Post # 1
So my fiance and I have been together for a couple years now and engaged. When he proposed to me I felt on top of the world, and a couple days later I came crashing down! After he proposed to me, he had the nerve to tell me that he no longer wanted to get married. Our relationship ended briefly (1 wk) and we ended up working things out and have been doing great.
I recently just found out that i was losing my job, and luckily was given the opportunity to take a position in Houston Tx, we live in Indiana right now, and after much discussion with my fiance, decided not to take the job because we decided with his income we can buy a house and start a family and i can go back to school. So we made that decision together. Now we find the perfect house, and payments are going to be CHEAP. So we made an offer, got it accepted and now…he wants to back out of it.
I dont know how much more of this i can take! i have a 5 yr old son and he seems to be annoyed by my child more and more every day. I love him with all my heart, he is a very kind man, but he cant make any comittment to anything and now he’s telling me he wants a baby!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!? Should i just do what my gut says and leave? or should i try and work this out with him? I’m so confused and need some insight.
Post # 3
He’s a very kind man who is annoyed by his fiancee’s child? Doesn’t sound that kind to me. I’m not saying you should leave for certain (only you can know that), but these are some serious red flags he’s throwing up.
Post # 4
He clearly has some odd committment issues; it’s like he fears certain committments, but pushes/forces himself into them, and then freaks out and backs out. What has he said about backing out of your engagement? Are you engaged currently?
Personally it would be hard for me to deal with this; it would literally eat away at my nerves! Have you suggested couples counseling, perhaps? That could be helpful to sort of fish out what he’s thinking/going through. It sounds as if maybe he suffers from some form of anxiety.
Bottom line, it isn’t fair to you or your son, so you should either find steps towards a solution (such as counseling) or make a decision about moving forward with your own life.
And welcome to the Bee! 🙂
EDIT: You call him your fiance so I guess that answers my question about whether you are engaged currently. Sorry! Do you have a wedding date planned?
Post # 5
Maybe it would be good to take a breather for you both. You both need to evaluate, you for your son, and he needs to decide what he wants. It sounds like he gets cold feet at making a commitment. Stepping away might help you both come to an understanding on moving forward. If it were me I would let him know he needs to make a decision he plans to stick with and personally I would feel insecure with being yanked back and forth like you are. He’s not being fair to you or your son:(
Post # 6
I’m sure you both love each other, but it just doesn’t sound to me as though he’s ever going to be able to take the next step with you.
Always trust your gut. Always. How many times do we say this in retrospect? “I knew it then and I wish I had trusted my gut” versus “I followed my gut instinct and now I regret it”?
Post # 7
You are a human being, with needs, feelings, and responsibilities… you are not a yo-yo.
Post # 8
Sounds like he rethinks every big decision and that is not a good thing at all IMO.
Post # 9
You have a son and unfortunately it sounds like your Fiance is not committed to you and your future. I would suggest putting yourself and your son first and taking the job in Houston…if it’s still an option and moving on and forward with your life….this guy doesn’t sound like he’s in for the long haul….but this is just my opinion….Good Luck to you in whatever you choose.
Post # 10
Thank you guys so much! This has been a rollercoaster ride for me and i’m so glad i posted this has helped so much.
I have told myself that this isnt fair, and i am the type of person that can move on from this. Thank you all you have confirmed my thinking and wish you all the best in the future!!!