(Closed) Help with invitation wording!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

no need to worry! this is pretty straight forward and detailed. i like it!

Post # 4
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Looks great to me! Your wedding sounds so interesting and awesome! Be sure to post pictures after!

Post # 5
Member
46129 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@eocenia:  I love it!

Post # 7
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

@eocenia:  I think it looks great! The only thing that stood out to me is that if you are using “two o’clock in the afternoon” than you should also write out the date completely: “Saturday, the 3rd of August, twenty thirteen” 

But since you say in the insert that it’s a casual affair, you can go with

Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

2:00 PM

Post # 8
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

You invitations look beautiful!

Here are some comments from someone who has edited documents for more than 20 years.

Under “Ceremony,” I would change the words “please feel free” to “you may wish to.”
Also, you need a comma between “and,” and “we” in the last line of that section, because you have two, independent clauses, joined by a conjunction.

Under “Lodging,” I would change “up to” to “prior to.” You also have a subject/verb agreement problem in this section.  “Are” is a plural verb, but “a number” is singular.  The best way to fix this is to change “a number of” to “many.”

Post # 9
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @eocenia:  have to agree 100% with julies1949: … I LOVE IT !!

Think it is so pretty.  You did an excellent job (still blown away by the artwork you created)

Reeniero:  is correct that as far as the Rules of Etiquette go, the formality of the wording could have the Date / Year spelled out in full… but to be honest I wouldn’t change it.  I like it exactly as it is.

(The trick to Etiquette sometimes is knowing what fits where based on the circumstance)

First and foremost, the way you have it now… fits… not only across the page as is so beautifully… but it also fits your theme of being somewhere in the middle between Formal and Casual… infact I think you summed up your whole Wedding quite well, not only for the clothing options… but for the whole feel of the event as “Smart Casual”.

Brielle: covered the grammar issues well.  I will agree that the two that stood out for me were “please feel free to”… which does read better as “you may wish to”

And also changing “the week up to the wedding” to “the week prior to the wedding”

The only way “up to” works is when it is stated as “the week leading up to the wedding”… and that is too cumbersome and long.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 11
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@This Time Round:  

and

@eocenia:  

I am very glad to have been able to help! Unfortunately, after taking time to edit Eocenia’s wording, I failed miserably at editing my OWN. I have no idea how I ended up with not just one but TWO extraneous commas in my own comment from last night. Clearly, I should refrain from commenting on these types of posts when the hour is late, and I am tired, lol!

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