- 2 years ago
Hi this might be lengthy I will try to boil it down, I raised my niece From age 13 her mother became mentally ill. I have always been heavily involved in her life since she was born, we had some regular tiffs when she was a teen nothing out of the ordinary, we were I thought very close. I moved away when she was 22 for my husbands job. She was all set up with her own place friends and boyfriend and is very independent.
A few years ago she mentioned getting married to her bf of many years I asked her if she could wait as we were moving back near her in about 8 months she said sure they weren’t even engaged it was just something they were talking about. I am still across the country from her as we did not move back when we thought we would. last sept she brought the subject up again I wasnt going to ask her to wait again. I instead offered to help in anyway possible picking out dress flowers venue anything she wanted, she wanted a Vegas wedding so we both searched online for venues while in the phone together ( which we were on the phone together on any givin day of at least 4-5 times a day, since I moved we took photos of when we were shopping “do u like this” sort of pics all the time) so being on the phone and shopping around for things was pretty normal for us.
About a week went by after we looked online for different venues she called me and said she bought her dress I was happy for her and couldn’t wait to see the pics , she sent them immediately. so dress being done I asked if I could buy the flowers, than things got really strange she said why buy them just send me money, i thought she was kidding but a few days later she perpusly called me and said ” I am with my mil to be and we are going flower shopping. I started crying ” she didn’t know ” but I wasn’t going to ruin anything for her since she was so happy.
I thought she really wanted us there so I called her and said we will figure out a way to be in Vegas on her wedding day, her response was ” why it’s just a quickie wedding and we kinda want it to just be us” so sortof a planned elopement. I found out that the chapel she chose had streaming live video so I told her I would pay for it and again she was asking why just send me money, so I asked her why do u just want the cash every time I bring up anything wedding related, she said because wedding are a sham and they cost to much and she would rather have a saving acct, pointing out the obvious that she was already paying for the dress and flowers chapel and everything else I offered to pay for ,if she had let me she wouldn’t have had to touch her savings. After that it’s was tense I had to talk on eggshells she was furious going on about how people put to much stock in a wedding, I had to stay quiet.
she called off the wedding a few weeks later because her fiancé family couldn’t be there, I was so sad for her and we talked about it a lot of when she could possibly reschedule.
4 months later I get a text message with a picture of her and her new husband leaving the exact chapel we had picked out. we spoke hours before her wedding and she lied and said she was going to work. I was speechless and sobbing I told her she looked pretty and kept it really light cause it was her wedding day. The next morning she texted me so what do you think ? I told her I was happy for her but she really hurt me and her mother , she said ” ok that’s fine ” . We havent spoken since. She posted tons of pics on Facebook with all of his family there no one from hers than she started with posts saying if u don’t like my way too bad for you. than removed us from her Facebook page. all of the family members on her side are confused and hurt as am I. I tried to talk to her in June and she hung up.
All iof this in the pretense of it’s my wedding I can do what I want.
I tried to be as unbiased as possible writing this , any advice would be helpfull, we were so close I am beyond baffled on what to next if anything.
- This topic was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by lamor.