Post # 1
Okay, I am in a bit of a pickle here. I am having an enormous challenge in wording our wedding invitation (and the proofs were supposed to be ordered weeks ago so the overdue deadline doesn’t help). We are planning to include both sets of parents on the invite, and here is what I have so far (names are changed lol):
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Request the honor of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter
(My first and middle name)
(FI’s full name)
son of Mr. and Mrs. George Washington
On the eighteenth of April
two thousand and fifteen
at five thirty in the evening
Reception to follow
Sounds great…unfortunately, I am having an issue because I just sent the draft wording to my FMIL today and she commented that this would be the only time that she would be addressed as “Mrs. George Washington”. She has a hyphenated name, and has never liked being called Mrs. Husband’s Name. She agrees that this is the traditional way to do it and has said that she does not care, and it is a very traditional wedding, but it still makes me feel bad. Why would she bring it up if it didn’t bother her, you know? My mom has no preference regarding what she is called on the invite.
If I spell out everyone’s full names, it will be WAY too wordy. And my parents are paying for practically the whole shindig, so they want to be listed at the very top as the hosts. Any advice? How did you word your invites? Does the wording really matter that much? I know that they will be looking at these things in their scrapbooks or whatever for the rest of their lives, so I am a little stressed and freaked out because I don’t want to word it in a way that I am going to regret later, or that will make someone feel uncomfortable. I know that sounds silly, but AAAH! I am really torn up about this for some reason! Help!
Post # 2
Wow, that copied and pasted really weirdly. Anyway, please disregard my tech skills which are clearly lacking!!
Post # 3
blushblossom91: if this is the only time you will be writing her as mrs. husbands name, then she will get over it!
It’s your invitation after all 🙂
and why would she be so against it/bother her if she is indeed still has her husbands surname? WHOOPS WELL cock i missed that bit!
I agree with the post under me, mrs. washington-[ ]
Post # 4
blushblossom91: ps for some reason it does that to me as well.. computer illerates hahahah!!!!!! 😛
Post # 5
blushblossom91: could you just have exactly what you have there but replace ‘Mr and Mrs George Washington’ for ‘Mr George Washington and Mrs Washington-MaidenName’?
I’m no etiquette expert but that’s the way I would do it. Leave your parents as is because your mum has fully taken your father’s name and is fine with being addressed like that.
Post # 6
OneDayMrsL: I was considering that, but that would make that line SUPER long and it would definitely stick out like a sore thumb. I could break it up into two lines but we already have SO many lines on the invite!
No joke these darn invitations have been my biggest challenge of wedding planning so far. And I haven’t even ordered them yet!! I might just keep it how it is, I just don’t want her to feel like I am going against her preference just to be snotty.
Post # 7
Because you said that you are having a traditional wedding and that you want a traditional invitation, I would make the following changes:
lowercase “r” in “request” <br />lowercase the “a” in “at” <br />make sure that before FI’s full name, you add his title, “Mr.”<br />instead of “On the eighteenth of April” it should read “Saturday, the eighteenth of April”<br />omit “and” from the date — “two thousand fifteen”<br />the time should read “at half after five o’clock”
If your venue is not a house of worship, “honor of your presence” is not acceptable. It should read “request the pleasure of your company”
“Reception to follow” is only included if the reception is at the same location as the ceremony, immediately following.
You do not include the venue’s entire address. Only the city/state.
So with these corrections it should read like so:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
request the pleasure of your company (unless in a house of worship)
at the marriage of their daughter
Mr. Holden Caulfield
son of Mr. and Mrs. Johnathan Caulfield
Saturday, the eighteenth of April
at half after five o’clock in the evening
Reception to follow (only if the reception is taking place at the same place as the ceremony)
Post # 9
blushblossom91: Sorry, weddingbee messed up my spacing, too! Hopefully those reviions are clear.
Also, if your FI has a title other than “Mr.” include that before his name (like “Doctor”)
Post # 10
blushblossom91: “… I just sent the draft wording to my FMIL today and she commented that this would be the only time that she would be addressed as “Mrs. George Washington”. She has a hyphenated name, and has never liked being called Mrs. Husband’s Name.”
This is probably one of the reasons why so many invitations these days are issued with the phrase “together with their parents.”
I was married 37 years ago and never changed my name. Both our daughter’s wedding invitations (formal/black-tie) were issued with my husband’s full name first and my full name second. (Our daughter’s have hyphenated last names, Father-Mother). If your FMIL has only ever used a hyphenated name, which I’m assuming IS her legal name, and doesn’t like being referred to as Mrs. Husband, I think you should honor her choice, not challenge it.
Traditionally, invitations were only issued with the bride’s parents names, anyway, because they were usually the hosts.
Post # 11
PABride: Thanks for your insight. I certainly don’t want to challenge ANYONE, I just want to find a way to appeal to both sets of parents without being too wordy.
Could I address my parents as Mr. and Mrs. “John Smith” still, and refer to his parents as Mr. George Washington and Mrs. Martha Name-Washington? Or just their first and last names?
Post # 12
Update: I send the revised draft to FMIL with her name separate from her husband’s, and she decided that she didn’t like it because it seemed that she could be divorced that way. SO GLAD we have finally reached a resolution here without hurting any feelings! Now I just have to make sure that everything is PERFECT before sending to print the proofs!