<font size="3"><font color="#000000"><font face="Times New Roman">My bf and I are looking around for rings now and although I have had a lifetime of priming to expect a diamond for my engagement ring, I find myself seriously thinking about moissanite. It’s a beautiful stone and the only negative thing I could think of was that it had a faint yellowish color when sat next to a colorless stone (but how often will that happen on your ring finger right?). Also it is SO much cheaper and now that I’ve gone back to school and money is tight, a cheaper ring would mean more money towards the wedding etc which is great! So now my only problem is this: I would have NO problem with a moissanite ring at all but I don’t feel I can tell my family & friends that it isn’t a diamond. They would view it as a 'fake' diamond (even though it’s not) which connotates cheapness and I don’t even want to think of what that may imply about their thoughts on my bf. But I just don’t want to lie either. Have any of you moissanite engagement ring owners ever felt this way and how did you deal?</font></font></font>
My sister's ring is moissanite. She only told myself and my mom that it wasn't real. There's no reason that anyone should ask, right? (Unless it looks too larger for your budget I guess...)
I have several girlfriends who have moissanite rings and earrings, and I have to say that the stones just look foggy to me. Like really poor quality diamonds with a lot of inclusions. There are other laboratory grown diamonds that are generally acknowledged to be better quality than moissanite, and in fact FI and I looked at a couple of yellow laboratory diamonds. If you go to an actual diamond broker, they can generally order laboratory stones for you to compare, and I would really suggest you do that.
Personally, if I didn't want to spend the money on a diamond, I would go with a nice quality sapphire for the center stone. You can get a lot more stone for your money, and it is a fairly hard stone so appropriate for everyday wear. You might also consider that a small diamond is something that you can trade up later, when money isn't such a concern.
You should really get what makes you (and your FI) happy. If that is moissanite, there's no problem with that. But I would suggest that if you feel you have to lie to people about what is in your ring, you probably really aren't happy with it. Especially I think you shouldn't feel like you have to lie to your family. Whatever you decide, also decide to be proud of your decision!
I had researched into alternatives and while labs like Gemesis and Apollo Diamonds offer cultured diamonds that have the same chemical and structural make up as a mined diamond, Diamond Nexus actually is a synthetic (not the same chemical or structural makeup). Which doesn't necessarily bother me except for the fact that I have heard a lot of disconcerting stuff about those stones losing their color or 'fading' and that unlike a cultured diamond or moissanite, they are not as hard or durable as diamonds. However cultured diamonds are only really sold in fancy colors (blue, pink and yellow which I don't want) and Apollo Diamonds which is the only one creating colorless ones, always seems to have an enormous waiting list.
I first saw a moissanite at a jewellery store (Helzberg) and it was sat next to a diamond. I think you can get moissanites of different quality and the one I saw was an equivalant to a VS2, 'I' color and except for the fact that it wasn't colorless, I couldn't find anything to complain about. I didn't see any cloudiness but I will try to take another look to try to see it.
PS Suzanno, I don't think I mentioned moissanite as a lab grown diamond. What I do know of it, is that it is a mineral that was originally found in meteors but in a very small quantity and is now being grown in labs. I've been told it's a gem in it's own right and not a fake diamond per say. Kind of like setting a sapphire or an amethyst in your ring instead of a diamond. Which is why I'm questinging all this hoopla about a diamond in the first place I guess.
However, Gemesis and Apollo are two companies who do grow actual diamonds in a lab setting.
I wonder if they get cloudy over time? I have one girlfriend (and she and her hubby have plenty of money) who has moissanite everything, and he just bought her a moissanite past, present, and future ring. And while of course we say how fabulous it is, FI and I both think that they look like really poor quality, foggy diamonds. They just don't seem to actually throw light the way a diamond does. Even the new ring is this way. She loves them though - and tells everyone they are moissanite - and of course what is important is that she is happy with them. So once again, its really a personal choice, and whatever makes you happy is the right choice! I am sure she loves her moissanite just as much as I love my diamond, and for sure she has a lot more of it!
I think Moissanite may be a feasible alternative, but i'm not quite sure if you would be happy with the result years down the road. Since you may still have a foggy look or slight color discoloration even with someof the best moissanite, that might be some of the things you might want to consider when thinking about your stone. I agree with Suzanno that when i see moissanite, it looks like not as good quality diamond.
i have heard of folks getting their ring with a cubic zirconia center stone, and upgrading a year or so late when they are able to more financially afford it. Case in point- Tacori rings, where the setting is fan-ta-stic, but some of the settings alone are quite pricey- the couple was able to get the setting she wanted, and a year later when they had more cash flow, they replaced her center stone with a diamond.
another alternative is white sapphire? and if you are looking for diamond alternatives, i think this can definietly hold its own.
nkang - I LOVE Tacori settings - they're my favorite! And you're right on the money - my bf and I are in a situation right now that we could get the diamond of my dreams, but it would mean putting off the wedding for a long while, not to mention taking longer to put together a downpayment for a house etc. And despite all this it would still be ok but we went from two incomes to one when I went back to school. So we've really been toying with the idea of getting something like a moissanite now and then upgrading in a few years once I'm out of med school, we've paid for our wedding and are feeling comfortable with money again.
if cost is part of the issue, here's another option: for less money, you can get amazing vintage/antique jewelry-- my ring is an antique circa 1930, platinum with a .8 carat diamond, and was far less than the same ring would be new. i wanted an antique ring before i knew the price bonus- so unique and gorgeous.
your also more likely to find antique rings with unique stones (saphires used to be very popular in engagement rings).
If you are going to go with something like moissanite now, and upgrade later (for what are really sound financial reasons - your friends and family should be proud) I would totally tell anyone who asks, and not feel like you have to pretend its a diamond. And not everyone will ask - and you don't have to feel lik you need to walk around wearing a sign that says It's Moissanite!! If nothing else, it will give your family something else to ask about besides when you are going to gie them grandchildren!
It is your day and your ring and you should have whatever you want!
Debt is never a good thing....it seems like it makes more sense to live within your means than to be paying down debts forever. Also, I would say that it comes down to what matters most to you and your FI; do you want a larger ring or do you want to pay for the wedding debt free, put a downpayment on a home, etc.?
My FI currently has all of his cash tied up in his house, which he will sell shortly before we get married and move into mine. We decided to get my band first (it is platinum, channel set with alternating diamonds and sapphires) and he will give me a larger ring for our wedding. That way, I can have what I want and he doesn't have to get into any debt to pay for it(neither of us currently have debt aside from our homes). It's also a bonus that I get a fun surprise on our wedding day!
Another option, if you don't want moissanite, is to purchase your ring at a jeweler who has a program where you can upgrade your ring later(by trading in your original smaller stone).
<font size="3"><font color="#000000"><font face="Times New Roman">My bf and I are looking around for rings now and although I have had a lifetime of priming to expect a diamond for my engagement ring, I find myself seriously thinking about moissanite. It’s a beautiful stone and the only negative thing I could think of was that it had a faint yellowish color when sat next to a colorless stone (but how often will that happen on your ring finger right?). Also it is SO much cheaper and now that I’ve gone back to school and money is tight, a cheaper ring would mean more money towards the wedding etc which is great! So now my only problem is this:
posted by PhillyMedGirl 13 posts 9 months agoI would have NO problem with a moissanite ring at all but I don’t feel I can tell my family & friends that it isn’t a diamond. They would view it as a 'fake' diamond (even though it’s not) which connotates cheapness and I don’t even want to think of what that may imply about their thoughts on my bf. But I just don’t want to lie either. Have any of you moissanite engagement ring owners ever felt this way and how did you deal?</font></font></font>
While my ring isn't moissanite, it is a red spinel. Most people think that it is a ruby, and I generally don't bother correcting them.
posted by dahlia 117 posts 9 months agoMy sister's ring is moissanite. She only told myself and my mom that it wasn't real. There's no reason that anyone should ask, right? (Unless it looks too larger for your budget I guess...)
posted by tipperella 33 posts 9 months agoI know nothing about the stone but read this link which discusses the trouble with moissanite
http://diamondnexuslabs.com/jewelry/newsdesk_info.php?newsPath=1&newsdesk_id=5&gclid=CIjJ3IqM9JECFSEaawodqxzcww
posted by IndianBride 179 posts 9 months agoI have several girlfriends who have moissanite rings and earrings, and I have to say that the stones just look foggy to me. Like really poor quality diamonds with a lot of inclusions. There are other laboratory grown diamonds that are generally acknowledged to be better quality than moissanite, and in fact FI and I looked at a couple of yellow laboratory diamonds. If you go to an actual diamond broker, they can generally order laboratory stones for you to compare, and I would really suggest you do that.
Personally, if I didn't want to spend the money on a diamond, I would go with a nice quality sapphire for the center stone. You can get a lot more stone for your money, and it is a fairly hard stone so appropriate for everyday wear. You might also consider that a small diamond is something that you can trade up later, when money isn't such a concern.
You should really get what makes you (and your FI) happy. If that is moissanite, there's no problem with that. But I would suggest that if you feel you have to lie to people about what is in your ring, you probably really aren't happy with it. Especially I think you shouldn't feel like you have to lie to your family. Whatever you decide, also decide to be proud of your decision!
posted by suzanno 1,978 posts 9 months agoI had researched into alternatives and while labs like Gemesis and Apollo Diamonds offer cultured diamonds that have the same chemical and structural make up as a mined diamond, Diamond Nexus actually is a synthetic (not the same chemical or structural makeup). Which doesn't necessarily bother me except for the fact that I have heard a lot of disconcerting stuff about those stones losing their color or 'fading' and that unlike a cultured diamond or moissanite, they are not as hard or durable as diamonds. However cultured diamonds are only really sold in fancy colors (blue, pink and yellow which I don't want) and Apollo Diamonds which is the only one creating colorless ones, always seems to have an enormous waiting list.
I first saw a moissanite at a jewellery store (Helzberg) and it was sat next to a diamond. I think you can get moissanites of different quality and the one I saw was an equivalant to a VS2, 'I' color and except for the fact that it wasn't colorless, I couldn't find anything to complain about. I didn't see any cloudiness but I will try to take another look to try to see it.
AAAHHH so confused!
posted by PhillyMedGirl 13 posts 9 months agoPS Suzanno, I don't think I mentioned moissanite as a lab grown diamond. What I do know of it, is that it is a mineral that was originally found in meteors but in a very small quantity and is now being grown in labs. I've been told it's a gem in it's own right and not a fake diamond per say. Kind of like setting a sapphire or an amethyst in your ring instead of a diamond. Which is why I'm questinging all this hoopla about a diamond in the first place I guess.
However, Gemesis and Apollo are two companies who do grow actual diamonds in a lab setting.
posted by PhillyMedGirl 13 posts 9 months agoI wonder if they get cloudy over time? I have one girlfriend (and she and her hubby have plenty of money) who has moissanite everything, and he just bought her a moissanite past, present, and future ring. And while of course we say how fabulous it is, FI and I both think that they look like really poor quality, foggy diamonds. They just don't seem to actually throw light the way a diamond does. Even the new ring is this way. She loves them though - and tells everyone they are moissanite - and of course what is important is that she is happy with them. So once again, its really a personal choice, and whatever makes you happy is the right choice! I am sure she loves her moissanite just as much as I love my diamond, and for sure she has a lot more of it!
posted by suzanno 1,978 posts 9 months agoI think Moissanite may be a feasible alternative, but i'm not quite sure if you would be happy with the result years down the road. Since you may still have a foggy look or slight color discoloration even with someof the best moissanite, that might be some of the things you might want to consider when thinking about your stone. I agree with Suzanno that when i see moissanite, it looks like not as good quality diamond.
i have heard of folks getting their ring with a cubic zirconia center stone, and upgrading a year or so late when they are able to more financially afford it. Case in point- Tacori rings, where the setting is fan-ta-stic, but some of the settings alone are quite pricey- the couple was able to get the setting she wanted, and a year later when they had more cash flow, they replaced her center stone with a diamond.
another alternative is white sapphire? and if you are looking for diamond alternatives, i think this can definietly hold its own.
http://www.mineralminers.com/html/swhgems.stm
http://www.simplysapphires.com/html/whitediamond.html
http://www.simplysapphires.com/html/whiteinfo.html
good luck!
posted by nkang 22 posts 9 months agonkang - I LOVE Tacori settings - they're my favorite! And you're right on the money - my bf and I are in a situation right now that we could get the diamond of my dreams, but it would mean putting off the wedding for a long while, not to mention taking longer to put together a downpayment for a house etc. And despite all this it would still be ok but we went from two incomes to one when I went back to school. So we've really been toying with the idea of getting something like a moissanite now and then upgrading in a few years once I'm out of med school, we've paid for our wedding and are feeling comfortable with money again.
posted by PhillyMedGirl 13 posts 9 months agoif cost is part of the issue, here's another option: for less money, you can get amazing vintage/antique jewelry-- my ring is an antique circa 1930, platinum with a .8 carat diamond, and was far less than the same ring would be new. i wanted an antique ring before i knew the price bonus- so unique and gorgeous.
your also more likely to find antique rings with unique stones (saphires used to be very popular in engagement rings).
more on my ring and a photo here:
http://flickr.com/photos/intermittent/1213781481/
posted by nikkinicole 38 posts 9 months agoIf you are going to go with something like moissanite now, and upgrade later (for what are really sound financial reasons - your friends and family should be proud) I would totally tell anyone who asks, and not feel like you have to pretend its a diamond. And not everyone will ask - and you don't have to feel lik you need to walk around wearing a sign that says It's Moissanite!! If nothing else, it will give your family something else to ask about besides when you are going to gie them grandchildren!
posted by suzanno 1,978 posts 9 months agoI do just want to mention, for people who love Tacori- they have a line of Diamonique on QVC with their settings- very affordable and gorgeous! :)
posted by Natakie16 44 posts 9 months agoIt is your day and your ring and you should have whatever you want!
Debt is never a good thing....it seems like it makes more sense to live within your means than to be paying down debts forever. Also, I would say that it comes down to what matters most to you and your FI; do you want a larger ring or do you want to pay for the wedding debt free, put a downpayment on a home, etc.?
My FI currently has all of his cash tied up in his house, which he will sell shortly before we get married and move into mine. We decided to get my band first (it is platinum, channel set with alternating diamonds and sapphires) and he will give me a larger ring for our wedding. That way, I can have what I want and he doesn't have to get into any debt to pay for it(neither of us currently have debt aside from our homes). It's also a bonus that I get a fun surprise on our wedding day!
Another option, if you don't want moissanite, is to purchase your ring at a jeweler who has a program where you can upgrade your ring later(by trading in your original smaller stone).
posted by ErinMarieMack 265 posts 9 months ago