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i've been looking and finding it hard to find non-religious hymns.. - i'm assuming you arent having a mass, and just the wedding so the rules around that may be a bit different
i pulled this from catholic wedding help: "Remember, though, that a Catholic wedding (even one outside of Mass) is a liturgy. The whole thing, from beginning to end, is a prayer. That's why the Church says that all music used in its liturgy should be easily identifiable as prayer."
i would suggest talking to your priest and seeing what hymns they allow - he should be able to give you a list that you can choose from.
why does it HAVE to be religious? I would think amazing grace would be religious---"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound! That saved a wretch like me?" Not trying to be rude, but IMO it is fairly religious.
@totheislnds:You're right, it's not a nuptial mass, just a wedding service (it's not possible to have a nuptial mass if one of you is not baptised, and in any case we didn't want a nuptial mass).
We have the hymn book from the church, but are still a bit stuck. One problem is that I know very few hymns from the lyrics, i.e having read through the book there are only about 5 that I think I know! I'm wondering if there might be any hymns out there that have a famous tune that I do know, but less famous lyrics, that I might have missed when looking through the hymn book.
like I said before, any suggestions would be great.
thank you!
@jellyspoons: What about "Will Your Anchor Hold"? Although it is not all airy, the lyrics are about strong and steadfast which is sometimes what marriage is about.
Some others:
Oh Promise Me
Oh promise me that someday you and I, Will take our love together to some sky.
Where we can be alone and faith renew, And find the hollows where those flowers grew.
Those first sweet violets of early spring, Which come in whispers thrill us both and sing
Of love unspeakable that is to be, Oh promise me, oh promise me.
Oh promise me that you will take my hand, The most unworthy in this lonely land.
And let me sit beside you in your eyes, Seeing the vision of our paradise.
Hearing God's message while the voices roll, They're mighty music to our very souls.
No love less perfect than a life with thee, Oh promise me, oh promise me.
What about some classical music that can pass for religious music? Or what about "I Will Follow Him" (sung in Sister Act). It sounds like a hymn, but isnt it a a love song too? :)
@jellyspoons: We are doing having a Catholic Ceremony outside of mass as well since FH isn't Catholic. We chose not to have additional music and for everything where music was "necessary" we chose Classical Tunes, which meant no picking hymns.
Honestly all hymn are religious, they all have a religious meaning or undertone. If you dont want religious then you can try choosing other music rather than hymns
Most Catholics aren't evangelical or into creationism. :)
Is any mention of a creator off limits for you? There are a some really charming songs by the St. Louis Jesuits that have a lot of references to nature in them, but many (most?) also reference a creator here and there.
Sing to the mountains, sing to the sea
Raise your voices, lift your hearts
This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad
That was always one of my favorite songs as a kid. :)
Dan Schutte also wrote a lot of upbeat, contemporary songs that we sung at mass when I was younger. I think the references are a little stronger in his stuff.
@mattandhaley616:Not rude at all!
I agree that basically all hymns are religious. This is kind of the problem. We're getting married in a Catholic church (in England) as my fiance is Catholic and therefore it is very important to him to get married there. However, I am strongly atheist and find it pretty uncomfortable singing hymns about stuff I don't believe in. For example, when I have been to friends' weddings in recent years in Churches, I have not sung the hymns if I perceive them to have meanings which I don't believe in.
It is fairly subjective, I agree, and I can see that Amazing Grace was written with the intention that Grace = God/religion, however I can also interpret it to mean the amazing grace of our relationship (this sounds v soppy now!) i.e. "I once was lost but now am found" to mean I was lost spiritually before I got together with my fiance. (Rather than the intended meaning of being lost before you find god).
I would much rather have completely secular songs, but unfortunately the Church don't allow this!
Can you just have the organ play with no lyrics? How do you feel about Ava Maria? Or On Eagles Wings?
@exoticmariee:Hmmmm thank you for the suggestions!
Will your anchor hold - 90% of this is fine but there are just a few too many references to the Saviour being the thing that keeps you safe against the storm... which jars a bit against my own (non-)beliefs. Also, whilst an easy tune to pick up, I don't think many of our guests will actually know it.
Oh Promise me - I like the lyrics a lot! :) Buuuut unfortunately I don't think it will be allowed as a hymn in our service, as it isn't really a religious hymn.
This is the crux of the problem - I don't want any religious hymns, but all hymns are religious!! <sigh> at least we're starting our married life having got good at compromising by going through all this!
@magilnyc: That's what I was gonna say...what about instrumental versions of hymns? No singing/words involved, just beautiful music! :)
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: Sing to the mountains, sing to the sea - I like the chorus of this one, and the tune is nice too (AND it's in the hymn book the church has given us.). But I'm not so sure about the mentions of "you have saved my soul from death" and "he has turned all death to life"....
I guess whilst my biggest problem is with creationism and evangelism, I also feel a bit uncomfortable singing lyrics like this which I feel hypocritical singing because I don't believe in it. And these lyrics are quite explicit, I can't pretend to myself I'm singing about something else!
Ave Maria won't work--it can be played before the ceremony, but since the service isn't celebrating Mary, it can't be played. To be perfectly honest, I don't think you're going to find a hymn that suits your needs. All hymns are going to be evangelistic, it's kind of the point. I really like Make Me a Channel of Your Peace and think it's less evangelistic than Amazing Grace (which actually makes me think of funerals)--I think it's just kind of about being a good person, but it's up to you and your taste.
My FI is atheist (well, really agnostic...he uses atheist to get Fundamentalist Christians to shudder) and we're getting married in the Catholic church. He's letting me pick out everything because he knows that being in a church does not afford much leeway to what we may want otherwise. I say, just pick a tune that sounds pretty and go with it.
well... you could always ask opinions of the priest or other member of the church - if they have a wedding planner or something. Well. bachabells canon is good (no words), Amazing Grace, Joyful Joyful we are Joyful, Morning has Broken. Of course - what about not having any signing - just music? You can always choose not to sing.
Ugh, that reads a little crappy. Basically, I know where you're coming from. I have had issues with my ceremony as well and I'm a little downtrodden about some things I'd really like to do but can't in the church. I've kind of given up and will be having the traditional music with traditional songs and am silently cursing my parents for saying how disappointed they would be if I didn't get married in the church.
@biscuit:Thank you to everyone who has suggested music without words. I think that is a really good idea, and we haven't really considered it enough. I guess we had just been guided by our priest who told us the usual order of service includes 2 hymns.
We are actually having my cousin sing Ave Maria whilst we sign the register. Whilst I realise it is a prayer to Mary, it is in Latin and also I don't actually have to sing it myself! So I'm happy to have this (especially as this is something that means a lot to my fiance) and won't feel uncomfortable hearing my cousin sing it.
We are actually having to have the Lord is my shepherd as part of the wedding, as the responsorial psalm! Plus the readings and gospel etc etc - so there will be a lot of mentioning of God/religion, which I accept comes with having a catholic ceremony, but it would just be nice for me if I could sing out the hymns and enjoy them without stressing about what I'm singing!
I'll talk to my fiance and our priest about the possibility of just having 1 hymn rather than 2, and having other organ music to make up for it.
@jellyspoons: I think that part (of Sing to the Mountains) is just a verse, right? You could have the musicians skip that verse. :)
If the hymnal they gave you has an index by author, try a few more St. Louis Jesuit songs. Almost all of their stuff has a upbeat tempo. You might be able to use a few and just omit a verse here and there.
I love amazing grace but it is often played at funerals. When ever I hear it it reminds me of people I have lost and makes me cry. So as much as you want to see people cry for joy at your wedding lol, many might be crying because this song is a reminder of losing a loved one. Just throwing that out there! Not trying to be a downer, i'm just letting you know that some people may feel that way hearing Amazing Grace.
@Rgeddy:Hi Rgeddy. We're walking in to pachelbel's cannon, and we're having amazing grace as the first hymn.
Morning has broken I dislike for a number of reaons - one is that I really dislike Cat Steven's version (he makes it sound really trite/twee), secondly in choirs/congregations it always seems to drag slowly, and thirdly it is about all the sights and sounds of morning "springing fresh from the Word" i.e. it is about how God has made everything beautiful around us. This grates with me as I am a strong believer in evolution rather than creationism.
Joyful joyful is OK, not in our hymnbook though. I'm not a massive fan of the words. They are OK I guess.
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: It doesn't have an index by author, to be honest, it's a catholic hymn book from the UK, I doubt it would have any St Luis Jesuit hymns!
Skipping a verse may be possible, I'm not really sure. I guess I'd have to discuss with the priest.
@biscuit: I know exactly what you mean about feeling a bit downtrodden about the rules as to what we're allowed in church. I know that on the big day during the ceremony, I will feel uncomfortable every time the priest says "in the name of the father the son and the holy spirit" etc, because to me it seems entirely hypocritical to be standing up in front of all our friends and family and seeming to agree with all the words that are used, when in reality I'm atheist and don't believe in any of it!
To be honest, I think we'd have got married years ago had it not been for the religious differences between us (we've been going out for 8 years now!).
I think I've just got to accept to some extent that I won't enjoy the ceremony, but that it is important for my fiance.
What I can't quite decide in my own mind is how far I'm willing to compromise on the lyrics of hymns, to get one with a nice tune. I do really like the tune and 90% of Make Me and Channel of Your Peace, for example, but am just a bit put off by the phrase "and where there's doubt <let me bring> true faith in you". Also the last line - <it is> in dying that we're born to eternal life. - I find problematic too.
:-S
@MissCallieJean: I realise some people associate Amazing Grace with funerals - although I think I'm right in saying that this is probably more the case in America than in the UK? In the UK Amazing Grace is the number 1 hymn chosen by couples on the Church of England website for their wedding!
The top 10 on this site were:
I don't have any suggestions for you, but I want you know I kind of understand what you're going through. I'm agnostic and marrying a Christian and I feel like there are so many compromises that need to be made in order to make a wedding and marriage work. Music isn't an issue for us, but we're having my FI's father (a minister) officiate and I know he'll want to work Bible quotes into the ceremony, which we wanted to be completely secular. I'll probably just deal with it because all I want is to marry my FI, even if I end up feeling slightly alienated during the ceremony. The way I see it, the ceremony is just one small part of the wedding day. Yes, it's an important part, but it only lasts a few minutes and then you have your whole lives together to look forward to. Just my two cents.
I think, if you’re an atheist, there is going to be a problem with ANY hymn. The point is that it is written specifically as a worship song, therefore inherently has many references to God ect. I agree with some PP, find just music versions.
Honestly if I were a guest at your wedding and knew you were (what appears to be) a fairly staunch atheist, I really would raise an eyebrow at singing hymns. I might be biased because I feel singing hymns is a sacred thing, and shouldn't be done by those who don't believe them. I would respectfully stand silent at a celebration of a religion not my own when they sang a holy song, but at YOUR wedding, when you don't believe it.... it just seems odd.
Ah! I didn't realize you were in the UK. Sorry. The pieces I'm referencing won't say "St. Louis Jesuits." Some of their last names were Schutte, Dufford, O'Connor, and Foley (I'm sure there are more of them). The names Schutte and Dufford are all over modern hymnals...they wrote a ton of songs.
Some of them left the order and still composed.
I think it's totally find to ask for certain verses to be omitted if there a line or two you don't like. I guess most of us are a bit hypocritical in that we sing these songs all the time, but understand the historical context for the stories in the Bible. I don't actually believe the world was created in seven days, but I probably sing songs that you view as creationist. My biology teaching mom taught us about evolution when we were teeny tiny. :)
@jellyspoons: oh wow. I'm sorry I missed the part about it being in the UK. sorry. Yea that could be true. I know in the US it is very much used alot for funerals because its about forgiveness and redemption and that you can be delivered from despair.
But could you find a hymn that you like and either use instrumental music (like others have said) or take the meaning behind the song and change it to fit your beliefs? Like instead of it being the love of God, it could be the love of your husband? I hope you can find something, unfortunately hymns are prayers in song form and it (as you know) will be difficult to find one that isn't.
Good luck, if I run across one i'll post it!
@chasesgirl:You know what,, a large part of me really does agree with you. I feel uncomfortable with having a religious ceremony at all, and I feel especially uncomfortable singing hymns that I don't believe.
But, on the other hand, I do want to marry my FI and he is catholic, and so after much soul searching we decided jointly that him feeling like we were properly married was more important than me feeling a bit uncomfortable, hence we're in this position now!
I may yet end up standing silently at my own wedding through the hymns, that's certainly an option. Although I think people in the UK tend to be less religious than in the US and whilst most people here end up getting married in church, most people aren't religious! So I don't think I would really offend that many people by having hymns and being atheist...
Right, talking of my hubby to be, he's just walked in the door - time to go say hi to him! thanks for all your suggestions.
Have you thought about "For the Beauty of the Earth"? It could definitely be seen as creation-related, but my favorite part is how it talks about being grateful for family and friends, which for me is one of the most important parts of a wedding. It's also fairly well-known and easy to sing. You could pick which verses are acceptable and only do those.
If you go the route of playing a hymn without the words... I wonder if they'd let you get away with 'O God, Beyond All Praising'. Now, I realize you wouldn't agree with the words... BUT, the tune is the same (and would be most recognized especially in the UK) as 'I Vow to Thee, My Country'! Both origainlly taken from Gustav Holst, The Planets (Jupiter). Just an idea. :)
@jellyspoons: my parents are in the same situation.
my dad (the athiest) likes the hymn "I danced in the Morning". It could be about anything. It's a bit religious, but all hymns are.
@francypants: We're doing that one! Woohoo!
Actually OP FI & I are in the same situation as you, but reversed (I'm the Catholic). He also is having a difficult time getting his head around singing about God. But we've talked about it a bunch, and we're both really into history, so we're approaching it from the perspective that if we use songs that were around in the 1700-1800s, the mentions of God aren't nearly as much of a problem for him. I.e. he is singing out of respect for his ancestors, who sang the same songs.
I'm not saying this approach works for you, but think of songs not solely based on their lyrics but also their history. Many a church song was originally a secular tune with religious lyrics applied (think Greensleeves/What Child Is This). Kind of what @NC Girl: is saying.
@jedeve: Exactly.
OP, you might be reading your own assumptions about the Catholic religion in to some of these hymms. Catholics believe in evolution, and this has been confirmed by the vatican. The hymms you've mentioned regarding "creationism" then are not really about creationism.
jedeve and Sunshining- ditto to both your comments, about to say the same thing exactly!
As another UK bride thought I'd throw in that Amazing Grace is not a funeral song here (as previosuly mentioned) - I love it, it makes me smile and we're having it during the signing of the register.
I guess it must be differnt in the UK because I've sang at a lot of Catholic wedding and they have been very lenient on what was sung during mass. I've sung pop songs, musical theater songs, classical songs and no one said anything was wrong with that. Probably because there was the traditional, lord is my shepard, eagles wing, ave maria mixed in there as well. I'm pretty sure the last wedding I sang in there were no traditional hymns sung at all
@jellyspoons:I Have Loved You is beautiful and is in all the Catholic hymn books.
My suggestion... "All I Ask Of You" by Gregory Norbet
Chorus: All I ask of you is forever to remember me, as loving you.
V1: Deep the joy of being together in one heart and for me that's just where it is.
V2: As we make our way thorugh all the joys and pain, can we sense our younger truer selves?
V3: Someone will be calling you to be there for a while. Can you hear their cry from deep within?
V4:Laughter, joy, and presence; the only gifts you are! Have you time? I'd like to be with you.
V5 (probably omit 
) Persons come into the fiber of our lives and then their shadows fade and disappear... but (chorus)
I think your best bet is going to be foregoing lyrics and sticking with instrumentals. I also find it odd that you don't like Make Me a Channel of Your Peace as that's the ONE hymn people of little/no faith usually like because it promotes peace/love etc.
Set me as a seal by Matt Maher is based on an old testament scripture passage but it's a love song so can just be about you and your husband....
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Hello,
I am marrying my fiance in 6 weeks' time and we need to decide what hymns to have. My fiance is catholic, whilst I am atheist. We are marrying in a Catholic church but are trying to keep the hymns as non-religious as possible.
Basically, I don't want any hymns which either promote evangelising, or are about creationism.
So far we have agreed on Amazing Grace. We are considering Give me Joy in My Heart though we're a bit worried it's a bit primary - school esque.
We have ruled out a LOT of hymns (including: All things bright and beautiful/Morning has broken - too much about creationism, All love divine all loves excelling / make me a channel of your peace - too much about becoming christian).
We're a bit stuck! Any ideas???
It also has to be a fairly well-known tune!
Thank you :)