Help with Negative Bridesmaids

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@throwaway61113:  

I’m really sorry you’re going through all that. As your BF AND Sister, you would think they’d be more supportive, so I’m hoping that they just don’t know what may be involved? These reactions, after two years, make me wonder if there was something you said or did that has affected them. I don’t see any other reason.

I have mad respect for you that you established the price of the dress with them FIRST and made sure they were ok with it AND paid for your sister’s dress. You couldn’t have been a more thoughtful bride. 

My advice would be to talk to them each about what is bothering them, why they’ve suddenly “turned” and ask them what exactly they expect of you. Definitely let them know you feel this way. If it comes to it, don’t have a BP. They don’t seem up to it and even if they have a dress, I don’t think it’s worth it to know they’re not there for you on that day. I’m really sorry that you feel alone in the whole wedding planning stuff. I know how that feels. Turn to your future husband, he’ll make you feel better.

Post # 4
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Stop talking to them about the wedding. Your next communication with them should be where to show up ON THE WEDDING DAY (not expecting folks to get dressed with you, spend the night with you or anything else) and if there is to be a rehearsal dinner, when it is and where (letting them know if they can’t make it, you’ll understand)

Post # 6
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@throwaway61113:  I’m just over trying to make them be excited when they just aren’t interested.

 

Isn’t that SO sad? I had the same problem, both DH and I trying to understand why people just didn’t seem to care. The worst and best advice I heard was that ‘no one will care about your wedding as much as you do.’ and I found out it’s true.

I’m the kind of person that has always been excited for friends and went above and beyond for ‘their’ time, but I didn’t get it back.

 

We expect people to act how WE are, but that’s just not what happens.

 

I’ve been trying my hardest to figure out what I could have said/done to make them act like this. I feel like I’ve been pretty relaxed, but maybe it’s coming off as something else?
– I guarantee, nothing. If you mention your wedding more than several times (which you have to do when you’re planning!) people tune out and think you’re obsessed. I was pretty cool too but even got told people were sick of hearing about the wedding. Sheesh.

 

Really sorry sweetie, that sounds so deflating. Just make your plans as best as you can and be excited with your FI and with whomever is also excited (I found this to be my sister and MIL and stepmom.) Forget everyone else. Just give them their marching orders nicely and leave it at that.

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