(Closed) Help!! Please stop me from doing something I regret!!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Let it go and say, “Ok, thanks for letting me know”.  You can hash out the ugly details after the wedding if it still matters to you at that point.

Post # 4
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Just ignore it and don’t say anything.  If shes the type who likes to be the center of attention all it will do is give her more reason to believe she is the center of everyone’s world becase you guys are upset she backed out.  Don’t give her that satisfaction.  It sucks but telling her off won’t really make any difference to you or you sister, I’m sure she won’t change her mind and be back in.  She’ll feel worse about it if no one even acknowledges her absense. 

Post # 5
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with DG just say OK and move on – she can’t be much of a ‘Friend’ anyway so no need to waste your energy on someone so petty!!!!!

Post # 6
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I wouldn’t even respond or acknowledge her. I agree with Noelle – she’ll feel worse if she isn’t missed. 

Post # 7
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t even acknowledge her. Not even worth friending her. It’s too bad that your sister chose her in the first place.

Post # 8
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

DON’T respond angrily!!!  You’ll say thing you may regret.   And, honestly, it’s not your place to do so.

If you can, go hang out with your sister and let her vent, if she needs to. It’s too bad the BM couldn’t have been more upfront about things.  Confrontation does strange things to people and some handle it better than others.  It’s better she let it known NOW vs. letting any more time pass.  

I totally understand wanting to stick up for your sister … but let her fight her own battles.  And, be thankful you don’t have to deal with this gal as part of the wedding party anymore!!

Post # 10
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with everyone else, but would add that if you hold your tongue, you can also feel secure in knowing that you took the higher road. 

(This coming from someone who loses her temper easily, so I know how you feel!  I would want to let her have it, too!)

Post # 11
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would first console your sister as I’m sure she’s feeling pretty low at this point about the whole deal (and as MOH, it’s your duty!). Secondly, ignore the girl and her pettiness. She is vying for attention and by acknowledging her ridiculous behavior, she is getting the attention she craves (like small children, negative attention is better than no attention at all). Go on about your business and I would say don’t mention it again. You seem like you were prepared, thinking that this might happen, so it shouldn’t be too much of a shock (although how incredibly RUDE of her to do it publicly, on Facebook). I’m sure your sister’s wedding will be wonderful and you all will have less to worry about now that miss rude is out of the picture (last thing you and your sister need is to be chasing around a stray BM who can’t keep her stuff together or be ‘bothered’ to return calls).

I truly think that this turned out for the best, although I’m sure it certainly hurt your sister and upset you both. 

Good Luck,

-Bella

Post # 12
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have a younger sis so I know how you feel too.  I agree w/DG and other posters to let her be. 

Giving it to her on Facebook will not accomplish a thing.  One saying my grandma always told me was “don’t wrestle with a pig.  You’ll get all muddy and the pig will love it.”

Leave her alone.  Let it be all about her because when “finals” are over and it’s time for her wedding, who will stand up for her if she isn’t kind to her friends?  She may find herself standing alone. 

Give your sis a hug.   

Post # 13
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it’s great you’re willing to stand up for your sister like this, but like others said, it is kind of her battle. Just be the best MOH you can be–it sounds like you’re doing a pretty great job already! And you’re lucky she’s out now before she stresses you out too much on the wedding day 🙂

Post # 14
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Just know that your silence is probably driving the BM nuts. She probably expects a reaction out of you, so surprise her and take the high road.

And best of luck to you and your sister! It sounds like it will work out for the better.

Post # 15
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m a big sister and I totally get where you’re coming from, but this doesn’t involve you and you need to stay out of it.  It’s between your sister and her friend.

Post # 16
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

She’s insensitive, cowardly & an extremely selfish person… she responded via facebook?? I’d want to tell her to go to hell.

However, it’s never a good idea to do things in anger. Let it be. She burned the bridge that represented their friendship & she’ll have to live with that. Ignore her & just be the best MOH YOU can be to make up for her crappy attitude & actions.

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