Post # 1
I know I am bridezilla, but this is my day and I am trying to figure out how to keep it the way I’ve always dreamed…
So one of my bridesmaids just had a kid a year ago and told me she is trying for another one. She asked me if she could be in my wedding bc we have been good friends for 5 years, but I asked her if she was going to be pregnant at my wedding, said I didn’t care but since it was MY day I wanted to get the dresses I wanted for my bridesmaid and not have to get a different style bc she was pregnant. I DO NOT like the bridesmaids having different style dresses lined up.
I honestly wouldn’t care if she was pregnant as long as she wasn’t about to have the baby at my wedding, because I really want the number of bridesmaids I have right now & don’t want to have an odd number…I know selfish of me, but it is my day dang it
I realize things happen and life happens and am truly happy for her, but it hurts my feelings that she couldn’t wait like a couple months to get pregnant. AT LEAST SO she wasn’t due on my wedding date….Which she is due on my wedding day!!
She knew if she got pregnant a couple weeks ago that she would be due on my wedding and it hurts my feelings that she knew how much I wanted her there and just decided she didn’t want to wait to have a baby.
Should I just make her an honorary bridesmaid, have her in the same colors as my bridesmaids, but then ask someone else?
She has put me in a jam, bc everyone already knows I have already asked all my bridesmaids, and I dont want to hurt someone’s feelings by asking them after one dropped out.
I KNOW I am being selfish. I am truly happy for her that she is pregnant, but it’s like could she not wait just a month to get pregnant…:( Or atleast not TRY to get pregnant when she would be due on my day 🙁
We’ve had lots of talks about how It would mean so much to me, if she could wait a couple months to get pregnant and she did it anyways bc it is more important to her than my wedding 🙁
Post # 3
She’s due on your wedding date? I wouldn’t keep her as a bridesmaid, but not even because I’m selfish. I would be worried about her going into labour during the wedding and maybe ending up getting hurt! I think having her be an honourary bridesmaid and wear a different dress but same colour is a great idea, especially since you already talked to her about getting pregnant. Just tell her that that way she can still be a special part of your wedding, but if she has to miss all or part of it due to the baby it won’t be as stressful for you.
Post # 4
@TexasTheta90: You need to calm down and think about your BM. If she is due on your wedding it is unlikely that she can be a BM. Even if she hasn’t had the baby yet, she might be very uncomfortable. However, let her make the choice to either remain a BM or instead be an “honorary” or whatever.
But what you need to realize is that how many bridesmaids you, what they wear, if the numbers are even/uneven DOES NOT MATTER. It doesn’t change “your day” at all. AND let’s discuss something else for a minute – this isn’t “your day”. It’s your WEDDING day. It’s about you and the love of your life commiting to each other. That is what matters. So please, I know you want to rant and moan and be a brat. Fine. But now that it’s out of your system please try to think about what does matter.
Post # 5
Well, I think you have to remember that while your wedding is REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT to you, but maybe not so important to your friends (of course they are happy for you) but you can’t expect your wedding plans to dictate their lives. I understand how you feel and I would probably be annoyed by it also.
I think you need to sit down and discuss with her and see how she feels. If she is due on your wedding day, she may not even make it to your wedding! I would bring up the cost of everything and she if shes okay with spending that money with a baby on the way + the possibility of not even attending.
If she chooses not to be in the bridal party, or an “honorary” bridesmaid, make sure you still include her in the process in some way, as she seems like shes one of your good friends. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 7
Your profile indicates that your wedding is already past….
Obviousously if she’s due on your wedding day it’s highly unlikely that she’ll be able to be a bridesmaid.
In the heirarchy of life events, pregnancies trump weddings. You need to drop this. Saying “you know you are being selfish” does not make this sound any better.
Post # 8
@TexasTheta90: If you are as truly happy for her as you claim to be, maybe you should hold off your wedding for a month so she’ll be a bit more svelte and can fit into the dress of your choice. Flag me for snark if you wish.
Post # 9
@Tigerlilybride: Thanks for the advice, I appreciate your Kind words 🙂 I know I am sounding like a bad friend and someone said it isn’t “my day” it’s my “wedding day, blah blah whatever:) The point is We had talked about this before and she asked if she could be in my wedding and I know numbers don’t matter but, ya know….I want an even number that is one of the only things I know I wanted about my wedding! This is because pictures and how many friends I’ve always wanted in my wedding. 🙂
I agree I think I am going to talk to her about how I don’t know if it is not safe to make her stand up there if she is suppose to be going into labor and how I still want her to be a bridesmaid, but a honorary bridesmaid, in case she goes into labor on my wedding day and can’t make it….I don’t want to be stressed out last minute on my wedding bc she can’t be there or is going into LABOR..Uggh. It sucks so bad because I really really wanted her there with me and now for sure even if she is there she will only be able to stay a bit bc she will be ready to pop or have a newborn at home 🙁
Post # 11
I think it’s kind of weird she asked to be in your wedding while trying to get pregnant (knowing she would be due around the wedding date). I wouldn’t get into any discussions about she should have waited (you won’t win that argument), but I would definitely bring up the possibility that she may be uncomfortable or in labor at your wedding.
Otherwise, I’m sure a good seamstress/tailor would be able to make a skirt fuller on a dress in order to accommodate her belly.
Post # 12
@cbgg: My wedding date on my profile is not my actual wedding date, bc i don’t want my bridesmaid finding this…
Post # 13
Sorry but why is your wedding more important than her having a baby?
Post # 14
@TexasTheta90: I agree with some of the PP there is a huge chance she wont be in your wedding now. She could be in labor, on bed rest, who knows.
Post # 15
“We’ve had lots of talks about how It would mean so much to me, if she could wait a couple months to get pregnant and she did it anyways bc it is more important to her than my wedding :(“
Post # 16
@TexasTheta90: Asking your BM to put off trying to become pregnant for the sake of your wedding is beyond rude to me. This may be your time to shine, but for the entire planning process your friends need to put their lives on hold? You are just being a brat. Don’t be so set in your wedding ways that you can’t make a compromise! Because if you don’t you are going to have one hellish wedding day if something goes wrong. And something ALWAYS goes wrong.