went to the la doctora yesterday and she gave me 3 months of LoSeasonique, so I'm good to go for a while on that!
I finished my last period last Wednesday (almost a week ago) and I'm not sure if I should start today with the pill, or wait until after my next period to start. FI is a little worried about me having the hormones in my system for longer than necessary, so had mentioned waiting until my Sept. cycle was over, but I know she mentioned break-through bleeding and spotting at the beginning. So I'm worried about only having a month of it in my system before my body thinks it's time for another period (honeymoon week) and experiencing break-through bleeding.
I know I should have asked her yesterday, but these were questions that came up post-appointment! Have any of you used LoSeasonique? Good or bad experiences?
Thanks for all the tips - you guys have been so helpful already!
Sorry, I should mention that LoSeasonique is a pill that allows only 4 periods a year, therefore, if I start now and do the whole round, it will be November before I do the placebo pills and have a period again.
Call your doctor if you have questions!!
it does take our bodies some time to adjust though, so if you might as well start now. I would follow your doctor's advice. If you stay on for one full 3 month cycle, then it seems like you will do 3 months anyways, so might as well start now?
I don't understand why your FI is so involved in telling you what to do though.
Agree with Janna. Is there a reason that your FI is so "worried" about hormones being in your system? If he's concerned about you actually being on BC (for religion reasons or whatever) it sorta seems like you've already crossed that bridge...
I don't have anything new to add really, except to let you know that even if you can't do anything about your period, it is not the end of the world! People have sex on their period all the time, it is actually really good for relieving cramps. Throw a towel down on the bed before you start, or stick to shower sex. As far as swimming, tampons realy aren't hard to start using so maybe try them out this month and see if you can get used to them?
The pill worked for me and prevented me from having my period on the day of my wedding and honeymoon! If you're heavily against using the pill, you may want to talk to your OBGYN.
My fiance isn't telling me what to do, we're just discussing options together. We've chosen together to not do birth control, but we've also realized our idea of our first week together does not involve me being on my period, thus enter the pill. One of the reasons we're leery of BC is because I have dealt with mood swings and hormonal migraines a lot, and we've finally got it under control with diet and supplements, and we hesitate to throw BC into the mix, but we're going to for the sake of enjoying our honeymoon, period-free.
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