Post # 1
i’m just looking for some advice on how to deal with a jealous "friend". i just recently got engaged, about a week a go, and we’re still working on spreading the news to all our loved ones 🙂 it’s been fun for the most part but now we’re about to tell his group of friends and i am a little concerned.
Some background, when he moved out of his parents house he moved in with his high school friend, and this friend’s girlfriend. he lived with them for 3 years+ before moving in with me in april. they aren’t too fond of me because in their eyes i have "changed" him. ie he no longer drinks and parties with them on a regular basis…
anyways, the girlfriend is a particularly hurtful person, and makes it pretty clear she doesn’t like me. at one point we were friendly and she told me how she hates when girls who haven’t been together as long as her and her boyfriend get engaged. she thinks it’s rude and unfair (hello immaturity?).
for this reason i am super nervous about breaking the news tomorrow! any tips on dealing with someone who’s not happy about your happy news?
Post # 3
Just try not to let them rain on your parade. There are always people that aren’t going to react how we would like them to, or who aren’t going to be happy for us because of their own issues, but you just have to let it go. You and your FI are in love and happy together and getting married and that is SO exciting, so yeah – they probably won’t be happy for you (at least it sounds like she won’t), but ultimately who cares? You’re happy and your FI is happy and that’s what really matters. If they can’t be happy for you guys then screw ’em. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other people who are actually GOOD friends who are happy and excited for you. Focus on the good, supportive people in your life, not the stupid jealous bitter girl whose boyfriend won’t propose to her…
Post # 4
Just be prepared for the negativity when you tell them. If she’s nasty, then say "Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, but we’re very happy so we’d appreciate it if you could be happy for us. If you can’t be, then I think we’ll be on our way!" There’s no way I’d sit there and let someone poop all over my happiness.
Post # 5
Given the way she already feels, I would not even worry about breaking the news in a way that will appease her! Will you and your fiancee be telling this group of friends together, or is it just you? I would just mention it in a casual way and let them react however they choose. Just don’t let them ruin the fact that you have such wonderful news to share with everyone else 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 6
Be prepared for her to be less-than-thrilled. And just keep in mind that everyone works on their own timeline. When they mature enough to WANT to get married, and WANT to settle down and WANT to stop bar-hopping…then they can do it. In the meantime, too bad for them.
It sounds to me like she’s bitter. She wants him to propose but he doesn’t (because he’s in love with the "single lifestyle", duh!) and so it’s an endless cycle of no fun for either party.
Her loss. Oh well.
Post # 7
Yeah, I definitely love what budgetbeautiful said, I would probably say the same thing–because you already know how she feels, why worry about what she thinks? She’s the one that’s not getting married and is being overall an ugly person, while you’ll be the beautiful bride and you shouldn’t worry about what a person like that thinks!
Post # 8
thanks for the support guys!
@tippy – we’re going to visit a couple of his friends who live 2 hours away and just moved into a new house, these ex-roomies will be there. we figured it would be a good time because the couple with the new house should be really excited 🙂
i think i just have that common woman problem of trying to please everyone. even if they are huge jerks… lol.
Post # 9
1st off…. Congrats on your engagement!
2nd… Don’t let her ruin your great news! She maybe have a stick up her bum b/c she’s getting tried of her man not stepping up and proposing. People grow up over time so of course we stop going out to drink on a regular basis… maybe she is at the point to in her life, but her partner is not ready to grow up and she misplacing that frustration.
We announced our engagement at the same time to everyone! We took a ring shot picture and texted that photo to everyone in our phonebook, no words just a picture… phone calls started to pour in. It was odd b/c FI’s old best friend received the picture and called two days later (mind you FI hasn’t talked to him in 6 months… we where all really close as one point). The conversation was… “omg, your engaged.. I don’t know what to say.. well how’s going?” WTF, you say congrats and move on… Well like I said, we where all really close and his girlfriend found out we where engaged, they had been going out as long as us, and she eventually broke up him. I ran in to her and she said it was our engagement that was the catalyst to her kicking out. She said that she relized that he was never going to change, and she was ready to be with someone who wanted what she wanted and not waiting for him to get to that point.
You could test the waters and send a text, similar to us. If they are happy for you and your FI… they will call right away and want to know all the details.
Post # 10
Poopy on them! What a bia.
Tell them anyways with a big ole grin on your face, flash your ring, and if she says anything snarky, just say, "aww, somebody’s jealous" in a half-jokingly-yet-OH-SO-TRUE manner.
Hey, throw it back in her face.