Post # 1
So our wedding is in 103 days and I am in a quandry. I had asked all 4 of my grooms men when times were good and we were all close knit. Now one of them is acting a bit off and being rather insulting, his wife has insulted us as well, but that is neither here nor there.
As of recent he called me out as a liar on something in front of a group of people. When I then tried to defend myself as I was innocnet of what he was charging me with, he refused to drop the subject. He also has incessantly brought up a topic that has been dead for a few weeks now.
I still cherish his friendship, but am finding it hard to find the words to ask him to step down. Not only are we friends, but co-workers as well.
I tried to open the door and give him an out, but he would not take it nor would he admit there were a problem. When we are at work things are mostly fine, but it is outside of work where things go awry.
Any help would be appreciated as both my fiancee and I want to keep him and his wife as friends and have them at the wedding as guests, but neither of us feel we should have someone in the wedding party who has caused us so much grief.
Post # 3
Have you talked to him about the way he has been acting?
I find that a lot of times, trouble between friends in the middle of wedding planning gets handled differently then it would if you weren’t planning a wedding.
Just as an example, I had a problem with my bestfriend in the begining of my wedding planning. If I weren’t planning, I probably would have callled her out on the way she was acting. We would have talked it out and gone back to being friends. But instead, I took everything personal and decided to essentially kick her out of my wedding party.
I regret it so much! We are still friends but I would love to have her stand next to me on my wedding day!
So, with that said, I think you should first try to mend the friendship. If that doesn’t work, then I would consider asking him to step down.
Good luck 🙂
Post # 4
Sorry, I don’t think you can ask someone to leave your wedding party and expect to still keep him as a friend. If you value his friendship, I would think about just letting it go and keeping him in the wedding party. Maybe hang out with him one on one and see if you can repare the relationship before hanging out in a group where he maybe felt he had to compete with you.
Post # 5
Thanks both of you. I tried the talking thing one on one and everything seemed to be done and over with. Then passive agressivness came out again.
I am going to give it another shot. But if he ruins my fiancee’s day in any way shape or form, it’s on like Donkey Kong. 🙂
Post # 6
Good Luck, that’s a tough situation.
My best guess would be get you and your fiance, with your groomsman and his wife together in a neutral setting and hash it out. If they value your friendship the way it seems you value theirs, then a resolution should be found.
Post # 7
All was resolved. Friendship saved, work life saved, groomsman saved. Let’s hope the next 100 days go quickly…