Weddingbee boards

Originally my finance and I decided to have a small destination wedding and a large reception in Chicago where his parents live. Due to his culture, he is scared that this will bring numerous unwanted guest (due to his large family and our no children policy).

We have decided to rent a beach house for a wedding in NC and have a small (30ppl) wedding ceremony.  Maintaining this small number at the wedding is extremely important to me becuase I want to create an intimate cermony where guest are engaged instead of watching.  I only want to share this moment with my closest family and friends.

Now the problem comes in because he now wants to having the 100+ the same weekend if not the same day as the reception.  I atleast want to have it the day after but I am worried that by having it so close and in the same city that we will offend our guests and other family members.  Do you think having a larger reception the day of is tacky?  Would it be better to do it the day after in another location but same city?  How could you word invites so it doesnt seem offensive? 

I don't think it would be a problem to have both events on the same day.  I would send an invitation for the big reception to everyone, and include a ceremony invitation as an insert for the people invited to that part of the day.  That way, you don't need any special wording, etc.

If you're consistent with whom you invite (i.e. only aunts/uncles, only aunts/uncles/first cousins, etc...), no one should be offended.

Good Luck.  Happy PLanning!

Sorry if I was unclear... the original plan was to have it two seperate weekends a week apart.  But now he wants to have everything in one location (to eliminate the two seperate rental fees).  So we would be married on the outer banks and have a reception there the same day or the next day.  Or we can return to Raleigh where we live the next day.

The ceremony itself I really want to keep private and small.  I really want it to be solely a union with our closest family and friends.  Moms, Dads, Grandparents, wedding party, closest friends.  It is very important to me that the ceremony is small. Does this sound wrong?

The reception is larger because we have the rest of our family to feel like they have apart in our union. So it will be aunts, uncles, cousins and other friends.  Moreover, I know both our families would be insulted if they could not say that they were involved at all.  So this party is partly out of obligation and partly to incorporate other friends.  It is only one reception but I just dont want to offend others by not inviting them to the wedding when it is so accessible to them.  Do you guys think I am wrong?