Post # 1
Hi guys, this is going to be hard for me to write, so I am trying to keep it short as possible. Me and my FI do not have too many close friends, so we were figuring 2 bridesmaids and 2 grooms men.
I have a friend that I grew up with and is like my only true friend and she is SOO excited for our wedding. She is also friends with my sister (since her parents are best friends with mine, I guess you would consider us practically cousins) Anyways, my sister will be a bride maid as well. Me and my sister are not that close at all, I barely know her now 🙁 She is 2 1/2 years younger than me, but has gotten into the wrong stuff, and is going to rehab for at least 3-4 months and is leaving within a few days. I am very upset about the whole sistuation but would rather not give details. The other day she was asking me when I was goign to ask her to be my maid of honor and I told her I wanted to come up with a special way to ask and left it at that. The truth tho, is I dont know what to do, on one hand I know she will not be able to handle any of the responsihilityes a maid of honor has yet alone those of a brides maid, but I do want here up there with me, on the other hand I feel if I give her the title it will make her feel important and special and hopefiully help her in rehab and get over her problem. I know that you dont have to have a maid of honor but I want one, and I would like to have my friend as truly the maid of honor, but just give the title to my sister.
Does this make any sence? Im sorry if its confusing.
Post # 3
Well…I think you sort of stuck yourself with your sister by lying to her and saying you were planning a special way of telling her.
Post # 4
@peachacid: ehh I think your right, and I would love to have her, Im just worried that I may regret my choice if she doesnt stay clean.
Post # 5
Can you make her your maid of honor and explain it to your friend as you have here? I think your friend will understand the situation and will step up without the ‘title’. That way you will have your friend to help you and take on the role, but you don’t have to take back what you said to your sister.
Post # 6
@bella731: just pick your sister and avoid any drama. She’s blood. Plus, your friend can’t get upset at you choosing your sister over her.
Or, you can just appoint them both as MOHs doesn’t really matter. We’re having 2 MOHs and 2 Best Men.
Post # 7
Can they be co maid of honors? You can just tell your sister that you don’t want to give her a bunch of stuff to do since it’s important she focus on herself right now, and since your friend is so close to you also, you’d like them to do it together.
She was rude in asking, but @peachacid is right that you’re pretty stuck now that you already responded the way you did. Sounds like she’s going through a lot right now, and she hasn’t done anything where you should ‘demote’ her, much as I hate that term when it’s used in reference to BMs.
Post # 8
I think you’re kind of stuck picking your sister at this point. I would’ve picked her anyway, though. I chose my sister, even though she’ll be barely 17 on my wedding day.
You can always explain the situation to your friend. I’m sure she’d understand!
Post # 9
I had two MOH’s (my sister and best friend) and DH had two Best Men. Rock the boat!
Post # 10
To me MOH is just a title. You kind of weaseled out of your sister’s question by not being direct, so it may cause family drama if you don’t pick her now. That doesn’t mean your other friend/bridesmaid can’t be there just as much for you. I also have two girls and my only sister is default MOH. But I don’t expect anything different from her versus my friend.
Post # 11
@lia22: I somewhat said this to my friend and she understands- so thats a positive
I like the idea of having 2 MOH, but I think if I do that, my sister will be mad I didnt just pick her, since she is my sister.
I agree it was rude of her to ask, but shes younger (19) maybe it was her way of being excited, idk I felt like she just wants to be able to say she did this and that, which I would love her help but I can not trust her at all now, and will not be able to for a long time.