Hi ladies, I really need some help.
I am 24 years old, my partner is 32. We have been dating for just over 7 years, living together for 6 years, brought a house 5 years ago, got engaged 10 months ago, and are due to be married in 7 months. And I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do.
We got together whilst I was still in high school. We were together the whole time I was at uni and he supported me financially. I feel like I need to say I also worked 2 – 3 jobs, whilst studying full time. He paid our rent & utilities, Everything else I contributed to.
After graduating I got a part time job in the field i studied and I loved it. But he pushed me to continue looking as it didn’t pay enough. I now work full time in a job which I also (luckily) love, but he still feels like I don’t earn enough. The issue I think that he sees employment as a means to an ends (you work to get Money), whereas I see it as a way to have personal fulfillment abd satisfaction as well. I work with disadvantaged people, and The nature of my job also means I work late a lot, and he just doesn’t understand this. I also have aspirations of returning to uni to do masters, which he has stated quite bluntly he does not support and would not allow.
I have always always always wanted to travel. I have never been overseas, and I feel that it’s really important that I do this before I have kids and really settle down. I know it’s not impossible to travelwith kids, but I worry that it would fall lower and lower on thr priority list, abd harder as the kids got older.
I’m starting to feel like I didn’t have the opportunity to explore and find myself in my early 20s.
As we get closer and closer to thr wedding date we are having more discussions than ever about our future. He wants kids ASAP, and tells me my dreams of travel are ridiculous. When I talk about wanting to experience things and explore cultures, he tells me it’s time to grow up and be responsible.
And I guess that’s what it comes down to, am I ready to be that married with kids grown up, or do I still have things I need to do?
But I am so scared. If we we’re to break up I would literally have nothing. Everything (including my car) is in his name. And going off how mean spirited his patents are, I actually think he would become quite mean and not allow me to have anything if we were to breakup. We also have a cat & dog which are mine, as he only tolerates them. And seriously who is going to take a homeless and broken hearted 24 year old with two pets??
In the other side of this, I am wondering if I am just having an extreme case of cold feet/ what ifs?? After all we have had 7 awesome years together, we have our happy home and life together. Am I just freaking out that I’m getting older and it’s time to be a grown up?
I am so confused. Ant words of wisdom, suggestions, similar stories would be really appreciated.