- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
Im really hoping for some words of wisdom from you all. I dont post on here often but im hoping you will be able to help.
I have 4 bridesmaid. 3 of them have been fantastic in every way possible but the 4th i’ve had problems with from day 1.
Ever since i got engaged its just been an uphill struggle and im now coming to the end of my patience and just feel really upset with how things are turning.
Just a bit of back ground. We’ve been friends for nearly 20 years from when we were little girls. we lived next door to each other until we were in our late teens,both went to the same high school and 6th form. we’ve both been there for each other through hard times and the good times. but i just dont know how to handle her any more. and im seriously coming round to the idea that i no longer want her as my bm. we’ve been friends for so long which is why i asked her, but i suppose if im honest we dont have anything in common any more. and if im 100% honest. if i could have my time again i dont think i would have asked her.
its been a lot of little things over a period of time. they weren’t seriously bad things but now its built up to such a head (not only with myself but my FI and other bridesmaids) that i just dont know what to do. just a few examples. my bm’s are throwing me a surpise hen (which i know nothing about, not even the location) and she keeps moaning about it to me trying to drop information out , which the other bm’s have gone bonkers about. “i dont see why you need a whole weekend for your hen” “i dont see why i should buy an outfit for it” “i dont see why we should all match on the wedding day” “i dont see why you need to spend so much money on one day” “dont you think thats a bit much?” “i know im not going to fit into my bm dress”
ive paid for all my bm dresses, shoes, jewellery, accsesorys and all the alterations to their dresses but when i said i wasn’t paying for hair and mua (as in my honest opinion the girls always look amazing when we go out so i didnt see the need) she moaned that she’d have to do it herself.
she has told me she’s smuggling food into my wedding venue for herself and her dh because they dont like my menu choices (its £100 per head that i might as well flush down the loo).
i know these seem like small silly things but i just dont know where this is all coming from. we’ve been friends for so long and shes always been a bit . . odd at times, but recently its every time i speak to her she says something else. my other bm’s have lost all patience now and im stuck on how to handle it all 🙁
how best do i handle this. my fi has said it my choice as to whether she is a bm or not. my other bm’s have said that if i ask her to step down she’ll more than likely never speak to me again 🙁 im just lost.
sorry this is such an essay