Post # 1
I’d love some help. My fiance and I have been together for 2 years, engaged now for 6 months and our wedding is in 6 weeks (!). I am 29 and my fiance is 33. The problem is that I am more kind of logical and practical when it comes to our wedding. Yes, of course I want my wedding to be something you’d find on a wedding blog but at the same time I’d be happy with a more conventional wedding too. My fiance, on the other hand, is completely obsessed with every wedding detail – from the food, to the fragrance when you enter the venue, to the seating chart and table numbers, to the bridesmaid outfits, to the colour of the tablecloths.
Now, I know some brides out there may love their guys to become more involved, my fiance’s level of involvement is causing major friction in our relationship. We have been fighting so much it’s crazy and over the dumbest things. I just feel that the wedding is one day in our lives rather than the be all and end all and I feel we should be focusing on our marriage and our lives together. My fiance feels that this is an opportunity to work together as a team and if we can’t do that then he says that he is worried about how we will be able to work together in our futures.
This is all compounded by the fact that up until a couple of months ago, my fiance was the most chilled, laidback, sweet and calm guy you ever met.
I would love some advice as to how to handle him without causing more stress and also whether after the wedding he’ll calm down and go back to the man I love and who I got engaged to.
Post # 3
Has he worked in any capacity before where weddings have been held or has he been to so many he has some solid opinions formed about what he likes and doesn’t? My SIL worked for a large hotel where there were always tons of weddings going on, so he he was VERY opinionated about everything for their wedding. It was pretty frustrating to deal with as my daughter had very little interest in all the details.
I got tired of ordering things and showing them only to have him find fault with every little thing. Finally I told him he could do it all without any help from me. My daughter was so laid back, she just wanted to show up with everything done for her, but she was annoyed at him for trying to take over everything. Once I handed it over, he decided to back off because then he knew how much work was really involved. lol
It worked for us, but maybe it wouldn’t for you?
Post # 4
Since you don’t care as much, just let him make the decisions you don’t care about. He will get stressed, you just need to learn how to manage him when he’s stressed. You will get your wonderful man back…in 6 weeks. 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t really have advice, but I can tell you, I am going through the same thing, and it is really frustrating. He is suuuper opinionated and picky. I am, about some things. He seems to be about everything. At first, I was thrilled that he wanted to be involved, but now I am sooo wishing he would just say, “whatever you want, honey”.
Post # 6
yeah my groom wants to be involved. it’s tough, because he thinks he should be, then he thinks he shouldn’t be. I want him to be involved when it comes to making decisions, but for the actual planning of stuff, he doesn’t do things in a timely fashion, when he has been given a job. we have fought a lot too, but we always get over it. Sometimes, I wish we would have just gone away and done it…