Post # 1
Hi bees, I’m newly engaged and I’m just wondering if this is normal or if anyone can relate.
I’m having total wedding planning apathy. Maybe it’s (partly) because I have no idea where to start. I’m also pretty sure that it’s partly that a giant, girly, iridescent satin covered “factory wedding” wedding is definitely not for me.
I really do want some kind of a wedding, to meaningfully symbolize our coming together and starting our marriage. Something… not sloppy or so “easy” that we’ll easily forget it. No casual walk down to the courthouse for sure. I know I want us to dress formal and there to be pictures…. and that’s about all I know.
This would be great if Fiance had specific ideas for what kind of wedding he wants, but he doesn’t seem to know, either (however, he may have expectations he’s not voicing or fully aware of yet).
I also don’t really know who in our lives really wants to be there for it, who could “take it or leave it” and who would rather spend the day regrouting their bathroom tiles. I’m happy to have people who want to be there to be there, and I really don’t want to feel like anyone was ony there out of obligation. Let’s say it could range from just the 2 of us to maybe 50 guests (wild guess).
As you can see, it’s just a bunch of ??? all around!
Can anyone relate? Is there such a thing as a semi-elopment or micro-wedding? Are there elopement or micro-wedding blogs out there?
Post # 3
I would start by looking at things that are less wedding-specific, like venues and caterers.
Have you thought about a wedding timeline? Do you want summer/fall/winter/spring/don’t care?
Have you considered who you want there as you get married?
I would look at those things and save the dress/details for later.
Post # 4
@peachacid: I don’t know which venues to look at because I don’t know the size, KWIM? There isn’t anyone I feel I must have there besides Fiance, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want people there if they wanted to be. I think FI only feels his mom must be there (but he’s being very vague and non-committal on even that).
As for timeline, I’d love to just be married already, but I’m fine with it taking the time it takes.
Post # 5
First of all, you sound a little overwhelmed by the possible choices. Not in an anxious kind of way, but like you said…don’t know where to start. You said you want a meaningful, symbolic kind of ceremony event. That’s a great start. I would suggest letting all of the other details go for a while and focus on clarifying the image of the ceremony you want. You can start by just looking at you and Fiance at the altar/front/etc to feel a tone then start “panning out” so to speak to take in a little more of the picture when pieces become clearer.
Don’t worry about the guest list, the specific food, or anything that isn’t solely about you, your Fiance, and what y’all want for each other right now. The other details will come together in the right time.
Hopefully that helps. Oh and lastly and most importantly…congratulations!!
Post # 6
Congratulations on your engagement! =) You have the rest of your engagement to think about the details. Now you can focus on you and your Fiance and just soaking in the start of your next chapter together.
I do completely understand how you feel though. Fiance says I have monthly wedding breakdowns lol. Mainly because I envisioned a small, intimate wedding just like you but am ending up with a much larger one.
My best piece of advice is to take your time making decisions. You don’t need to know your date or venue or even city right away. Because I was so focused on planning this or deciding that on a certain date, I lost sight of the type of wedding I really wanted. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and make rash decisions (like guestlist) that you may later regret.
Seriously, enjoy this time while you can! Because the planning part is really not so fun (at least not for me) lol. And the more you get “settled” into being engaged, certain decisions will be much easier.
Also, apracticalwedding.com is a great resource