- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Ok Bees I need some help with dealing with my FMIL.
First let me give you some background, I am Catholic, FH is Jewish and so is FMIL.
FMIL and FH’s father (FFIL1) divorced when FH was young. FMIL re-married when FH was 15 to a Catholic man (FFIL2). FFIL1 re-married to a methodist woman, so there is a long history of interfaith marriage here so that isn’t as much of an issue for us thankfully.
However there are some problems and quite frankly I don’t know how to deal with her. On a side note, both FH and FMIL are native New Yorkers (the city) specifically Brooklyn and FH tells me this actually is significant, and I am from the south.
FMIL has on numerous occasions told me I have too much stuff and need to get rid of it, this even after being told that most of what I own is either books or inherited items and all of what I own is currntly in storage because of FH and I’s living situation where as she questions any item he gets rid of/sells/donates to charity and agonizes over him getting rid of anything even outdated electronics.
Both my mother and FMIL have given us money for the wedding, recently because of a dress issue, I had to get a new dress, my mother gave us an additional ammount of money, I told FH who mentioned it in a conversation with his mother, his mother automatically said that I expected her to give us more as well even though I never asked her to help with the wedding from the get go at all, she offered with no prompting from us to match what my mother was giving us and essentually made me out to be a gold-digger.
She is constently taking swipes at me, either that I “post too much on Facebook” I don’t cook and clean enough for FH ( apperently I am supposed to do it all in addition to working a full time job) I don’t do his laundry etc. Basically I treat him like an adult and expect him to be one.
I am about to call off the whole wedding, elope and retern her money to her.