Post # 1
I’m so upset right now …. i feel like our wedding has turned into a joke.
Originally we wanted to have a destination wedding but due to family issues (time off, money mainly) we decided to have it in Ontario BUT then we ended up planning a wedding WE didn’t want in a location that wasn’t “us” so we moved it to a pub (which is SO much more “us”) it’s supposed to be in 4 months & 13 days BUT we’ve had some major financial set backs ($2500 to fix the car), then MrN was laid off, found a job but it was seasonal for Christmas only so he was again out of work, found a job BUT we got in a hole & had to use wedding savings for bills SO our wedding savings is at $0 (we have a lot purchased though) but the big ticket items (food, drink, photography, limo, attendants gifts, wedding bands, his suit) are not paid for and due to these set backs we are left with 2 options … have our wedding BUT not what we want it to be (no limo, no bagpiper and/or harpist, low-end hotel (really wanted to splurge for our wedding night), rented suit (he really wanted to buy), and some more things would be cut OR altermate is to postpone to next June (1st or 15th are the dates we’re tossing around).
My shower is June 2nd (my Maid/Matron of Honor mailed the invitations from the USA to Canada today so I can’t really call it off) BUT I’m debating telling everyone after the shower & then I won’t have a shower next year before the wedding.
Post # 3
I am so sorry that you are upset! You’re probably already upset about not having the “first” vision you had (DW), and now it’s downgrading from the original idea even more.
Would “no limo, no bagpiper and/or harpist, low-end hotel, rented suit” be the main things you have to cut? It doesn’t seem like too much. Did you have a dinner planned? Will that still be the same?
Post # 4
@sienna76 we have a dinner planner however it was basic, I really wanted a cocktail hour but couldn’t afford it because of this set back, also we had to very much limit our guests, also it’s only 1 drink per person, the rest of the night guests need to pay for themselves if they’d like to drink so those are also some significant changes.
MrN & I originally both dreamed of a Destination Wedding, me walking down the aisle to him on a beach with no shoes on & it’s something I’d really like to do, we could pay for 1 parent each (so per couple they pay for 1 person, we pay for 1) and then pay for ourselves plus have enough left over to pay for the few things we’d want (i.e. wedding packate at the hotel).
I’m so upsest, I really wish we could come to a decision becuase at this point we’re ready to elope & tell no one until AFTER and in 5 years have a big anniversary party.
Post # 5
@MrsN2Be: We kind of went through the same thing. Deposits were out, invitations mailed, etc. and 45 days before the wedding we decided to change the date because we basically ran out of money to pay our balances. We simply called everyone personally and just explained that we decided to postpone the wedding. Luckily we were having a fairly small and intimate event so it really wasn’t such a big deal (mostly close family). Also, LUCKILY everyone that we dealt with-venue, photographer, bakery, decorator, etc. were very understanding and simply allowed us to move our deposits over to the new date without losing any money. The only thing that we lost money on was the invitations. We had even paid for our honeymoon so we just used that trip as a very romantic vacation. I know that you’re upset but just talk things over and don’t stress about it. Do what works for the both of YOU. Honestly, this time has allowed me to plan better with alot less stress and include all of the details that we couldn’t before. Good luck.
Post # 6
I’m sorry! Been there done that and we eloped.
this thread will help you feel better, I also wrote all about it there: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/so-stressed-no-money-and-too-many-guests-can-i-just-elope
Post # 7
As a guest, I know I would not be thrilled to come to a bridal shower and then have the wedding postponed on the heels of it. I know you said you wouldn’t have a second one later, but I can still see it ruffling feathers. If you postpone, I’d suggest calling people who were invited to the shower to change it. (It’s pretty tight notice anyhow for folks…my Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t invite until 3 weeks before the shower either, so I had a lot who couldn’t make it.)
Post # 8
MrN & I talked a LOT today and after a LOT of tears we decided to postpone and also cancel the shower.
I’ve offered to give my Maid/Matron of Honor the $ she spend on invitations as well as postage (sending from USA to Canada) as she literally just mailed the invitations yesterday.
We have about 86 people on our guest list and we’ve told our parents and wedding party so far but for the rest of the guests I’ll call and those who I can’t call I’ll send a personal letter via mail.
Postponing will allow us to have what we wanted and will elimitate the arguments over money that we’ve been having lately.