Post # 1
Hi, I’m fairly new to Wedding Bee, but today I had my first wedding meltdown I guess you could say. So I was stressing myself out today about venues, dates and getting the date I want for my church. I have not been to church much in the past few years for a variety of reasons, but my FI and I have decided to get married in the church I grew up in (and went to catholic school at). So in the midst of my stress out session my FI mentioned that his sister was not allowed to have 2 Maids of Honor and 2 Best Men at her wedding. She got married in a Catholic church in Pittsburgh about 5 years ago. He was not sure if this was the priest’s decision or the catholic church’s decision. So I am turning to the hive to see if anyone knows anything about this.
I am going to ask my sister to be my Matron of Honor and my best friend to be my Maid of Honor. This is something that is very important to me and something I wanted way before I was engaged. While I am feeling better about the things that were stressing me out earlier, this has now been on my mind and is worrying me.
Post # 3
… I’ve never heard of that at all! My whole family is Catholic and they’ve all had 3-4-5-6 bridesmaids! I’d ask your priest specifically if there are limits for them. It sounds like that was a little wacky.
Post # 4
I just realized that my heading wasn’t clear..opps. I know I can have as many bridesmaids as I want (I am planning on asking 3 friends, and FSIL) but I want my sister and my best friend to be my Maids of Honor. FI’s sister was told she could have as many bridesmaids as she wanted but only 1 Maid of Honor, where I want 2 Maids of Honor.
Post # 5
Maybe it’s because they need two people as witnesses for the marriage certificate and they didn’t want to cause trouble at the ceremony? I’ve never heard of this rule…
Post # 6
It’s not a “Catholic” rule, this would be a rule by a specific church. Is one married? You could easily have a Matron of honor. I think the main this is to decide which of your two is the official witness and signer of your license.
Post # 7
I’d check with the specific church and priest who will be marrying you to find out for sure. I would guess that only one MOH would sign the marriage license as a witness, so maybe that’s where the confusion came from? Although I’ve been one of 2 MOH and we just split up the duties, so it worked fine.
Post # 8
I’m with Jessie.
Who you pick to be your MOHs has nothing to do with the church. My thought is that one person from each side has to witness the marriage certificate. I have seen girls split up duties by having one sign the marriage cerificate and the other walk down last and hold the bride’s bouquet. Really the only thing that anyone can see about who is who is what you list in the program. The church only wants one person on the certificate and in their records. That’s all. I would ask your priest, but that’s my assumption.
Post # 9
Whoever told you this is wrong. If there is some rule like that (which I can’t imagine) it would be a rule for that specific church.
We are getting married in the Catholic Church and just finished meeting with our wedding coordinator at the church this weekend. FI is having 3 best men, which was no problem. One one may sign the marriage license, which is a state of California thing, but that is the only difference.
Post # 10
I don’t see why not. We were scheduled to have two best men unitl about a month out when one of them was unable to make it due to a family emergency, pre-mature birth of a baby.
Post # 11
It’s an individual-church rule, not a Catholic Church rule. I think that restriction is pretty rare, and if it does happen to exist at the church you’re getting married in, I would bet that if you explain your reasoning for having two MOHs, and explain what duties each one will have during the ceremony, your priest will be totally okay with it. Don’t stress about it! 🙂
Post # 12
I think what is meant is that there are spaces for one witness for each party (bride and groom) on the paperwork. You can have both an Maid and Matron of Honor, but probably only one will sign the witness form.
Post # 13
You should talk to the church you’re marrying in to make sure, but I think you should be fine. I have a matron of honor AND a maid of honor. Like some mentioned, only one will sign the marriage certificate. I plan on just splitting up the regular maid/matron duties so that neither one feels slighted. Either way, the church isn’t preventing me from honoring both of them.