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I found bridesmiad dresses i am in LOVE with!!! I have been searching for 6 months (since ive been engaged to my man) and finally found one i like. however, they are unfortunately by monique lhuillier. and cost 450 dollars each. blah!!! My fiance and i decided that obviously was NOT fair to my girls, so we decided to pay 200 dollars towards each of their dresses, so now we are ending up paying 1400 extra just so they can have these dresses. I'm still worried some of the girls will be insulted by the fact that they have to buy 250 dollar dresses. What would you think if you were in a wedding and you were in this same situation where the bride was paying for almost half your dress, but you still have to pay 250 dollar? Is that really THAT much for bridesmaid dresses?
ps. I honestly cant find anything else. Ive been looking forever and these are my ideal bridesmaid dresses.
ps again. i think the girls could wear these again too. seriously they are to die for
I think that's alot of money for both you and your bridesmaids - even if they do get to wear them again!
Perhaps you could take the pictures to an experienced dressmaker? A good seamstress can make a dress from a picture and could do it for possibly half the price.
Check with your bridesmaids first though. You never know, they may be in a financial position where $250 is doable.
@loveyou22: IMO, and its just mine, I would be miffed paying over 200. I felt horrible my BM dresses were 159.00 with tax.
it's all relative...unless all your bridesmaids are in similar financial situations. But having been a MOH and BM, I wouldn't want to pay more than $150-$200 with tax... there's so much more other expense to be in someone's wedding it adds up... there's whatever costs associated with bachelorette party, bridal shower, i still get a wedding gift, nails, hairs, make up....
That's a lot of money for bridesmaid dresses most of my girls are having a hard time coming up with $150 so I am probably going to have to buy their dresses. Just talk to them and see what they think, it is great that your helping them out with the price but do they feel comfortable with paying that much for a dress they may only wear once. If the dress is not quite their style they may not feel comfortable wearing them again.
As a bridesmaid I wouldn't bat an eye lid at $250.00. My girls are paying $415.00 for their dresses and are paying for their alterations as well. However I'm paying for everything for the Bridal Shower, not having them pay to attend the hens night, paying for their hair and makeup and a spa day the day before the wedding, a surprise they dont know about yet. :)
If a bride offered to pay $200.00 towards my BM dress I would be thrilled.
The key here is to communicate, get all your girls together and talk to them, show them the dress and let them know you'll put in $200.00 each. See what they say. If they say no, thats fine, keep looking.
Have you tried these two websites, they are authentic designer dresses
http://www.newyorkdress.com/Bridesmaid_Dresses.html
I'm so annoyed, the BM dresses in store were $415.00 on the newyorkdress they are $208.00. I dont have the heart to tell the girls.
http://www.missesdressy.com/bridesmaids_dresses.html?osCsid=m4dml82o3rmh23o9ab4j226gn1
A few of our wedding guests have ordered dresses off the missesdressy website, including my Mum and they arrived in 7 days and look amazing. The best part many are 50% off what you pay retail.
@CrispyRN: I agree that it is all relative. I can imagine that, for some women, $250 isn't that much for a bridesmaid dress. So I think your first step is to talk to your bridesmaids about the dress and how much you're asking them to pay. But be sure to keep the conversation open - make sure that it's OK for them to tell you that $250 is too much of a financial burden for them.
That said, I personally think $250 is too much to ask a bridesmaid to pay for one dress, not including taxes and alterations. Then when you consider all of the other costs associated with being a bridesmaid, it can quickly add up to be a very expensive obligation. I only looked at dresses that were under $200, and my MOH chose one that was $150. Even that seems like a lot to me, and I allowed my MOH to have final say in the dress because I wanted to ensure that if she had to spend all that money, she got something she liked and would actually wear again. Thankfully, I also loved the dress she chose.
I realize that you're being very generous in your offer to cover almost 50% of each of their dresses and that you really love this particular style. But please just be understanding that even $250 may be too much for your bridesmaids. As I said, I think it's important to have a frank and open conversation with them about the cost before moving forward with anything. At the end of the day, it's about what they're comfortable with, not what any of us say or think. :)
Good luck!
Totally agree with most PP. It might be a lot for some of your bridesmaid. I would suggest emailing or calling your girls and asking them what their budget is for the wedding. (I would do this individually, so you don't make anyone uncomfortable).
You should then try to find something that is in the lowest budget range so that the girls aren't stressed out about the cost.
It might end up that all of them can spend $250...it might end up they can't. All of my bridesmaids had a lower budget than $250, for what its worth.
In this situation I think I would have volunteered to pay the majority whilst the girls pick up the excess (you pay $250, they pay $200). For some people, that's going to be hard money to come by. That said, in the UK, the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses.
In the UK, the bride typically pays for BM dresses; I know that obv in the US it's different, but I would feel seriously uncomfortable asking my BMs to pay $250 towards something they haven't chosen, and won't wear again.
I would definitely ask them what their budget is before making decisions, and go from there. If one of them can only afford $150, then you should only be asking them to put $150 each towards, and you should pay the rest, or else find something closer to their budget.
As everyone said, it is relative and no one knows what's 'normal' or 'acceptable' in your circle except yourself.
I would not pay $250 for a bridesmaid dress though and definitely wouldn't ask my bridesmaid to do so as well. I'm pretty sure it will cause resentment haha
Think that is way too much. If you share a pic, people may find some alternatives. Other than that the best advice was given: ask your BMs about their budget since it hard to advise we don't know their financial situation.
I agree with PP that I would be very annoyed to have to pay $250 for a BM dress - and the fact that you are paying $200 additional for the dress would do nothing to alleviate my annoyance. I would think it was a gross extravagance to spend that much on a BM dress. Spending a lot on a wedding dress is one thing as it's YOUR day, but to ask a BM to spend that is too much IMO. And I really don't think it matters what their current financial position is, asking them to spend so much is just a bit inconsiderate full stop.
There are a lot of costs that come with being a BM and bearing that in mind, I think it's important for a bride to try and keep costs low wherever possible, regardless of what the BM's budgets are like. You have to take into account bachelorette parties, showers, wedding gifts, travel to the wedding, accommodation before/after the wedding, hair/make up appts etc. That all adds up quite quickly so unless you're willing to say "Hey, I'd love for you to wear this dress and whilst I recognise it is quite expensive, I'd like for this to also be in lieu of any gifts" (obviously word it more eloquently), I think it's quite cheeky to ask them to spend so much.
I understand you love this dress, but I'm sure you can find one that will work just as well and fall within a more reasonable budget. What is more important? Having your way and potentially putting a lot of your BM is a rather uncomfortable position, or being considerate of your nearest and dearest and finding a more reasonably priced dress?
I'm taking a bit of a harsh line with this but I just think it's a silly waste of money for you and your FI to spend that much on BM dresses whilst also asking your girls to pay a ludicrous amount on top of all the other costs.
I probably wouldn't be psyched to spend $250 on a BM dress. My dresses cost $100, and I felt sorta bad even then...which is why I made sure to pay for a lot of other stuff for my BMs
I already gave my advice, but...
Could we see the dress too? I'm curious about it now. Maybe we can offer suggestions that are similar.
250 is quite reasonable for a bridesmaid dress. As a bridesmaid I would expect to pay that amount for something nice. I have been in 3 weddings. One wedding my dress was 400, another 200 ish and the most recent was 50.00. Personally, the 50 dress was so outdated and I would of rathered have paid more for a dress I felt good in. Not to mention I spent more on alterations to have that dress somewhat fit me properly than the actual price of the dress. I'm not sure what the bride was thinking maybe she didnt want the bm to outshine her but anyways I wore with a smile on my face as that is what she wanted me in. I think 450 is a little pricey but if you're willing to pay 200.00 of that amount I think that is very generous of you and is fair to all of you. Since it is a fairly expensive bridesmaid dress I am assuming the dress is of excellent quality and probably will be the most flattering. Follow your gut feeling and talk to the girls if they are okay to spend 250.00 on a dress. I personally would be okay with that. Please post the pic of the dress! I'm dying to see it!!
I seriously could never pick out something that was $400.00 for someone else to wear. My wedding dress didn't cost that much... That being said, the idea of your FI and yourself paying $200 toward each dress is really kind of you. I agree with one of the PP's that it might be worth taking a picture to an experienced seamstress and have the dresses custom made. My seamstress is going to be able to make my girls' dresses for ~150.00 a piece. That way, each of your girls are able to have a dress made just for them, may not have to worry about alterations, and that way you can change anything you like. Best of luck!
I think it depends on what your BMs financial situations are. For me, that's not a huge amount of money to spend on a dress, especially one I'd be able to wear again. But for other people, that's a ton of money to spend. Plus having to buy jewelry, shoes, gift, sponsoring the shower, and bachelorette party, it's a lot of expense.
I'm a third year university student so $250 would definitely be too much. I would have a really hard time parting with the money, even if the bride was my best friend in the whole world.
I think you should definitely ask them about their budget, some of them may find it hard to justify (like I would), but it could be totally reasonable to them! You won't know until you ask them.
If I were in this situation, I would definitely not be able to afford it. I am in another wedding for a friend right after my wedding and honestly, if she told me I had to fork over $250 for a dress I would bow out. Have you even asked your BM's what their budget is? Keep in mind that they also have to pay for alterations, their shoes, their hair, their makeup, your shower, a shower gift, your bachelorette party, and a wedding gift. $250 may seem small to you, but in the grand scheme of things it all adds up. Just for reference, I am going to be a BM in my friends wedding and this is my breakdown:
Dress: $160
Alterations: $50
Shoes: $50
Hair: $75
Makeup: $65
Shower: $100
Bach Party: $350
Shower gift: $100
Wedding gift: $100
That's a total of $1,050. So yeah, it all adds up :(
I would not pay that much for a BM dress.
Can you show us the dress and perhaps we can suggest cheaper alternatives?
I wouldn't have a problem paying $250 for a bridesmaid dress but I think you should poll your girls to see what they are comfortable with. I'm curious about what this dress looks like. I've never seen a monique lhuillier and thought "OMG I could never find this anywhere else!" they just aren't that unique
There are many lovely BM dresses for under $200. My BMs had to pay $135 for their dress and thats about the max I would want to pay. If you post a picture of your dress I'm sure we can help you find something much cheaper
Before I started looking for BM dresses, I asked each girl individually what their budget was. I was very mindful that these girls are all in different situations (some are flying from across the country and therefore have added expenses) and I didn't want to put anyone in a financial burden to wear a specific dress for MY day. All of my girls (with one exception) said $200 was their max number and the other girl said she could only afford $150. The dresses I found were $192, so I offered to pay the $42 for that one girl. I still feel guilty that the dresses came in SO close to their max budget, but they all told me they were fine with it, so I'm learning to let it go. :)
I would suggest speaking with your girls and asking them what they can afford. I don't think that we can answer yoru question as we are not your BM. If I was however, I would be really annoyed at spending even $250 on something I would never wear again.
I would be upset at having to pay that much for a dress I didn't pick and may never wear again. I can't fathom paying that much for clothing, usually.
250 is still a lot. I think around 150-200 is what people expect to pay for BM dresses.
Just curious of your BM financially situation? Are your bm in school still or working full time with a decent job? If yoir bm have a decent job i dont think 250 is a big deal for a bm dress. A regular guest would easily spend that on a nice dress. Just ask them and youll know right away if they are okay or not with it.
$250 is too much to ask your bridesmaids to pay, unless you know for sure that they can call comfortably afford it - and even then it's a little much
My girls' dresses cost $180 put we found a discount site to order them through and they ended up being only $130 - even that was a lot to me!
I'm sure you can find another dress that is more affordable. What is so special about this dress anyway? Could we see a picture of it?
I paid 250 for a dress I wore for the last wedding I was in, but that included tax. Not including alterations though, so after that it was more like $285-$290.
I wasn't happy about it, but I did it.
@bridetobe7844: thanks for these sites, still looking for a BM dress.
@loveyou22: i personally wouldn't want to spend over $200 for a dress. i am trying to keep my BM dress closer to the $100$125 mark (if not cheaper)
I don't think I would ever be okay spending $250 on a BM dress, not even for my own family. My max would probably be $150, $200 is stretching it a lot.
I kind of think it's unreasonable to expect them to pay $250 and then still have to buy shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup, wedding gifts and also throw a bridal shower and bachelorette.
BUT, only you know their financial situation. Why not ask them what they are comfortable spending?
Also, why not post a picture of these dresses and see if one of the bees can find a cheaper alternative? Or, try taking the pictures to a seamstress and see if they can replicate the dress cheaper? My mother and I made my BM dresses and they cost my girls $50 for materials.
I would be LIVID. Just being honest, but for every wedding I've been in, I've been straight up honest on what I could and couldn't afford. $250 is a huge chunk of my paycheck. For those with children, you're talking a week or two of groceries for their family.
But then again, that's me. Your girls may be able to afford it. Before you tell them how much you want them to spend, ask them what they can afford.
@ohmybears48: I didn't think about percentages... $250 is literally half of what I make in a MONTH. I'm a graduate student who can only work part-time.
Yeah, I could never do $250.
In general, I think it’s too much but it depends on what your bridesmaids are comfortable with. I wouldn’t be thrilled having to spend $250 on a dress that I’m going to wear once but I’ve spent much MUCH more than that to be in the weddings that I’ve been a part of (though that includes everything that I’ve forked over from shoes to the bridal shower to their wedding gift). I agree with the PP who suggested that you cover the $250 and ask them to pay $200. Even at $200 it’s on the higher side of what I think bridesmaids should spend on their dresses but it’s not totally unreasonable. Are you planning on having them purchase specific shoes and accessories? The only way that I would be tolerant of a BM dress that cost $200-$250 would be if I was able to wear whatever shoes I want (obviously in whatever color the bride chose) and the accessories were either provided to me or I was able to wear something that I already owned or could buy for cheap.
Personally, I would have never asked my girls to spend $250 on their dresses because I know they wouldn’t have been able to. I felt bad enough that some of their dresses were close to $180 and they were able to select their own from the whole Alfred Angelo line (so, lots of options).
To be completely honest, a $450 bridesmaid dress seems like a gigantic waste of money considering some brides wedding gowns cost that much. If I were you, I would think about all of the things that you could do with the money that you’ll be shelling out to cover your portion of the dress and decide if it’s really worth it. If I had to choose between covering half of my bridesmaids dresses because I selected something much too expensive or upgrading my HM or something, I think the decision is obvious.
I think it's too much. I am sure that there is a dress out there that compares at a lower price point. The only way I could see this being ok is if you know you friends usually don't have a problem spending $450 on a dress. I have a friend who wouldn't even think about it, it's what she would spend on a dress on herself to attend. I even think the $150+$50 in alterations that I'm paying for my dress is way too much, I don't have a dress in my closet that cost more than $100!
@Legallyblondiebride: Are we in the same wedding?!?! Haha
Sometimes having dresses custom made is cheaper than buying designer dresses. I knew I was going to pay for my bridesmaids dresses and I knew what I can afford to spend on them. The dress my bridesmaids and I picked was about $50 over my budget per dress. So I found a shop in NYC's fashion district that custom makes dresses, and they quoted a price per dress $50 below their retail cost and they are custom, so no alterations will be needed! You should definitely at least look into the custom route.
I just picked up my dresses and I love them, and they fit each girl like a glove!
I think it might be alot to ask of them - it does depend on what your girls financial situation is, however these days it's hard to know how well anyone is doing so one of your girls may agree to it for you but end up eating beans on toast for two weeks to cover the cost of your bm dress, which of course you don't want. It is super generous of you to pay for half the dresses but it is still likely an imposition for them - plus, I am sure that the dresses are gorgeous but the old chestnut of"they'll wear them again' never works - bridesmaid dress no matter how lovely are rarely worn again if for no other reason than it was a dress chosen by someone else and 3 of your other friends have the exact same dress!
I think it might be alot to ask of them - it does depend on what your girls financial situation is, however these days it's hard to know how well anyone is doing so one of your girls may agree to it for you but end up eating beans on toast for two weeks to cover the cost of your bm dress, which of course you don't want. It is super generous of you to pay for half the dresses but it is still likely an imposition for them - plus, I am sure that the dresses are gorgeous but the old chestnut of"they'll wear them again' never works - bridesmaid dress no matter how lovely are rarely worn again if for no other reason than it was a dress chosen by someone else and 3 of your other friends have the exact same dress!
I wouldnt have a problem, but here Alfred Angelo dresses are $200-250 (which is crazy!) so Im used to paying that much for a dress
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