Post # 1
So me and my boyfriend of 3 yrs ( lived together for 2) have been shopping for an engagement ring. Hes not asked yet but he knows i wanted a specific ring 🙂
So anyway we got the ring and lately weve been under a lot of stress, where currently in the process of buying our first home and im unemployed. We have been arguing a lot and in an argument he said i pressured him into buying the ring and asking my father.
Now i dont really want him to ask because hes tainted the way i feel about it and im not excited at all.
He quite often says hurtful things but i dont no whether its the truth???
Post # 3
Aw you poor thing 🙁 I think you should sit down with your FI and tell him how he has made you feel, and ask him if he meant what he said. He might have just said it in anger ( I think we all say things we don’t mean when we’re angry) Try and keep your chin up, and make sure you talk to him and share your feelings. It might be because he’s stressed out, and he could have said it without meaning it.
Maybe to avoid things like that being said you guys could try and stay away from each other when you’re mad to avoid things from escalaiting.
Hope everything works out 🙂
Post # 4
@xdawnxc: Tell him that. Tell him what he said has made you feel un-excited about a proposal or the ring. Make it clear that you do not want the ring/proposal until he feels it’s what HE wants.
Don’t bother asking him if what he said was true. How can he possibly answer? Just make it really, really clear that you do not want (and will not accept) a proposal unless it is what he also wants. And tell him he has to want it 100%, for himself. This way, if he *was* feeling pressured, you let him get over that feeling without putting him on the defensive or proposing out of guilt. Then when he does propose you’ll know it’s genuine and it’ll be wonderful & super exciting.
Buying a house and being unemployed are two of the most stressful things you can go through, so hang in there! Maybe acknowledge that you’re fighting more bc of the stress, but ask him to be careful of what he says during fights…ask him to walk away & cool off rather than say hurtful things. But ask that in a seperate conversation to the engagement one!
Good luck with everything!!