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well you have options which is great. i'm really sorry that your pastor hasn't been more helpful - maybe the internet isn't his thing? does the church have a wedding coordinator that you could be directing your questions to? i'd call him to try and settle things that you're iffy about and see if there's any resolution. like "hello, this is Carolina, you're marrying FH and I in about 2 months so I wanted to see if we could schedule a time to go over details x, y & z" either on the phone or in person if possible. that will let him know you're ready to get to it and give him the chance to get his questions/things you've sent him in order and better help you. if he blows you off? then go with one of your uncles instead! good luck!
@CarolinaBride9: It sounds like you need to address this. You or your parents could speak with him and say how you always thought that he would officiate your wedding, but you were hoping for more in depth premarital counselling and you realize that he has many parishioners and community obligations and with that in mind does he think that he could either provide that or since you are close to two other pastors should you seek the advice of one them.
@CarolinaBride9: I would agree with what's been said so far: communicate with him that you'd like to discuss some things!
Thank you all so much--I called and have a meeting scheduled with him for this week, fingers crossed it goes well!
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Bees,
This is my first post on here a little more than 50 days out from my wedding. I've come to the hive for research help but now I'm dealing with something that I definitely need advice with. My officiant.
When I first got engaged, I always thought my childhood pastor would be the person to marry me. I asked him several months ago (approximately 5) and he accepted. Since then, dealing with him has been beyond frustrating.
FI and I both wanted to go through pre-marital counseling just because we both thought it's a good idea to talk through all of the things that come with marriage. We also thought it would be good to discuss things we maybe haven't thought about. Initially, our pastor sent us a set of 20 questions about 3 months ago. We finished them in two days. The day after we finished the questions he said he'd send us another set and follow up with a phone conference (we live in different states).
We received the next set of questions. Three months later. Still haven't gotten a phonecall.
Every time I e-mail him asking for an update or for further assistance the only response I get is how busy he is and that we will talk in the near future. I also asked him to review the tenative ceremony schedule and let me know if there are any changes due to the ceremony programs going to print. His only response to that was "that's a detailed outline".
When I think of my wedding ceremony the first thing I think of is being married by someone who at least cares about you (or your wedding going smoothly) and the closer we get to the wedding the more I don't know if he is the person for the job, or if he even cares to be.
Two of my uncles are also pastors and I could ask them to step in if needed.
Any advice on what I should do? Should I just stick with this pastor (he is the pastor of my parents current church), should I talk to him and tell him my concerns, or should I just get rid of him and have family members step in?
Thanks in advance for your help.