Post # 1
Before we got married we had chosen names.actually I think we had those picked before we got engaged.
fast forward to the beginning of this year when it becomes known that others we know are expecting. We both agree that after the wedding we want time to ourselves first. Seems reasonable. June comes and goes in a whirlwind of emotion. the wedding, a death, our honeymoon. Jeesh. We made it to July and we got to start enjoying our time as newlyweds. Sept 20. 3 months almost 4 after my wedding and into the 2 year waiting period we had decided until having kids… well you all know why I’m posting here.
its possible I suppose that this is a mistest. So I guess through the blinds of fear I am peaking out and asking for help. What are your suggestions. keep in mind that we did plan on having kids just no to so soon. Abortion is off the table religious and personal reasons back that up.
What tips and words of wisdom do you have for this bee who is buzzing around with her head chopped off?( I will be getting setting a doctor appointment in the morning)
Post # 3
If it’s a baby, I’d say congratulations. Something new to look forward to and celebrate. Can’t change the past so embrace it..
Post # 4
I suppose i should clarify too that I do want this baby if it turns out that way. We know what we were doing when we did it and the consequences it could have. I suppose we just were hoping to dodge that bullet. ah well
I am hoping that other expectant moms and even those that have a few kids already will have advice for getting through this pregnancy
Post # 5
I agree with the PP. You said you dont want to have a abortion, so just go with it. As you know, life does not go as planned sometimes. You still have 9 months to enjoy with your husband before the baby comes.
Post # 6
@LaTortuga: I would say congratulations, and I wish I were in your shoes… Trying to get pregnant and have it not happen is heartbreaking.
Post # 7
I have to say that I know how you’re feeling. DH and I got pregnant with our baby 3 days after we got married! We had a whoops, and we went and bought plan b the next day. I thought we were in the clear. About a month later, my period still hadn’t come (I just thought the plan b screwed up my cycle). I had a test and decided to take it at 3AM. BAM, I’m 6 weeks pregnant. We both wanted kids, but we wanted to wait at least 6 months before we started trying. We had also just moved all the way across the country from our friends and family the day after we got married.
I came back to the bedroom and DH says “Are you okay?” and I say “I’m pregnant.” We both cried (not happy tears). We definitely freaked out, and it took some time to adjust to the reality that we are going to be parents. We still have our tough moments, but our daughter is due Novemeber 18th, and we’re getting excited. It’s like that saying, we make plans and God laughs.
Post # 8
I’m at the end of a very desperately wanted and worked-hard-for pregnancy, so I didn’t start in the same position, but I have been amazed at how long 9 months is in many ways. There is lots of time to get your head around the concept, to prepare and to get excited, so don’t worry if the excitement doesn’t kick in straight away! And, even if you get morning sickness in the first few months (which you might not!), there’s lots of time where you don’t even “feel” pregnant, so you can still have that precious “you and hubby” time together.
Hang in there, feel whatever you feel, and I’m sure you’ll be over the moon at some stage 🙂 All the very best!!
Post # 9
Thanks ladies! we do count this as a blessing. Scary doesn’t begin to cover it but this is a well wanted child in an unwanted time. If any ladies have tips for morning sickness or tips on what to expect i’d love to hear them.
Post # 10
@LaTortuga: Been there! Am there now! lol. We weren’t planning to try until next year and well….. I got pregnant this year. My husband immediately had the best attitude about it. I was SO scared to tell him because I thought he’d be upset, but he was just like– “wow this kid must really be meant to be. we’re so lucky this fell in our laps and we never had to try!” and he is SO right. As scary as it is to have your plans not work out exactly as to timing, you just have to have faith that this IS the right time and that it will be perfect. So far I can tell you— morning sickness sucks but you’ll get through. Eating every 1-2 hours (small things) has helped me a lot, along with sipping pop when I’m feeling really terrible (the bubbles seem to calm my stomach). Congrats!
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club
We planned on having a baby after we were married, instead we had to move our wedding date back to accomodate this pregnancy! I wouldn’t change a thing either. Embrace your surprise baby, and being scared is COMPLETELY normal!
I found dry biscuits (crackers?) really helped with my MS. Keep up your fluid intake and snack regularly. Some foods might put an awful aftertaste in your mouth – avoid those. Also, some foods might give you heartburn – avoid those too.
Post # 12
I understand where you’re coming from. DH and I were going to start trying this past April, with hopes that I would get a BFP in June/July so I could have the baby around March/April and go straight into summer vacation. We had started trying in April, and near the end of the month, I was offered a job in something I’ve always wanted to do (still in education, but teaching something different). It would require me to be there in April/May. When I accepted it, we decided to hold off TTC.
I accepted the job and three days later…BFP. It was something we had planned for, and something we had wanted, but I wanted to push it off a little too late. DH was calm and super supportive, insisting that we could make everything work and it would be okay. I was scared, upset, and afraid about what would happen. Would I still be able to manage making this change? Would my bosses be okay with me going on maternity? I ended up in my boss’s office on Monday morning, in tears, explaining everything. Thankfully, both ended up being super supportive, and I had the summer to wrap my mind around everything.
Our little guy is due in January, and while I’m a little nervous about up and leaving for the maternity leave, I couldn’t be more excited to welcome our little one :-). I think that it’s a totally normal feeling to feel upset, scared, all of those things…no matter how long or short you may think you have wanted this.
Post # 13
So, we were actively trying and I was still scared shitless when I got a BFP. I spent most of my pregnancy going through the motions and not feeling particularly excited (though now I actually miss being pregnant!)
DD is now 4 1/2 months old and she is absolutely incredible. I still have moments where I’m terrified of somehow “failing” as a mother and sometimes I do miss my freedom but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. I look at her beautiful little face and I can’t believe she’s mine. Babies are amazing little things.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@LaTortuga: Unready for doesn’t mean unloved. Give yourself some time to confirm that is is true and to get over the fact that your timelime has been sped up by a few years. It will be okay, in fact, it will be great once you have that baby in your arms.
As for morning sickness, I tried everything. Ginger chews, fresh ginger, seabands, etc… Most worked for at least a day or two and then the MS got worse. I ended up on Zofran and Phenergan because I couldn’t keep anything down. Try to keep food on your stomach constantly because that does help; I kept a box of Special K at my desk and pretty much ate around the clock. I still lost 10 pounds in the first few weeks from throwing up so much but I am especially sensitive to hormones and have been since I started taking birth control years ago. Make sure to drink lots of water so you don’t get dehydrated and end up in the ER like I did.
Post # 15
@LaTortuga: First, congrats. Second, it is ok to feel scared, whether you felt ready or not. Babies never seem to come at a convenient time because there IS no convenient time. That being said, we moved up our TTC date, and when we got pregnant I flipped out because I was so lost. I still am. I posted on here on Saturday because I was almost in tears over the difference between a crib, pack n play, sleeper, and bouncer.
It’s scary, but you will love this child and things will work out. You have time to be along with your husband before the baby is born. Enjoy that time 🙂
Post # 16
@beachbride1216: I agree with this I had the same problem couldn’t keep anything down the zofran worked wonderes and now it dissolves so no water need which is nice. Congrats on potential baby to be. Let us know when you know for sure.