HELP! Two Weddings, One Day

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
42076 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@summerbride17:  Life sucks sometimes. I am a firm beliver in honoring commitments, so if I had already received an invitation and rsvp’d , I would feel compelled to honor that.

If invitations have yet to be sent I would suggest that DH goes to his friend’s wedding and you go to yours.

Post # 4
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would go separate ways on that day and each have a blast at the wedding attended.  You do not have to he attached at the hip at all times! 

Post # 5
405 posts
Helper bee

@summerbride17:  Can you stand up for couple two, and your husband stand in for couple one?  You could facetime/skype each other for a bit during the reception, so each of you can say “hi” to the other couple.  Probably the easiest solution with the least hurt feelings all around.

Post # 6
2657 posts
Sugar bee

Because bride 2 is already aware of the situation and seems to be pretty understanding, it seems like you have two options: 1) Politely decline her invite to be a bridesmaid and go together with your DH to the first wedding, 2) Agree to be a bridesmaid and attend that wedding solo, while your DH attends the other wedding as a groomsman.  Personally, I’d lean towards the second option because I’d want to be there to support friends, even if my spouse can’t make it.

Post # 7
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why can’t you go to the wedding you’re in, and he go to the one he’s in?

Post # 8
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@summerbride17:  like PPs said, I’d lean towards each of you attending one wedding.

Post # 10
4468 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@summerbride17:  are they at the same time? You could stand in the wedding you agreed to, but atrend part of ceremony or reception before/after at the other wedding? 

Post # 12
36 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s a tough one! My first reaction is to part ways for the day so each couple has one of you but then you said you hang out regularly with couple One. I would really want to see their wedding. But you’re close enough to be in couple two’s wedding. What a dilemma. 

They are six hours away? Any chance one is a morning wedding and the other a late evening? That would be a very rushed day but it could work. 

Hmmm…can you skype one of the weddings? I know it’s not personal but you’ll get to see them get married. I hope you’ll let us know what you decide. 

Post # 13
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I had the same dilemma last year. I was a MOH for my best friend and my fiance was a groomsmen in his friends wedding. We were both friends of both people in the relationship so it was hard, but ultimately I couldn’t imagine missing my best friends wedding and he couldn’t imagine missing his friends, so we went to separate weddings. 

Post # 14
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

I also am a firm believer in honoring the commitment you made first.

Post # 15
4468 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@summerbride17:  Oh no! Ok my plan won’t work then. Agreed with pps- honour the original commitment you made, and maybe attend the other wedding’s rehearsal dinner so you can still celebrate with them in a way?

Post # 16
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

I think if you were both just invited to the second wedding, then I can understand honoring your commitment and attending the first one together.  But since you were invited to be a bridesmaid in the second wedding (and she was a BM for you), I think you should go to that wedding while your DH is a groomsman in the first.  Wow, that’s a lot of pronouns.  Did that make sense?

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