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Personally, I don't think it's ever appropriate to invite someone who is not invited to the wedding to the shower. If you think these people will definitely say no to the weddnig invite because of the distance, than go ahead and invite them to the shower and the wedding. Maybe they'll be able to come to the shower and still be able to celebrate with you without going the distance to the wedding.
I had this same problem. What I actually ended up doing was making my reception a no kids reception so I could include all of my friends and keep myself with in budget. Honestly though if they all know the situation in my "modern" oppinoin I think it's fine.
I am going to say it is tacky to invite them to a shower but not the wedding. Its looks like your asking for gifts... its differnt if the ladies at work thow you a small shower at work... But like the other poster if you want them at your shower you need to incluede them and invite them to the wedding even if you know they wont come... its a tricky one... I am traditional and I would be offended if I was invited to a shower but not the wedding its like you want a gift from me but I am not good enought ot be there on your day... I digress... just my opinion...
Who is hosting your bridal shower?
This would be a good person to ask, since they have volunteered to throw you a shower, and obviously understand the circumstances.
If your circle of friends want to throw you a shower and realize your wedding is not local, then invite them.
Normally I would say never do that, especially if the wedding were local, but since distance is an issue...that is your hostess's call.
People that love you will understand and may very well want to give you a gift anyway. Just be sure to write a really really nice thank you note. :-)
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Hello! So I am currently living in Maryland, but having my wedding in Denver, CO. My question is about the bridal shower and who to invite. There are many people (friends and co-workers) who are not invited to the wedding because of the distance (and budget), but I am wondering if I should still include them in the bridal shower because they know so much about the wedding already. I know you are not supposed to invite people unless they are invited to the wedding, but I just don't know what to do.