(Closed) HELP! wording for an out of state post wedding celebration

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Invitations to a “casual” gathering are normally issued by word of mouth (or the twenty-first century equivalents of email, text, phonecall or private Facebook event). Invitations to an “informal party” or by an informal note along the lines of

Dear Aunty,

John and I are opening our house to guests on Saturday the 17th from 2:00 to 4:00, to introduce True and her new husband George Smith to all our family and friends. Please drop in and visit with us for a while during those hours.


True’s Mama

I’m guessing your  parents actually want something a little more formal. If your mother has a social card or informal with her name and address on it, she can just write on the face of it, like this:



Miss Aspasia Phipps


February 17th between 2:00 and 4:00

to meet Mr John Smith and Mrs True Smith

.                                                              123 Main Street                            

.                                                              555-1234


The parts in bold are what is engraved on her card, and the parts in italic are what she would write, and then mail to her guests or hand to them (inside a little card-sized envelope) at her bridge club. Sometimes the words “At Home” are also written on the card just before the date: “At Home February 17th ….”

If your mother doesn’t have social cards or engraved informal notes, she uses the same general format but has the whole card printed up for the purpose, a little larger so that she has room for a little more explanation to twenty-first century guests, who no longer visit and may not remember what it means to be “at home” to visitors:



Mr True Papa and Mrs True Mama

will hold an Open House February 17th

and welcome guests to drop in between 2:00 and 4:00

to meet Mr John Smith and Mrs True Smith

.                                                              123 Main Street                            

.                                                              555-1234


You’ll notice that in every example, the hosts take care NOT to mention “who either couldnt come to their east coast wedding or werent invited” That is because polite hosts make a point of not mentioning social events to the people who were left out of the social event: something that was rubbed into their awareness in kindergarten when they were warned not to tell the whole class about their birthday party because they were only allowed to invite six people.

Post # 4
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are in same situation. We are getting married where we live – Madison, WI, but are having a casual get-to-gether in St. Louis, our hometowns. It is going to be from 2-6, open house style at a brewery. We are going to have light appetizers, wedding cake, and a open bar. I will wear my dress and he will wear whatever he decides to wear at our wedding.

We put a heads up in our Save the Date. It said:

“Can’t make it to Madison? That’s ok. We hope you can join us at an afternoon open house to celebrate with the newlyweds on October, X 2012 in St. Louis”

We are also planning on having a insert or note on the invitiations and a RSVP for both parties. 

Everyone we are inviting to the St. Louis party is invited to the wedding so that’s why it makes sense for us to put the info together. If you are planning to invite people seperately, this might not work for you. The pp had some good ideas/tips. 


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