Help with ideas for something other than the typical head/sweetheart table!

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Pinkmoon:  We had a round family table at the front of the room, on the way to the bar. I don’t see what the problem is with having some of the family table people with their backs to the guests, since some of the guests will have THEIR backs to the bride and groom. People are EATING! It’s not a big deal – it’s only a few hours and everyone will have plenty of time to socialize. I think your mom is wrong on this one.

Post # 5
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We are doing the King table idea (huge table in the center of the room).  I’m sorry your mom is not on board. Is she paying for the wedding?

Could you rotate the king table that you have planned and turn it so that it is facing out at the opening? I would place it in the blank space at the opposite end of the dance floor. That way, no one’s back is to anyone and you are facing out towards people, but you are not the center of attention. 

Post # 6
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

We just sat at a round table like all the others. Ours was in the middle though. Why does your mom care so much? I just wouldn’t talk to her about it anymore. 

Post # 7
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Pinkmoon:  I think it’s time to pull out my best wedding planning mom-management strategy. Stop talking about the room layout with her for now. You have TONS of time to figure this out – our layout wasn’t finalized until a few weeks before. As the date gets closer, she might forget about how much she cares about something so trivial. When it comes time to inform her about the room layout, say, “Oh I decided on this months ago!” and be sure to have a bunch of people to back you up and say you are right! Move on! Dine at your wedding without feeling like you are on display. 

Post # 9
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Pinkmoon:  Yep. The second one is exactly what I was thinking. If you do it that way, then your mom can still have her backdrop. And when you do speeches, you would just need to move to the front of the table opening. 

I agree that having it in the middle is the best. Could a good compromise be to have a small stage built in that corner with your mom’s backdrop. Put your cake and some chairs or lounge seating up there for your cake cutting and speeches. That way, you can eat in peace without all eyes on you, but everyone can still see you during the important parts. 

Post # 11
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree that mom is wrong on this one.  We too did a king’s table (though it wasn’t much bigger than the regular tables).  My and DH’s backs were to the wall so we could see out at everyone, but with round tables, of course some guests still had their backs to us (which would have happened even with a head table).  I don’t think anyone was offended at having our bridal party’s backs to them.  For the toasts, etc., we stood up, and some guests shifted in their chairs to face us.  Easy peasy.  Maybe plan your table so its just you two, your bridal party, and their SOs, leaving the parents to sit at family tables?  That’s how I’ve seen it and what we did.  Then mom can’t get so upset about a table she won’t be sitting at.  I’ve never (that I can recall, at least) seen parents at the bride and groom’s table.

ETA: I decided against doing a head table when I was the best man’s date at a wedding that did the king’s table, thereby putting me at the bride and groom’s table.  It was the first wedding I’d been to where the bride was 1) eating and 2) looking like she was seriously enjoying herself over dinner.  I’m guessing it was because she wasn’t on display like she’d be at a head table, and the round table let her talk to people beyond those right next to her and encouraged tablewide conversation.  Maybe telling mom about how you don’t want to be on display and want to be able to eat and enjoy yourself will make her relax about it?

Post # 12
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Pinkmoon:  Yes and me too! I’m watching the first episode of the 9th season on demand right now! 

Post # 13
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My daughter had a round table for their “head table”, in the center of all the tables.  And the parents/family tables on each side (so we were close to her table, his mom/family table was close to his table, then past his family table was either more of his extended family, or his friends table.  Past us, was more of our family tables, and then our daughter’s friends table.  Maybe that will work for you?

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