HELP PLEASE

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t even know either of you, but I started tearing up reading that!

No idea what you should do, but I hope whatever it is, it works out for the best!

Member
8154 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@wife05:  ((HUGS))  He wrote you a beautiful, heartfelt letter.  If you believe he’s being sincere, and he certainly sounds as though he is, would you be willing to give him one more chance?

I’ve been in your position before so I really feel for you.  You have to ask yourself some hard questions.  Do you still love him?  Do you want a life with him?  Can you forgive him and give him a chance to prove himself?

He sounds as though he really wants to change and knows  he needs to, and that’s the first step to a person being ABLE to change.  Most people never even get to that realization.  I believe he will do anything it takes to keep your love in his life.

I don’t know your history but I hope you’ll go with your heart.

I wish you all the best.

Member
1907 posts
Buzzing bee

We can’t tell you what to do, but I think I would keep doing what you are doing – the therapy and the occasional get togethers. Give him the chance to prove by his actions what he said in the letter,. Listen to him: Please don’t come home yet, I tend to make to many excuses for myself and I am scared that it what I will do if you forgive me right now. Give him time to work on changing and to prove himself, but don’t just give in and let life go back to how it was.

 

Member
511 posts
Busy bee

Tell your therapist for starters. He or she can help you sort through your emotions. You shouldn’t make any major decisions until you have some time to process this.

Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee

I cried reading that – it was so clearly straight from his heart. I agree that you should listen to your gut – which must tell you there is something worth saving if you went to therapy to try and save things to begin with. I looked at your earlier posts, and it seems that the problem was mostly him, and that he is now aware of it, which, in my opinion, is HUGE. The next step is for him to work on changing for the better, and it sounds that he is going to try his hardest. I wish you both the best – you sound like quite the livewire, and he sounds like a man coming to his senses and appreciating you.

Keep us posted – yours is the first post that has shown me counseling can do some good!

Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee

Only YOU know if this marriage is worth fighting for or not. The letter is a good sign, I think a very good sign. But actions speak WAY more than words. If it was me, I would probably give him another chance IF he continues going to therapy and IF he really does make an effort to change. But it’s not me. What is your gut telling you (besides it’s time to vomit???)? Best of luck!!!

Member
342 posts
Helper bee

@wife05:  I would give my relationship with my husband another shot if he left me this letter. Vows are for better or worse- maybe you’ve seen the worst and it’s time to see the better. I would go into it expecting nothing but be willing to accept everything. I think giving it another shot after you’ve already taken the necessary steps ( counseling and seperating) will give you peace one way or another.

Member
3714 posts
Sugar bee

That made me cry, HARD.  My husband was quite possibly the world worst’s boyfiend.  There were times I was sure that he not only didn’t love me, but in fact hated me.  It was a roller coaster.  When I finally had enough of all of his crap, he finally realized that I am amazing and that I love him far more than he realized.  He was repentant and changed.  Eight years later, we are married with two little girls and so happy.  It scares me to death, how close I came to walking away from this life that we now share. 

I see the same regret in his words that my husband expressed.  Please give him the chance to change, I think you will be so happy that you did.

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