Post # 1
Huge Dilemma- a fairly close friend of mine and her fiance, call them couple ONE (groom is one of my husbands best friends-he stood in our wedding) is getting married this summer. A good friend of mine (who was one of my bridesmaids), is also getting married this summer, couple TWO. Unfortunately, they are on the same day. My husband is standing in the wedding of couple ONE, and I was asked to stand in the wedding for couple TWO, provided I could make it. My friend, knowing about my previous commitment tried her hardest to find another date but it was not possible. Couple one announced their date in August and Couple two just recently announced theirs. The weddings are over 6 hours a part so it is not possible to make both of them. Any advice on what I should do?
ADDITION-We hang out a lot with the couple who’s wedding my husband is standing in, so although I am closer to the friend who asked me to stand in her wedding, I am still very close with the other couple…
Post # 3
@summerbride17: Life sucks sometimes. I am a firm beliver in honoring commitments, so if I had already received an invitation and rsvp’d , I would feel compelled to honor that.
If invitations have yet to be sent I would suggest that DH goes to his friend’s wedding and you go to yours.
Post # 4
I would go separate ways on that day and each have a blast at the wedding attended. You do not have to he attached at the hip at all times!
Post # 5
@summerbride17: Can you stand up for couple two, and your husband stand in for couple one? You could facetime/skype each other for a bit during the reception, so each of you can say “hi” to the other couple. Probably the easiest solution with the least hurt feelings all around.
Post # 6
Because bride 2 is already aware of the situation and seems to be pretty understanding, it seems like you have two options: 1) Politely decline her invite to be a bridesmaid and go together with your DH to the first wedding, 2) Agree to be a bridesmaid and attend that wedding solo, while your DH attends the other wedding as a groomsman. Personally, I’d lean towards the second option because I’d want to be there to support friends, even if my spouse can’t make it.
Post # 7
Why can’t you go to the wedding you’re in, and he go to the one he’s in?
Post # 8
@summerbride17: like PPs said, I’d lean towards each of you attending one wedding.
Post # 9
Each going to one wedding sounds like a great plan, but I am close to both couples…so it makes it a little more complicated…
Post # 10
@summerbride17: are they at the same time? You could stand in the wedding you agreed to, but atrend part of ceremony or reception before/after at the other wedding?
Post # 11
@little_d: They are at the same time…and a 6 hour drive apart, so even if I left the first wedding I was standing in after pictures, I wouldn’t make it back in time for the other reception 🙁
Post # 12
That’s a tough one! My first reaction is to part ways for the day so each couple has one of you but then you said you hang out regularly with couple One. I would really want to see their wedding. But you’re close enough to be in couple two’s wedding. What a dilemma.
They are six hours away? Any chance one is a morning wedding and the other a late evening? That would be a very rushed day but it could work.
Hmmm…can you skype one of the weddings? I know it’s not personal but you’ll get to see them get married. I hope you’ll let us know what you decide.
Post # 13
I had the same dilemma last year. I was a MOH for my best friend and my fiance was a groomsmen in his friends wedding. We were both friends of both people in the relationship so it was hard, but ultimately I couldn’t imagine missing my best friends wedding and he couldn’t imagine missing his friends, so we went to separate weddings.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I also am a firm believer in honoring the commitment you made first.
Post # 15
@summerbride17: Oh no! Ok my plan won’t work then. Agreed with pps- honour the original commitment you made, and maybe attend the other wedding’s rehearsal dinner so you can still celebrate with them in a way?
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I think if you were both just invited to the second wedding, then I can understand honoring your commitment and attending the first one together. But since you were invited to be a bridesmaid in the second wedding (and she was a BM for you), I think you should go to that wedding while your DH is a groomsman in the first. Wow, that’s a lot of pronouns. Did that make sense?