Help! Weird/creepy neighbor kid (kind of long)

posted 3 years ago in Home
Post # 3
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We have a kid like this in our neighborhood. It sounds like your neighbor kid is autistic. The kid in my neighborhood randomly walks up to everyone, starts talking to them like it’s typical behavior to just bombard someone as they’re carrying tons of groceries into their house or something. I don’t mind the kid anymore. I say hi to him when he rides his bike around and if he comes over to talk or something and I’m not in the mood or I’m busy, I’m just super direct with him and tell him I can’t talk right now, I’m busy, and I walk away. He doesn’t take offense to it or anything because he doesn’t really process emotions.

I’m not saying you’re overreacting, but I’m willing to bet the kid is autistic. Maybe talk to his parents about him coming over? Or just try to be more direct to him and just tell him you’re having private adult time, and he has to go home now.

Post # 4
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I do not think you are overreacting at all. The kid’s behavior is inappropriate. You mentioned he did seem sort of socially awkward. Josh might have something else going on with him that makes him act inappropriately, or it could just be a weird kid.

  I think you definitely have to let the parents know, as difficult as that conversation may be. Just stick to the facts, that he has been coming over, uninvited, while you’ve had company, and it makes you feel uncomfortable…especially since it’s been after 11pm. I would definitely do it before it escalates into something else.

  I’m sorry you have to deal with this :-(.

Post # 5
5793 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You’re totally overreacting. He sounds like a socially awkward teenager. And really, who isn’t awkward when they’re a teenager? He sounds bored and a little lonely, and really what teenager isn’t going to jump at the chance to hang out with the cool adults that just moved in? I think if you set some boundaries for him, things will be fine.

Plus I don’t automatically associaye this behavior with him being autistic. Maybe the last people that lived in that house didn’t mind him just stopping by and he doesn’t know any better, since he’s just a teenager and not fully aware of proper manners and all.

Post # 6
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds like the kid is lonely. sorta feel bad for him:( 


@PaisleyMedic:   Usually, those with autism are socially inept. 

Post # 7
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Stace126:  you and your fi should go over to his house and introduce yourselves to his parents.  let his parents know the situation and let them handle it.

Post # 8
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I do think a conversation with the parents is in order.  That not only might nip the problem, but it’ll cover your butt, too, so the parents don’t catch him there one night and get all WTF on you.  I’d be willing to bet the kid has some kind of issues going on, be it autism or just being a weird kid or a lousy home life. Either way, having a better idea what his deal is can help you deal with him.

And get that fence up ASAP; I’d suggest a nice six-foot vinyl one that you can’t see through.


Post # 9
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Stace126:  Chill out. He’s probably lonely, and maybe the people who lived there before you were OK with his behavior. You have every right to ask him to leave if you don’t want him there. Think about this though… he’s 17. Nearly an adult. It’s not like he’s 10 and his parents should be telling him to be home before sundown. If he’s anything like I was at that age he probably drinks with his friends and hangs out with people in their 30’s too occasionally. You don’t have to invite him in, but don’t get freaked out and treat him like a little kid.

Post # 11
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You did not overeact! I am shocked that some people are saying you did. Its good to set boundries now before he starts walking into your house or somthing.

Post # 12
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s definitely a little weird.  I would go and talk to his parents.  It’s also possible that he didn’t realize you were so much older?  Maybe he thought you were in your early 20’s and therefore the age gap wasn’t so large.  He does sound rather socially awkward and doesn’t seem to understand boundaries.  Visit the parents and feel them out, let them know that their sons behaviour is making you uncomfotable.  

I do feel bad for him, and I would hate for the rejection to be taken in a way that makes him feel really bad and become introverted and more socially isolated.

Post # 13
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Perhaps he’s home alone at night and lonely?  If he’s this socially awkward, I can’t imagine he has many friends and if his parent are out at night, he probably spends a lot of time alone.  I don’t think he did anything horrible, but it is a little odd.

Post # 14
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You’re not overreacting. I think you should talk to his parents, but like another poster said, make sure you stick to the facts. Don’t tell his parents how you FEEL about it. Just tell them that he’s coming over uninvited late at night, that there are adults and alcohol present, and that you would like him to refrain from coming over again unless invited. 

Then, obviously, never invite him. 

I’m a big believer in trusting your gut. If you get a creepy vibe off him or the situation, tell him to leave. Be direct and be aware of your safety. Don’t let any bees tell you that you should relax. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to other people why you feel creeped out, but if you do, trust it. (This goes for every situation in life.)

Make sure you get a fence that’s secure and that he can’t see through!

Post # 15
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, this is weird. I was a socially awkward 17 year old and I stayed AT HOME. I would go speak with his parents.

Post # 16
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

1) Your neighbor is trying to get to know you. Please do not be afraid of him; he is reaching out in the only way he knows how.

2) Are you and your husband open to being a presence in any way in this kid’s life? You are of course not obligated, but it sounds like he is quite lonely and could use company. You could make a positive impact if you are interested/willing.

3) If you are not willing, then you need to have a sit-down chat with him and tell him: “I appreciate your neighborly interest, but we don’t think it’s appropriate for you to come over here uninvited. We don’t want to get your parents involved, so please don’t come over again.” It is very harsh, but he doesn’t seem to be picking up on social cues, so that’s probably your only option and less cowardly than going to his parents to get him to stop (esp. given that he’s almost legally an adult).

4) If you ARE willing to be a presence in this kid’s life, you still need to set clear boundaries. Sit him down and say “Look, it’s inappropriate for you to come over uninvited when we have other guests here. We are all older than you and don’t feel comfortable when you come over unannounced. However, you seem like a cool kid and we would love to have you and your parents over for a game night. How does that sound?” My guess is that he wants to hang out with the “cool” adults, and once you start relating to him more as a kid, he’ll lose interest. Either way, for your sake and for his, you need to set clear boundaries. 

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors