Post # 1
Our wedding is a special situation and much etiquette has been thrown out the window due to this. It is going to be a very family affair, with my parents and family friends providing/making the food and my uncle’s band providing music. Also, a family friend is doing the flowers for us, but she is not available the day off, so will be dropping everything off at my house the day before. I am not hiring a DOC but have hired professional photographers. Our reception location is run by the owner (it is a historic barn) so I know she will be helping a great deal with the day off set up.
We already know we need to give our priest a monetary "gift", but who else should we tip? Do we tip the photograhers? The lady who runs the reception location? My florist the day before? Personally, I feel uncomfortable giving monetary "thank yous" to the family and friends who are helping us, but is it appropriate/expected? Thanks!
Post # 3
I’m three weeks away from my wedding and trying to figure this out as well, here are some tips from http://www.frugalbride.com/tipping.html
Post # 4
This has been discussed several times. Here are some links to help you out.
I too am having a lot of family members help out, and while I don’t plan to give them $$ I do plan on getting them each a small gift to show my appreciation even a written thank you note will be extremely appreciated.
Photographers, you generally dont tip them if its their own business, but you could always tip the assistants.
The owner I would probably only tip if you feel she goes above and beyond.
Hope that helps!
Post # 5
Thanks so far. What about the band members? My uncle offered their services, and while I feel strange giving him money, should I tip the other 2 members who I don’t know? Also, just remembered these guys: what about the 2 bartenders that I have to pay my reception site for? Should I personally tip them, or just leave that to the guests who may tip them (its an open bar)?
And I thought I was going to get off the hook with tipping…
Post # 6
I’d chat with your uncle about the band, and what might be some nice gesture for them. For our band (family friend) we paid a reduced fee, but also made sure they had plenty of food, a quiet break table, and a few extra bottles of alcohol, which made them very happy. Your uncle probably knows them pretty well and could suggest a restaurant or music store or some other place they frequent where you could get a little gift card, or maybe some physical item they might like. Even just a nice thank you to send to each of them afterward would suffice…in my opinion it’s more about the acknowledgement and thanks than the money spent.
Post # 7
I’m guessing that since yours is a special situation, and you are using family for much of the preparations, money is an issue. I personally wouldn’t tip any family members.. I would assume they are helping out of love.. a nice thank-you gift would probably be a good gesture.. on maybe a thank you brunch after the wedding.
I would definitely tip the photogs and the lady who owns the reception site, if she will be helping a great deal, if your florist is a friend.. I would just invite her to the thank you brunch or give her a thank you gift.. if you don’t know her that well I would tip her.
I definitely dont think any of your friends/family will expect anything from you in return since they will already know your special situations regarding the wedding… but like I said above, showing your thanks would be appreciated by them!!
These are just my opinions. hope they help! Good luck!