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Did you or do you plan to
1) spend the night before the wedding with your groom?
1A) Would you consider the groom spending the night on the couch and you in the bed an acceptable way to get around the "Spend the night before the wedding apart" rule?
2) let your groom see you the morning of your wedding or at any time before you walk down the aisle?
We're in the middle of a fierce debate and I need some opinions.
Thanks!
FI and I plan on spending the night at separate places. I may be at home at him at a hotel or vice versa. We won't being see other before the wedding either.
We spent the night before together in our hotel suite. The morning of, he went over to his best man's room to get ready. My girls and I got ready in the suite. Then we did first look photos with the wedding party and parents before the ceremony. As you can tell, we're not very superstitious, lol!
1) spend the night before the wedding with your groom? No, I will be staying at our venue the night before.
1A) Would you consider the groom spending the night on the couch and you in the bed an acceptable way to get around the "Spend the night before the wedding apart" rule? No.
2) let your groom see you the morning of your wedding or at any time before you walk down the aisle? This is a tough one. I will not let him see me while I am getting ready, prior to the wedding, but we are considering doing a first look, prior to me walking down the aisle.
DH and I spent the night before our wedding is separate places. I stayed at the hotel with MOH and he stayed at our apt with some of his groomsmen. Also we did not see each other before the ceremony. I guess w'ere pretty traditional.
We don't live together, so we won't be sleeping together the night before. It seems silly to me to make him sleep on the couch. If you already live together, the cat's out of the bag on that one.
Also, I hope we'll see each other before the wedding, but not when I'm all dolled up. I'm not into the first look thing and would like to save that moment for the ceremony.
I just want to mention that the origin of the bride and groom not seeing each other pre-wedding is not superstition but actual precaution. The bride's family didn't want her virtue in question, and they didn't want her seen in case she was ugly/maimed/too young or old. The groom's family didn't want him seen for the same reasons as the bride, for fear that the bride would reject him before the ceremony. That's also where we get the lifting of the veil (veils weren't transparent back then); the groom lifts it to make sure he's marrying the girl he was told he was.
I'm not sure when it became "superstition", but we're doing a first look regardless of tradition. To answer your questions:
1. We don't know yet, depends on location of wedding.
2. Nah, I don't think that quite counts.
3. First look. I want to get the tears over with first, then relax while taking pictures, and I don't like cocktail hours.
Definitely will be spending the night before together. We'll both sleep better that way.
Not sure if we'll do the whole "first look" thing or not. I don't have a problem seeing each other before the ceremony in general, but dunno if I want him to see me in my dress.
We do not live together, so the night before isn't a question.
We will be doing a first look, so he'll see me on our wedding day before the aisle. :)
We're not. But we don't live together. So for us, it's the last night apart. But we're still deciding on the first look. He's not into it, but I think it's a great idea.
Not superstitious, but keeping the tradition :) no sleeping together or seeing each other before I walk down the aisle.
We'll be apart :( but only because we're getting married in our hometown, and both sets of parents live there. And they're in denial that we're cohabitating already, haha.
But we'll be hanging out the morning of the wedding (pre-wedding brunch with OOTers) and just before the ceremony (first look + pics THEN the wedding).
We are going 100% AGAINST tradition!
We are staying together the night before the wedding in our house and in our bed!
We are obviously seeing each other in the morning and having breakfast together.
And we are also doing a first look and pictures before the ceremony!
We're staying in the hotel suite together the night before (in the same bed), waking up, having breakfast, then parting ways by 11am, only to meet up again when I make my way down the aisle! :)
We don't live together but we will be spending the night before together (who better to fall asleep with but the man you are going to marry). That morning he will leave and get ready with his groomsmen and I will stay at our cabin and get ready with my brdesmaids.
We are doing a first look, so we are seeing each other before the ceremony. I totally understand not wanting to see each other before but for us it just works out better. Weddings are so chaotic, I want some time alone just him, me, and our wonderful photographers capturing the moment!
The superstitions of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding has nothing to do with preserving her virtue or virginity. It's left over from Biblical times when marriages were nothing more than business contracts (which stayed until the early part of the 20th century) and the bride was considered property transferred from one household to another. If the groom saw the bride before the ceremony and decided she wasn't physically appealing, he could break that contract and not have to marry her. Her virtue, etc was not affected since she would be arranged to marry someone else instead. This is also where the veil comes from as the bride's veil was thick material that no one could see through and was not removed until after the marriage was consummated to prevent the groom from backing out if he didn't like how she looked.
Since arranged marriages are not done today (at least in the Western world), there is no need to continue to adhere to an archaic superstition that does not apply to the majority of the world. Your marriage will not be doomed if you throw out those superstitions.
I live with my groom and we haven't been apart more than a day since we met, so - YES! We will be together the night before and the morning of and during the day. I believe getting married is a continuation, and a promise to continue, the relationship you ALL READY have. For us, that's what's up.
We spent the night before in the same bed (hotel room at our venue) and we also saw each other before the ceremony :)
Neither of us believes in superstitions, and we think they're kind of silly, so I wouldn't ever base a decision on something that supposedly will bring me bad luck. But I think everyone needs to do what they're comfortable with.
I'll tell you this, though. I'm a wedding vendor, and almost all my brides are totally up for seeing each other before the ceremony, but they have grooms that refuse. It's kind of funny.
No first look, no spending the night together, and it'd only count if there was no other way to handle the situation. We're having a destination wedding and staying in cabins, so we haven't figured out our game plan yet.
We are not spending the night together beforehand
I would not even consider sleeping in the same house - I have always thought I would sleep separately from my husband to be
We are not seeing each other before the ceremony at all - first time will be walking down the aisle!!
We did both! It didn't seem necessary to spend extra on another hotel room for him to say in, and plus, I always sleep better and fall asleep faster when he's there. We did a first look too, but the morning of the wedding he hung out and got ready in one of the groommen's room, so there was still a surprise when we saw each other all dressed up at our first look.
1. not sure
2. No way! The moment he sees me for the first time on our wedding day is going to be when i walk down the aisle. Not so much for superstition, but because I just really want my grand entrance to blow him away!
Before I read this thread I was certain that I'd be sleeping at a hotel and he'd sleep at home. We'd see each other just before the ceremony during our first look. Now however, I'm kinda thinking that it might be nice to see him the morning of, have breakfast, then go our separate ways for the day.
I've got a few months to figure this one out. FI really doesn't care one way or the other. He thinks I'm silly for worrying about it at all.
nope im having a slumber party with my bridesmaids and a couple friends because i know i will need the stress reliever, want to spend some time with the girls, and i dont want him in the same room as my dress and stuff (i want my look a surprise)
for the same reason we arent doing a first look or anything like that - the first time he sees me in the dress will be as i walk down the aisle! :)
its not superstitious to me, its more of a tradition.
We are spending the night before away from each other and he won't see me until I walk down the aisle.
it has become a tradition though, to not see the bride, just like carrying flowers. We don't smell bad anymore because we shower, but the bride still has the "traditional" bouquet.
I think of it exactly the same- a good but optional tradition.
I am staying at the bridal suite the night before. I do not plan on seeing him before I walk down the isle. Not superstitious I just think it is more fun that way.
@cbee: This is probably the nicest way i have ever heard to describe getting married. My recently-married friend was disappointed that nothing "changed" after she was wed so i'll share this with her.
As regards the orginal question(s): we're still a long way off even starting the planning - no date, location etc, his military operational commitments are getting in the way (grrr) so i can't say with any certainty, but...
1) probably will spend the night before together. I sleep better when i'm with him, especially if i'm nervous or excited.
1a) no, doesn't count. PLUS he deserves a good night's sleep before his big day, and i don't know many men who'd sleep so well on a couch.
2) I'd quite like to see his first reaction at the wedding, so while i'd probably see him the morning of, i wouldn't want to see him once we're all dolled up
We are spending the night together. We already live together, and there is no one I would rather be with the night before our wedding then HIM!
If I was getting married in my hometown, or had a house I had grown up in that my parents still lived at, I might reconsider. Our wedding is in our current city, my parents are the out of towners.
We are also planning on doing a first look, so he will see me before hand. We want to enjoy the cocktail hour, and EAT! 
I guess we are breaking all traditions!
We are going to see each other the night before, the morning of, and before the ceremony.
I wouldn't want the first time I see him on our wedding day to be when I'm worrying about 100 different things.
We have a 4 bedroom house but we're not letting anyone stay with us the night before because that's our time to be together. I think with friends arriving on Thursday and family coming in on Friday and Saturday and all the running around and entertaining that will be going on - it'll be nice to have some time that's just about US.
We were planning on NOT seeing each other at all the day of, but there was still SOOOOO much left to do (we had to do all set up and decorating ourselves...and when I say ourselves I mean just me & FI, ZERO help from friends or family....but that's a whole other story!) we both got up around 5am and got to work. Once I bailed to start having my hair done, though, we didn't see each other till the ceremony.
We're not superstitious, but we're keeping with tradition.
1. I am sleeping at my parents, he will be at the hotel. We'll say goodbye after the rehearsal dinner.
2. That wouldn't be "seperate" enough for me.
3. We're not seeing each other at all before I walk down the aisle.
we will sleep together at the hotel the night before. he gives me the most comfort and happiness and that is how i want to feel the night before, so that's who i'll be with :)
we'll say goodbye in the AM when i leave the hotel and then we'll reunite at the 'big reveal' during photos before the ceremony.
We spent the night before apart--I stayed at my parents' house, he stayed at our house. I don't think that him sleeping on the couch is necessary. If you're staying in the same house, then just share the bed. It's not about the actual sleeping location. And yes, we saw each other before I walked down the aisle. I had no intention of missing cocktail hour!!!
Same here! I can't imagine trying to sleep without him, not seeing him while we're getting ready & we are definitely doing pictures before the ceremony!
I don't want to wake up on my wedding day without him by my side, and so we'll stay together, and then separate after breakfast to get ready. Don't know yet if we'll do a first look.
We are staying at different houses the night before the wedding and I will not see him until we have our 1st look a couple hours before the ceremony.
We spent the night together and saw eachother often throughout the morning, in partial states of having hair/makeup done. We also did a photographic first look.
1) spend the night before the wedding with your groom? No, I will be staying at a hotel the night before with my ladies. We don't want to see each other at all and I wanted a night of girl talk and giggling.
1A) Would you consider the groom spending the night on the couch and you in the bed an acceptable way to get around the "Spend the night before the wedding apart" rule? Nope. Doesn't count.
2) let your groom see you the morning of your wedding or at any time before you walk down the aisle? We won't be because we really want to see each other when I walk down the aisle.
We will not be spending the night before together (I'll be in the hotel suite and he'll be at home), but we are having a first look.
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