Post # 1
I am having problems deciding who to be in my small wedding party. I have 1 sister, who is going to be a bridesmaid. and I want to have 1 maid of honor and 2 bridesmaids to keep things symmetrical and small. I do NOT want to just expand the bridal party to include certain people.
I have a good friend from highschool, whom I am considering to be my maid of honor. However this friend is always complaining about finances and I’m worried might not be up for planning things, or even spending money on my wedding. I have another friend from highschool who I have been close with, who shares my financial opinions, we have similar tastes and who I think would plan better… but I’m not entirely certain she should be the MOH either. both these friends would be extremely upset if they are not in my wedding.
I also have 2 friends from college, 1 I consider a better friend, she was my roommate, and even though I didn’t hang out with her more quantity wise, the quality of our friendship I consider to be stronger.
The other friend from college, well we were basically inseparable for several years, however mostly partying and drinking together. Since college, we have grown apart and kept in touch mainly by email. An incident happened with this friend about 9 months ago regarding my health, and I realized that she really does not care about my health/general well being, and we are definitely not as close anymore. I think this friend will be very upset/angry if I wouldn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid.
so basically I have 4 friends, and only want 2 of them in my wedding and don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, or cause drama.
any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated!!!
Post # 3
You need to only have the people that won’t cause drama and are closest to you. Go onto the boards and read about how many gals picked girls just because they didn’t want to hurt feelings. They are all complaining about trying to “fire” their bridesmaid’s now. I think that would create worst feelings that just not having a few girls and telling them you are keeping it small and intimate. Maybe you can have them do something else?
Post # 4
@tinkstar: It sounds like you’re thinking carefully about the pros and cons of asking each friend to be your bridesmaid. That’s great. Out of all the girls you’ve described, it seems to me that you do not want your drinking buddy from college to be in the wedding party. Remember, being a bridesmaid is superfun, but also is a giant commitment of time, money, and initiative.
If you really think that your party friend will be offended if she isn’t included, you could ask her to act as an usher, or do a reading at your ceremony. Ultimately, it’s your wedding, so if she’s gonna flake and you can’t rely on her, why have that wild card to deal with on your wedding day?
You might have a conversation with each of the people you’re considering for your bridal party. You might be surprised. Your friend who is watching her pennies might be relieved not to be a bridesmaid, even though she loves you, or she might be itching to be in your bridal party. You have no idea, unless you talk to her. Communicate with your girls and ask them if they would be able to make room in their schedules and checkbook to be included in your wedding.
Post # 5
@tinkstar: PS. Ain’t nothing wrong with only having two bridesmaids!!!