- 4 years ago
I’m using a new account so this isn’t tied to my more public one.
Ok- I have been planning my wedding for 2 years now. At the beginning of the planning process, I asked my best friend and my sister to be Co-Maids of Honor. Everyone was excited and on board and ready to go.
Well- now the wedding is less then 3 months away and their attitude has changed completly.
A) I went over the price of the BM dress with them to make sure everyone could manage it. They all said it was fine. Turns out, my sister could not afford it and I had to purchase hers, which I was 1000% ok with. Now all I’m hearing from them is how ugly the dress is and how expensive it was and how this wedding is making them poor. This just makes me feel AWFUL because I don’t want to put anyone out, but also angry because I asked them if they were ok with it and they said yes.
B) Bridal shower. Mine and FI families live everywhere and it’s basically impossibe to get everyone together. So, FMIL decided to plan a shower that would be for his extended family and her girlfriends. The shower is really more for her to socialize with her friends, but hey I’m grateful that she’s throwing it. Then my dad’s GF decided to throw one where they live, which is 8 hours away. This will be my dad’s extended family.
NOW all I asked my sister was IF they were throwing a more traditional one- with bridesmaids and friends and coworkers. She responded by calling me Bridezilla and it’s not fair that I’m expecting her to spend so much money- this is the sister who hasn’t spent a dime because I paid for her dress. So I was honest with her that I would rather her not throw one if that’s her attitude. But now she’s planning it with my other MOH and all they do is WHINE about how much work it is and how much money it is. I keep telling them to just not throw it if it’ll be too much. They just accuse me of being passive aggressive and a “Princess” and then go back to whining about it. My MOH told me yesterday told me, “don’t expect catering or gifts from me or drinks or anything like that. You’ll get what you get”
I mean here’s the thing- I REALLY DON’T CARE IF THEY THROW A SHOWER. Like REALLY. Especially if they’re going to guilt me the whole time about having to plan it. But how do I get that across without making them think I’m just playing the passive aggressive card?! I want this wedding to be relaxed and FUN and so far it’s just stress and guilt.
C) They both told me to “grow a pair” and go to my dress fittings alone. Which, whatever, it’s fine if you dont want to go- just don’t be mean about it.
D) EVERYTIME I bring up anything to do with wedding planning or ask their opinions, it’s always, “I don’t see why that’s important. No one will notice.” or, “weddings are such a waste of money. I dont know why you’re doing this.” Just so NEGATIVE.
In conclusion, I don’t know how to handle this. This is their first time being bridesmaids, so maybe they just didn’t know what they were signing up for? I dont know.
If everyone didn’t already have their dresses, I would just call off the whole bridal party and have them just be guests. I’m just over trying to make them be excited when they just aren’t interested.
Any advice? I’m really lost here.