Post # 1
My best friend and I have been talking about my wedding for almost 2 years now, and its finally here! I’ve known that she’s going to be an excellent resource for me… she’s type A and super organized. However, I’m having one problem that I never anticipated… she’s opinionated, and she seems to be forgetting this is my day.
I’ve already had to reschedule my wedding because she wanted to go on vacation on my original date. Since my girls are scattered all across the west coast, I’m going with an online store for my BM dresses. All my girls love the site, love the dresses… except her. She wants to try on a dress, and she asks me about the BM dress weekly. I tell her I’ve looked at all the major chains and I have found nothing I like, yet she keeps sending me the same links and keeps trying to push a certain style on me. I showed her a couple dresses I like for me, and she starts tearing them apart, not to mention she brings up that they are expensive. She asks me what my wedding colors are EVERY TIME she sees me. I have told her time and time again that its black and white so I can have colorful flowers. I don’t really care all that much about coordinating my invitations with my wedding colors, but she does. Its gotten to the point where I avoid talking about the wedding with her because she nit-picks every little thing. I love her, and I want her to be involved and I want her help. But, I want to be able to make my own decisions. So far, wedding planning hasn’t been enjoyable for me and its mainly because of things like this.
What do I do? 🙁
Post # 3
I am sorry you are having troubles with her. I think you just need to put your foot down and be straight with her. Tell her that although you appreciate her input, this is your wedding and you have a vision that you are going for. Let her know that if she doesn’t like it, you would prefer that she keep her opinions to herself.
Post # 4
ya, i think just avoiding talking about the wedding is your best bet. i had to do that do because i just didnt like it when other people didn’t like my ideas. everyone has different opinions, but this is your wedding, so your ideas get the most weight and you get the final say!
if she start pressuring you for details, you have the phrase “oh, i haven’t made a decision about that yet” to fall back on.
Post # 5
Yowza. This is why I vow to be the most complacent, obedient, unopinionated bridesmaid in the world! I agree about telling her firmly that she is doesn’t have decision-making power at your wedding, I also agree you should try to avoid talking to her about the wedding. Do you have a mutual friend or someone who can lovingly be like, “hey, come on now, it’s ultimately up to raekae”?
Post # 6
definitely talk to her and explain what is important to you for your day. tell her you appreciate her ideas and you’ll consider them, but in the end it’s your decision and you’ll decide on what you and your fiance like best. Some things that she may not be happy about she’s going to have to suck it up and support your decision.
Post # 7
Thanks girls… I know I should talk to her. I just hate confrontation. I’m trying on dresses tomorrow (!!!!!!) and she’s coming, so maybe I’ll talk to her then. Another BM is coming, maybe I’ll give her the heads up as to what is going on and see if she can coax the other BM to let me be the ultimate decider.
What gets me most is I’ve sent out emails to all my girls (mass email) and I’ve stated that I need to be the ultimate decider and how I hadn’t been too thrilled with the wedding planning. Every one of my girls talked with me and made sure I was ok (it was kinda an emotional email) except for her.
Now I have a headache lol… so much stress!
Post # 8
@raekae: Relax, take a deep breath. Confrontation is never fun, but she really needs to understand how you feel. In the end your wedding will be wonderful. i hope shopping went well.