Post # 1
Hey, delicate situation here:
When I booked my venue a year ago, I invited the whole wedding party to sleep there as it’s like a cabin with several bedrooms. However, at the time, my MOH wasn’t pregnant, but now she’ll have a breastfeeding newborn (literally, DAYS old) at wedding time.
I have already told our families that no kids can stay the night at the venue.
I didn’t think about the logistics until we were assigning rooms. The room we’d have to give to MOH and husband would be right next to the bridal suite. I really don’t want to hear a baby in the middle of my wedding night, and I don’t think anyone else will want to either. I don’t want my MOH and her husband to be miserable due to the baby to be woken up all night long because of loud drunk people.
MOH and her husband only live 15-20 minutes from the venue. I don’t want them to feel excluded, but I think logistically, it would be best if they go home with baby. How do I phrase this delicately?
If she gets upset and doesn’t want to do this, I could offer to rent her a hotel room a mile away from the venue so that she and husband could take turns or hire a babysitter (or have her mom who she lives with come out) so they can stay at the reception longer, just popping in to check on and feed the baby. Any other suggestions? =/
This topic was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by 208bride.
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’m pretty sure they’ll come to the same conclusion (ie going home) on their own, so I wouldn’t even bring it up.
Post # 3
208bride: Have you asked her? Like “hey MoH, I realize you will have a new baby at the wedding. Have you thought about logistics? Would you want to stay at the cabin or head home? I know it’ll be loud here and you’ll be feeding every few hours, so if you don’t want to stay with us that is fine.” She may be very happy for the freedom not to stay with you.
Post # 4
it makes sense for them too- they’re going to need the comforts of home and itll be a feat for them to even make it through the wedding. Don’t stress.
Id just say what pollywog suggested.
Post # 5
I’m a relatively new mom (9 months) and I absolutely would want to be staying home since it’s so close to your venue anyway and I wouldn’t feel like I was missing out on some romantic/fun getaway. I’d want the comforts of home. If she’s breast feeding it’s not like she can easily stay at the reception very long anyway.
Post # 6
208bride: Are you kidding me?? It’s a BABY not the Ebola virus. Chances are everyone but her will be so drunk the night of they won’t notice a baby crying.
That being said, I don’t see how any new mom would even want to stay out late, away from home and its creature comforts. I suppose asking her what her plans were the night of might be one way to address the issue.
Post # 7
I’m sure she’d rather be at home too. I wouldn’t even want to go to a wedding days after giving birth. Recovery is tough.
Post # 8
coffeedrinker: Really?! Babies are actually not the Ebola virus?! I’m sure all of the people having entirely child-free weddings with no accommodations whatsoever will be SO relieved.
Post # 9
Pollywog: I did ask her a few days ago and she had no answer haha. She was like “hmmm we haven’t thought too much about it, we’ll play it by ear” which made me nervous. I talked to her today though and expressed my concerns and everything is fine. I guess her husband told her he didn’t want to move all the baby stuff out to the venue; since it’s only 15-20 minutes away, he said he’d rather just drive home. So all is well!
Post # 10
Thanks guys, we chatted and while she thinks it would be fine, she said her husband has voiced concerns with the logistics of baby being there overnight as well, so she said going home afterwards is no big deal.
Post # 11
If I were you I’d be more concerned about birth logistics than sleeping arrangements. Even if she has a scheduled c-section for days before your wedding complications from the surgery could arise (knock on wood), the baby could be early, late, whatever. Truth be told your MOH might be thinking that she can totally be a new mom AND your MOH but could conceivably cancel at the last minute. Whoa! Sooooo I’d be thinking about Plan B and C here instead of where to put them to bed.
Post # 12
Glad to hear that you guys found a solution that worked for everyone! Don’t let it worry you. My MOH had a 1 month old at our wedding, another bridesmaid had a 2 month old and a groomsman had a 4 month old. They had a breast feeding party during the cocktail hour (they all went to a separate room and chatted while they were breastfeeding). It was all fine!
Post # 13
Soon2ElopeBee: I was super concerned with this and offered her an “out” because I am still not convinced she will be able to be to even be there. And lots of people on weddingbee got mad at me for it haha. Her due date is Aug 25 (my wedding is Sep 6) and with her last baby she went 13 whole days over. She says it’ll be fine because she’s having a natural birth and natural births have easier recoveries, she says … Plus, she said she “stopped at the grocery store” on her way home with baby #1. Um, ok, stopping at the store is SO different from attending a wedding as a bridesmaid lol!!!!
This has been pretty stressful for me because she wants to be SO involved and do everything, but I’m so hesitant to rely on her because if her baby doesn’t come exactly on time, then I’ll have to re-delegate all those tasks and repeat the details and logistics talks with other people last minute … It caused problems with the dress because she could either be 9 months pregnant or still bloated post birth or back to her normal size, we just don’t have any way of knowing. I really wish she had accepted my offer to attend as a guest. I feel like now that it’s crunch time she feels pressure to do everything shes been saying she will and I don’t want her to push herself at all. Just a weird situation all around.
her original due date was Sep 1 and I expressed my concern that at only four or five days post birth she won’t be even able to attend, and she said “oh let’s plan on me still being pregnant, I went so far over last time” and then they changed it to Aug 25 and now she’s like “I know I’ll hav her a few days early, I can just tell, second babies are early.” She’s just trying to reassure me I’m sure. It’s just a waiting game at this point. Nothing any of us can do!