HELP!! So overwhelmed by bridal registry!!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

BurlapnLace:  Definitely don’t stress! You can always adjust things after you start the registry- I’ve changed things a lot!!  When you get started, they will give you a ‘checklist’ of things.  Don’t feel like you need to get ALL of them on there.  Think abour your life, what you use a lot, things that are fancy or pricier than you would normally spend on yourselves- those make perfect wedding gifts!  Also, think about things that are important to you- for me, I have a thing for wine glasses and linens, so I made sure to register for those things first.  LOL and when you have that scanner in your hand, it’s so easy to get carried away… just have fun with it in store, then go back a day or 2 later and check it out online, make edits…  I can’t tell you how many times I changed things up. 

I registered at target and macys, but since we just bought a house, I used AmazingRegistry.com so I coud add a few other things, like gift cards to Lowes! 

One last thought.. it’s easy to get carried away and say you need a deep fryer, and bread machine, and that super duper fancy china and 20 kinds of glassware…bc you are ‘the bride and this is so fun and why not! It’s my wedding day!!’… I see ppl register for all of that, and my first thought it… WHERE are you going to store all that stuff!?? I’m not a gadget person, so I went with pracical stuff, with just a couple extras.  I made sure all dishes and glasses were DW safe, bc I know I’m not hand washing everything! LOL!  Think about your lifestyle and go with that- it would just be a waste to end up with tons of stuff you’ll never use, rather than getting the essentials and maybe some extra cash to put toward that new house instead!  Good luck, and have fun! 

Post # 3
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club

We live together in a small home and are hoping to purchase a new home next year so the registry was difficult for us as well. I would stay away from decor, shower curtains, accent furniture, throw pillows, Etc. I would think about things you will use and need regardless of what you house looks like. Kitchen stuff, dishes, towels, bedding are all really good options. You probably already have this stuff so register for upgraded nicer versions. Things for entertaining, small appliances are nice too. Do a search in the Bee and you will find lots of threads about what bees registered for that they lover vs what they got that they don’t use. 

we tried to register for things that we would buy if we had the money, that way nothing was extravagant and unreasonable. Try to have done fun!

Post # 4
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

BurlapnLace:  I totally freaked about it at first because we have ZERO space at our current apartment, where we’re going to be for another few years. My mom peeled me off the ceiling and basically said this was our one chance to upgrade all the stuff we already had, so we basically registered for stuff to replace the crap things we’d had since college (blender, toaster, mismatched silverware, etc). We did a BBB registry, and an Amazon one where we registered for some fun things, like a digital camera and Cards Against Humanity 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

Register for things you can use right now or things which you will realistically use in the future.  Pots, pans, dishware, flatware, towels, bed linens.  Don’t load up on decor or small appliances because you have no idea if it would work in your future house or if you have the room to store it.  And don’t worry if the registry ends up being small.  If people see a small registry and don’t find anything they want to buy, they usually give cash or a gift card.

Post # 6
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

Definitely register at BB&B…you can return registry items for cash if you want, instead of being stuck with store credit. You also don’t need a receipt, just a printed out copy of your registry showing how much the item was listed for (haven’t checked this yet, but that’s what they told me when I registered there.) Anyway, I say this not to imply the cash is more important than people’s gifts, but it takes A LOT of the stress out of registering when you know that if you put something on there, and then realize later you never really needed it, you have a simple return option and its not like you lost out on a useful gift because you were too stressed to plan out now what items you will need in a home a year from now! Also, they had a pretty nice registry lady who walked the store with me and was very patient. She had a ton of good recommendations for what types of stuff to put on there, what price points people expect, and what little things you may need in a house that you wouldn’t normally think of.

Post # 7
Member
3869 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PP – use if for upgrades. We live in a small apartment, but we registered for things like plates and glasses so we’d finally have a matching set (same with silverware). Kitchen items like pots, pans, baking supplies, etc. are also good, because you can use them now and in your house – I went with standard silver and black appliances (mixer, etc.) so they’ll match any house decor.

Also, you can always use new or extra towels and sheets.

Post # 8
Member
4596 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We finally finished our registries last weekend, although need to edit some based on what we found at different stores. We did 3 places (BBB, JCP and Target). I knew that BBB would be great for kitchen stuff, JCP was mainly bedding and towels, and Target was odds and ends.

We already have a fully furnished house, and most of our stuff that we pu ton our list are upgrades and things we can call “ours” and not just “his” and “hers” that was divyed up when we moved in together a year ago. I also was thinking to the future when it came to entertaining and things we may need for a new house down the road – that we would still have room for in the current house. For all 3 stores, we probably have over 100 items – so we found some stuff!!

If you don’t have a lot of things that you want, you don’t have to register for much. People will give cash or gift cards instead.

Post # 9
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Oh don’t stress!!  That’s the fun of doing the registry!!  Take your time and shop around and scan what you need! Once you are there, you really do start to think about if you need it or not because it’s right in front of you.  I thought I would be trigger happy when I was doing it but once I actually saw it right in front of me I was like … um … yeah I don’t need that.

Plus you really don’t have to register for too many things.  Just scan whatever you need.  Most people go in together on gifts anyway and some love to give giftcards because a lot of people are not into registries and have a hard time choosing what to get you.  The only other alternative is that guests will just give cash because it’s the easiest.  For people that are already married, I find that they like to give gift cards or cash because they know  most of all what newlyweds would need and that is not always “stuff”.  The would prefer to  give cash to help start your new life as oppose to a toaster.  Unless … you just want to maybe upgrade?  If you have a 15 year old toaster … you could use a new one that won’t blow up anytime soon LOL.

So don’t stress!  The registry is just the small but fun part of the planning.

Post # 11
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

BurlapnLace:  I definitely felt the same way. We are living with my parents saving for a house right now. We expect to be out by this time next year, but are having an engagement party, so my mother wanted us to register. I had zero idea of what I needed/wanted. I mean even something as simple as picking out a table cloth was giving me anxiety–I had no idea what kind of table we would even get! FI and I went on our own to Target and registered, but when we got home, nothing made sense. None of our items matched (towels and bath products, kitchen appliances, etc.) and I got so frustrated I deleted everything. 

When we decided to go to BBB, we actually had someone walk around with us. She helped keep me focused. She tried to push us towards really expensive items and while I understand where she is coming from, my FI and I remained firm that we didn’t want 10 $150 settings for china. We registered for 10 $25 settings instead and so on. I’ve been able to add and remove things from home, go back in and add things, etc. I’ve also heard that they will bend over backwards to accomodate you for returns and the like, so that’s reassuring. FI and I also added some things that we knew no one would buy for us, but that we wanted to use a coupon for after the wedding.

I think you should focus on the big things you know you’ll want and need and then worry about the little things later. Ultimately, when people go on your registry, if there isn’t a heck of a lot on there, you will most likely just get a gift card and cash!

Post # 12
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

BurlapnLace:  Usually you can talk to someone who is charge of the whole registry place.  Most places that do registries do.  They will set you up, give you a tip sheet or a list of things that could be useful or common in scanning and away you go.  Don’t overthink the registry, it’s not really the biggest part of the wedding, it’s the fun part of the wedding planning!

Just take a look around your room, make a quick list of things you need or could use an upgrade so when you go to BB&B, you have an idea.  Go on a weekend on some free time or some free time with your SO and have fun with it!  You can just start scanning whatever the hell you like and if you are starting to second guess things, you can always  go on the website and delete the ones you don’t want anymore. 

Better yet, you can also add stuff from the website.  I do that sometimes when I have some spare time and browse through my list to see if any of the stuff is not really needed.  Just point and click. 

So you have option 1 of actually going there to scan (because it’s kinda fun to walk around and scan) or you can do it from the comfort of your own home on your computer and add stuff. 

Really don’t stress about it.  It’s like the least thing you should worry about. Like me and a lot of other people said already, there’s nothing bad about this. If anything they will just give cash or gift cards.

Post # 13
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

BurlapnLace:  I totally understand how you feel. When I started the registry process, I was very overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. It can definitely feel like you’re complaining about luxury problems, but honestly, it can be confusing. <br /><br />The bulk of our registry has been done through Macy’s. It was nice because I made an appointment, and sat down with their registry manager who walked me through the store, made recommendations, and suggested about how many items we should register for based on our guest list. They also provide you a registry “to do” list, so you can get an idea of what to put on your list. I’ve also registered at Anthropologie, and I’m going to use the Amazon Universal registry.

There are a ton of lists from different wedding blogs, and magazines that will suggest what things to register for. I’ve found them to be helpful.

My one suggestion is to really think about what you need and want. Would it be fun to have a popcorn maker and ice cream maker? Sure. But, are you going to use it or will it just take up space? And would you rather have something else instead of that…that’s kind of how I went at the registry. Originally I was like  “one of everything please” but I know I’ll never use appliances that are only good for one specific thing, and would rather have a Vitamix.

Have fun with it though! Take the FI along even if he is dragging his feet at the beginning. That’s how my FI was, and then he got into it.

Oh and have someone help you around the store. The folks at Crate & Barrel just let us walk by ourselves with a scanner and it was overwhelming.

Post # 14
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

BurlapnLace:  The best way I found to do it was to pick out things that I liked and register for those first (shower curtains, towels, etc.).  As far as kitchen, go for things you like, but at different price points.  BB&B has wonderful return policies.  You can basically return anything you get that you don’t like.  So for example, register for a cookware set, but also register for pots & pans individually.  That way if you get a duplicate, you can return it, plus they come in increasing price points, letting people spend what they want.  And if you get the set, you can return all the individual ones, giving you money to spend on other things you wanted. We also registered for other random kitchen accessories, letting people who wanted to spend at lower price points pick a few different things. This worked really well!  We didn’t really get any duplicates and we got a variety of things that we wanted, plus things we could return to get what we wanted.  We also registered for “upgraded” items (4-slice toaster instaed of the 2-slice we wanted) and returned for smaller models, giving us extra to spend.

<br />ETA:  Make sure you read reviews (if you are into that – I am) of the BIG items you want so you are registering for a brand/model you will like.  I returned a few things that I changed my mind about after reading some reviews.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  donna_saur.
Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors