(Closed) help the ring is.. follow up

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@littleluli:  So you are in regular contact with your FI, just not his family? You are/have been in the country and have been planning the wedding with him?

Post # 4
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

Sounds like it is high time to meet his mom.

What does your FI think of the fact that no one in his family has RSVPed, when he expected he could get his side of the guestlist down to no less than 60 without insulting anyone?

Post # 5
Member
2956 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

It seems like he has some explaining to do

Post # 6
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This still doesn’t clear anything up for me unfortunately. 

What do you guys do together? Do you go out, do you hang out with friends?

You mentioned he worked abroad, where does he work, is it far away from you? How long is he gone for at a time? Can you contact him when he’s away? 

Why don’t you ask for FI’s moms phone number and call her? Or look it up in his phone and call it? 

 

Post # 10
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@littleluli:  are you certain he sent the invitations? Has his mom never expresses any interest in meeting you or never visited her son? It would be common courtesy to visit a son and his fiancé at least once in your 7-8 year relationship. Is he ashamed of his family for some reason?

Post # 11
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@littleluli:  And what about the mother issue? Could you ask for your FMILs phone number because you want to talk to her about wedding stuff?

Post # 12
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m just very curious as to why and how it’s possible that you haven’t met his family after 7 years? Why would you be okay with that and why would he not want you tio meet his family?

Post # 15
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@littleluli:  I am going to agree with most posters who think it is a little odd to have dated somebody for so long…planned so long…and to never have met family and friends. I think this is more of an issue than the ring and that you need to talk to somebody who knows him before you get married…regardless of whether you need to be married to stay in the country or not.

Post # 16
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@dihy:  +1

yes, don’t move forward with this if you have any big doubts. The ring is a secondary issue at this point. I am sure he couldn’t be ashamed of you, you seem lovely, so maybe he has some issue about his family that he is ashamed/embarrassed about. Sit down with him and explain that meeting his family is important because they are soon to be YOUR family too, and that you don’t really understand why they haven’t ever been a part of his/your lives over the past 8 years. 

ETA: A guy’s family relationships say a lot about his character. That is an insight you have not had access to. 

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