- 3 years ago
I work in a small office with one doctor, his assistant and myself (office manager). His assistant has been at the office for 12 years and is a good friend of the doctor that we work for. I have been at the office for 3 years and have become friends with his assistant myself (we’ll call her R). R is 5 years older than myself (she’s 32) and is married with 2 kids. Because there are only 3 people in the office, it is very difficult for either of us to miss work and because of that, she often brings her daughter to work with her and finds another child care arrangement for her son. R works in the back with the doctor, so the child sits up front with me all day. I normally don’t say anything because she is very sensitive about her kids, and she is good friend with the doctor and I know he doesn’t see anything wrong with her bringing the child to work.
Fast forward to a couple days ago (a little over a week before my wedding) and she brings the child to work very sick. At first, she had her sitting in a side (consult) room rather than at the front desk with me, where she normally sits. I was okay with that, but then when her mom when back with the doctor she came up to the front desk and started rummaging through my cups of pens and pencils and then sat down next to me and began coughing. I did panic a little at this point, because I absolutely didn’t want to get sick a week before my wedding. So, I went to the back (privately with R) and asked that the child be put back in the side room, or that she take her home since she wasn’t feeling well and I could handle the rest of the days patients with the doctor (I am also trained to work in the back). I did say it in a panicked voice, like you could probably tell I wanted the kid away from me, and I did say that I didn’t want to get sick before my wedding. R took the child and left for the day, which was fine by me, but for the next couple days at work she was not speaking to me and when I spoke to her she gave one or two word responses. She was very cold toward me. I tried texting her today and got more cold responses so I finally asked her “are you upset with me? I feel like you have been off with me for the past couple days, did I do something wrong?” And this is the response I got back:
“Yes, I will explain & u don’t have to respond. I am hurt & upset that u panicked & didn’t want Mady around u with a sore throat cough. I was just going to have her stay in the consult room. You don’t live in a bubble & u can get sick from anyone, anywhere @ anytime, in life. You should be more selfless & caring. I was upset & personally didn’t want to be around u, that’s why I left. No one ever has said or acted like that about my kids. I am truly disappointed.”
I was pretty taken aback by this response, because why wouldn’t you just say something if you were so upset instead of treating me like crap until I ask? Am I really so selfish for not wanting to be sick before my wedding!? This is what I responded back:
“I’m truly sorry if I hurt your feelings, that wasn’t my intention. And I would never try to hurt your kids feelings either, that is why I didn’t say anything to her or around her. I had hoped you would understand my not wanting to be sick right before my wedding. And you’re right that I could’ve asked in a less panicked way, and I am sorry for that. But I do think it was a reasonable request to have you take her either in the consult room or home. I didn’t have a problem when she was in the consult room and I wouldn’t have said anything at all if that was where she was Please call me when you can bc I consider you a good friend and want to work this out.”
She responded that she was busy and we could talk later. Any advice on how I should handle this when we talk? I can’t have a bad relationship with her because it would be devastating to my job security as she is very close with my boss. I am very well paid and my job is generally a breeze so I don’t want to lose it. Thanks for any help.
- This topic was modified 3 years ago by MilaBeth.