HELP PLEASE.. What should I do? Should she no longer be a bridesmaid

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She’s due on your wedding date? I wouldn’t keep her as a bridesmaid, but not even because I’m selfish. I would be worried about her going into labour during the wedding and maybe ending up getting hurt! I think having her be an honourary bridesmaid and wear a different dress but same colour is a great idea, especially since you already talked to her about getting pregnant. Just tell her that that way she can still be a special part of your wedding, but if she has to miss all or part of it due to the baby it won’t be as stressful for you.

Post # 4
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@TexasTheta90:  You need to calm down and think about your BM. If she is due on your wedding it is unlikely that she can be a BM. Even if she hasn’t had the baby yet, she might be very uncomfortable. However, let her make the choice to either remain a BM or instead be an “honorary” or whatever.

But what you need to realize is that how many bridesmaids you, what they wear, if the numbers are even/uneven DOES NOT MATTER. It doesn’t change “your day” at all. AND let’s discuss something else for a minute – this isn’t “your day”. It’s your WEDDING day. It’s about you and the love of your life commiting to each other. That is what matters. So please, I know you want to rant and moan and be a brat. Fine. But now that it’s out of your system please try to think about what does matter.

Post # 5
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well, I think you have to remember that while your wedding is REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT to you, but maybe not so important to your friends (of course they are happy for you) but you can’t expect your wedding plans to dictate their lives. I understand how you feel and I would probably be annoyed by it also. 

I think you need to sit down and discuss with her and see how she feels. If she is due on your wedding day, she may not even make it to your wedding! I would bring up the cost of everything and she if shes okay with spending that money with a baby on the way + the possibility of not even attending. 

If she chooses not to be in the bridal party, or an “honorary” bridesmaid, make sure you still include her in the process in some way, as she seems like shes one of your good friends. Good luck! 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Your profile indicates that your wedding is already past….

Obviousously if she’s due on your wedding day it’s highly unlikely that she’ll be able to be a bridesmaid.  

In the heirarchy of life events, pregnancies trump weddings.  You need to drop this.  Saying “you know you are being selfish” does not make this sound any better. 

Post # 8
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@TexasTheta90:  If you are as truly happy for her as you claim to be, maybe you should hold off your wedding for a month so she’ll be a bit more svelte and can fit into the dress of your choice. Flag me for snark if you wish.

Post # 11
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it’s kind of weird she asked to be in your wedding while trying to get pregnant (knowing she would be due around the wedding date). I wouldn’t get into any discussions about she should have waited (you won’t win that argument), but I would definitely bring up the possibility that she may be uncomfortable or in labor at your wedding.

 

Otherwise, I’m sure a good seamstress/tailor would be able to make a skirt fuller on a dress in order to accommodate her belly.

Post # 13
Member
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry but why is your wedding more important than her having a baby?

Post # 14
Member
2042 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@TexasTheta90:  I agree with some of the PP there is a huge chance she wont be in your wedding now.  She could be in labor, on bed rest, who knows. 

Post # 15
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

We’ve had lots of talks about how It would mean so much to me, if she could wait a couple months to get pregnant and she did it anyways bc it is more important to her than my wedding :(“

Post # 16
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@TexasTheta90:  Asking your BM to put off trying to become pregnant for the sake of your wedding is beyond rude to me. This may be your time to shine, but for the entire planning process your friends need to put their lives on hold? You are just being a brat. Don’t be so set in your wedding ways that you can’t make a compromise! Because if you don’t you are going to have one hellish wedding day if something goes wrong. And something ALWAYS goes wrong.

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