- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
I think you should be happy for her. This is just my opinion, but why should someone have to put their life on hold just because you are getting married? If they have the baby around the time of the wedding, well, there is just more to celebrate.
I wouldn't be annoyed at all. Just because she's going to be a BM in your wedding, doesn't mean she has to put her family planning on hold. If she does happen to get pregnant, worry about it then. You'll have 9 months to make a decision with her about whether or not she will be able to be in your wedding. :)
lol! My bridesmaid ordered her dress a few weeks ago and now she's pregnant. She'll be about 4-5 months along at the wedding so now we're scrambling to find something for her to wear. Because we know that her dress will not fit. BLOWER. Don't let it ruin your day. Let her find a dress that is "maternity appropriate" (it allows room for the belly). That way if it happens, it's not a big deal. David's Bridal has a whole section devoted to maternity appropriate BM dresses.
I agree with the PP. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean that she should have to put her entire life on hold. I don't understand why you'd be annoyed.
@ChantelleyLace: Oh no! dont get me wrong I am very happy for her and I am excited... but what do I do if shes 9 months preggers? How would you get a dress ordered for her, and what would I do if she literally had the baby 2 weeks before the wedding and she in the wedding party and could no longer make it. (I am only asking because this exact situation happened to my girlfriend, her sister got pregnant and her wedding was middle of september and her sister is due begining of september, and she could no longer her MOH, however they were already like 6-7 months into the planning, so I know it left her in a bit of a bind)
People are not going to put their lives on hold for you so no, you should not be annoyed. Be supportive. As EvaBostonTerrier said, there is just more to celebrate.
I asked my bridesmaids to be in the wedding 11 months before our big day. My MOH will be 9 months pregnant and is actually due the day after our wedding. We made sure to order her a dress that would fit, and hope that she can still join me on my special day.
For me it is about having people that mean a lot to me and my FI stand for us, so it didn't bother me. In fact, her husband is marrying us. So there is a chance they will both miss our wedding, but for the birth of their child, that is the best excuse ever. 
If she ends up being pregnant during the wedding, then she can always get a bigger dress if she needs one. If she has the baby right around the time of the wedding and for some reason can't attend, well, then she'll be a bridesmaid in spirit even if she won't physically be there. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
I recently found out that one of my bridesmaids (my best friend of 18 years) will be 6 months pregnant at the time of the wedding, and my cousin is due 3 days after, but she's getting induced early so she can make it! I honestly can't wait! Yes, it makes dress shopping and that a little more difficult, but there are ways around it...
I had one BM who had a baby about 4 weeks before my wedding and 1 BM who was 7 months pregnant and we didn't know until the day before the wedding if her dress was going to fit or if she was going to have to borrow a non-matching black maternity dress. Neither situation bothered me or caused any stress.
I'd say wait and see. If it happens, it happens. Just adjust accordingly. If not, well, no worries required. :)
Also, ask her how she feels about being pregnant during the wedding. as in, will she feel up to it?
Speaking from experience as a mother of two: when you get bigger than you normally are, you feel FAT. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVED being pregnant, but I'd also joke about being the "good year blimp" too! also, the further along you get, the more you HATE being on your feet for long periods of time. You will also get tired far more quickly due to carrying around the baby.
Be sure to let her know you'll support her no matter what and that if she ever feels the need to step down, for any reason, it's okay and not a big deal. (i'd do it in an offhanded, "I'm thinking of you and your health and baby" type way)
Eh, I had a BM have her baby 3 months before my wedding. I was a lil annoyed at first. But I'm glad I didn't say anything at first. I eventually decided not to be annoyed, to just be supportive and see what happens. When we did speak, she said it was accident that she wasn't really prepared for. Good thing I chose the supportive route! And that she'd still like to be in the wedding. And she was. So basically, we can't expect people to put their lives on hold for our day, we just have to hope for the best! The best in your case would be that her and her hubs have a beautiful baby AND she is still able to be a BM. It can happen!
@Zinzerena: Well she did mention that she wanted to either get pregnant anytime now so she could have the baby before the wedding and fit into the dresses we picked out, or be like 3-4 months along so she could still fit into the one we picked. She made it clear she did not want to be a "fat" bridesmaid.... but i guess I cant help the timing. I said I dont care how big she is, and it didnt matter to me, and I have not had kids so I dontk now how it feels. But she really didnt want to be a "fat" bridesmaid. Do i prepare myself for the idea that she may not want to do it?
You really can't plan the timing, and it's not fair for her to not try just for the wedding. It's got to be her and her husbands choice. Which unfortunately makes it more difficult to plan, but it really is another reason to celebrate!
My sister is getting married next May. DH and I decided to start trying after our wedding, then we planned to stop for a while, so that I would definitely be able to travel and wouldn't miss her wedding because I was 9 mos pregnant. (I live in NY and her wedding is in FL) We're due March 28, so our little one should be about 5-6 weeks old when we fly for her wedding.
I was nervous about her being upset, but she's been really supportive. I made it clear to her that DH would be on baby duty the entire weekend, and that aside from feedings/pumping, I'd be at her beck and call. Also I let her know that DH would leave the ceremony if there was any fussing from the baby, and that we were there for her! I think that helped.
I planned around her wedding because I wanted to be there no matter what, but not everyone can or will do that. Especially if it's an unexpected pregnancy.
Just be supportive, I'm sure she'll do the best she can to be there for you.
Baby trumps wedding, always. Why should someone plan their fertility schedule around a party? I'm sure you could find a bridesmaid dress in an empire waist in the same color as the other bridesmaids. This isn't a problem at all.
Honestly, who cares? She still wants to celebrate with you and it's not like she'll be taking the attention off your day. Just let it be, what happens happens. I would consider giving her the out, if something happens along the way that makes you reconsider taking my BM offer, let me know, etc. that way she can keep you posted to how progress is going - pick out gowns mutually flattering.
Well, if she is pregnant just try to find a bm dress in the same color. She might be too tired to do anything though, so also be prepared that she might bail out. I know you'll be disappointed if she actually gives birth the day of the wedding and I understand but it just isn't worth getting upset over.
I don't think baby trumps wedding is necessarily true-weddings are special days for brides and grooms BUT the brides and grooms have to keep their day in perspective. If someone is having baby it shouldn't be looked at as an inconvienience to your marriage. It's just life.
I'm in a wedding in october-found out i was pregnant last month and PRAYING that my $200 Jim Hjelm BM dress will fit. *crosses fingers. otherwise i have no idea what I'm going to do with it. it's a size 2!! ugh!
@Cant find a user name Bride : Don't worry! There are maternity BM dresses. And if she happens to have the baby too close to your wedding, your numbers will be a little off but you'll be welcoming another new member into the family! :)
i knew when i asked her that my MOH and her husband want to start TTC next year, and she hopes to be 3-6 months pregnant by the wedding. i guess that's a lot easier than 9 months pregnant, but i certainly didn't think twice about including her in the wedding. i am having a matron and a maid of honor though, as i figure MOH1 will have a lot of other things on her plate next summer and may not be feeling 100% at the wedding, so it'll be nice to have someone else there for me.
Just happened to me this week! I'm only having 2 bridesmaids & one just found out she is 10 weeks pregnant. I hopped online & found a BM dress that has a maternity option as well & ordered new dresses for them both. We're keeping our colors the same, the dress will be flattering on both of them & they will arrive 2 weeks before the wedding. No stress, no fuss and no muss!
@Cant find a user name Bride : if she's only 3-4 months along, she shouldn't be that large. Unless she "eats for two" and pigs out (did that, can say that added WAY more pounds than I wanted, lol). Also, sometimes the babies are just LARGE and really want to know seen. (again, my son was like that. I was showing at around 2 months with a pudgey belly and by 4 was a rather noticable in certain clothing.)
Here's a secret that might help her: pick clothing a size or two larger if she can't fit into her dress at the time of the wedding. Not only does it make you feel pretty, beautiful and NOT fat, but it also looks good. Snug clothes will show, while loose flowy clothes will hide.
Oh, and people can spot maternity wear a mile away and many styles tend to make it obvious you're pregnant and not always in a flattering way.
If I were in your place, I'd choose a color and style that could be bought closer to the wedding that will flatter her and make her feel good about her figure and appearance.
Should you be annoyed? Probably not (of course, not saying that in a harsh way, I understand... this is YOUR big day! : ))
Stressed? Maybe a little... but DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! : )
Here's the good news. Most places don't require that you order your BM dresses until about 3 months in advance (to allow time for alterations, etc.). So, you have until 3 months before to find out if she will be preggers, and if so, how far along. And, if you find out anytime after the 3 months, she won't be showing enough for it to make a big difference (unless the BM dresses are super tight).
I happen to have a preggers BM, and it has worked out just fine! I'm doing 5 different BM dresses, so she just picked out a maternity one in our color, and we are making it work!
Try not to let it get you! Everything will be fine! I understand your stress about it... but be sure to be excited for them too! : )
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |

| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| rebwana | 24 |
| funkymunky85 | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| beargoose | 22 |
| kat2014 | 22 |
| Cady | 22 |
| his chippymunk | 21 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| LammChop | 11 |
| ticklemepink | 3 |
| raspberry bride | 3 |
| TwoCityBride | 3 |
| funkymunky85 | 3 |
| janetsnakehole | 3 |
| Miss Root | 2 |
| SapphireSun | 2 |
| Jenlon | 2 |
| Mrs. Chai | 2 |
I need some advice regarding a bridesmaid (also future sister in law) What do I do if she became pregnant during the time of our wedding. She has expressed that she and her hubby who were married last year will be trying soon. Should I be annoyed with the fact that she keeps joking that she is going to have a baby the same month I get married?